Lev makes a vague wiggly hand gesture. "I mean he's only doing things I like?"

"I guess you knew each other pretty well." He does not sound convinced.

"I mean, I don't want to cause trouble?"

"If it was me I would definitely prefer you causing trouble to accidentally hurting you for real."

"I mean, it's kind of unreasonable to ask that he wouldn't hurt me at all. When I like-- the kinds of things I like."

"I don't mean -- I just, I worry? I love you and I don't want anything bad to happen and then keep happening because -- and, and Ayers loves you too, so he'd probably agree." Part of him is saying that Ayers clearly does not care enough about Lev getting hurt but that part is not helpful.

"I guess?" Lev says. "I don't. --I guess almost everyone who's ever loved me has been on Nectar, haven't they."

A few days later--

It's been a week and a half in the desert and Mordred has spent it in various combinations of hot, thirsty, exhausted, and slamming his head against a metaphorical brick wall.

Currently he's in the cave, where it's relatively cool, avoiding the sunlight.

"How's the magic going? Controlling the fundamental forces of the universe sucks more than expected?"

"Unbelievably so."

(There's a couple newish bitemarks on his wrists.)

Lev indicates it with his head. "Those are way freakier than they used to be."

"Yeah. I know." But other kinds of bruising are harder to control and he doesn't want to experiment here and -- he doesn't say any of that. "Wonder how Zoe's hand is doing."

"I'm kind of grateful that my mental health is too fragile to learn any magic."

Mordred laughs even though it's not that funny.

"You want a hug or sympathy or distraction?"

"Distraction, please."

"You want me to try to teach you a language? It might be helpful to learn something you're actually good at."

"Yes," he says instantly.

"What do you want to learn? I know, uh, Yiddish, Latin, Greek, Italian..."

"...I want to say Yiddish but probably Italian is more useful."

"I also know French, Russian, and Polish, if one of those is better."

"I --"

God he's so tired why is he so tired this is languages he likes languages--

"Sorry."

"It's okay. I-- get it."

"...yeah. Thank you."

"It sucks to make yourself small. So small that you can't even-- think."