...

He's probably hungry. He gets like this when he hasn't eaten in a while and he just realised that he skipped lunch. Skipping lunch after a near-death experience is a surefire way to feel like shit. He'll just order some sushi, from that nice restaurant he orders from when he wants to hurt Iwasaki-san's wallet or when he's feeling down, and he'll take a long bath, and he'll sleep in his absurdly comfortable king bed. That'll set him right.

He shuts the door to his apartment, takes his shoes off, dumps his bag on the floor somewhere, and walks to his kitchen. Opens the fridge door to see it filled with nice food. Stares at it, shuts the fridge door, turns around, grabs an apple from the fruit bowl on his kitchen counter, takes a bite. Walks to his living room, sits on the floor, turns the TV on, turns the TV off. Grabs his phone, opens Twitter, closes Twitter. Locks his phone screen.

Stares at it.

What... does he want. He's not in the same funk he was in yesterday, he was alright at school, he flirted with the school paper's editor-in-chief. And he thought, all day long, about what to wish for. He can get anything, anything his heart desires. Anything at all. Literally anything. Whatever the fuck he wants.

What the fuck does he want.

Does he want his father to love him? Not anymore, honestly. Maybe if he'd been offered this opportunity when he was twelve he'd have taken it, but now? Fuck that guy.

He doesn't want a boyfriend, either. Honestly, he trusts his ability to find one, if he went looking. He wasn't lying when he told Haru that he didn't know his type, and he does think that he'd need to shop around to figure that out. But he... also doesn't want that. It seems like such a bother, having to focus so much on one person. So much effort. And then he only gets to fuck that one person? What if he sucks in bed. What if his dick has a weird shape. What if Yutaka gets bored of him. What if they fall into the exact same trap every long-term relationship eventually falls into and just start taking each other for granted and not appreciating each other and resenting each other, growing apathetic and even bitter. He'd rather do without.

He doesn't need money. By God does he not need money. He literally does not know what to do with all this money.

He doesn't want power. What would that even mean? His however-many-times-great-grandfather founded Mitsubishi Group. His father influences Japanese politics. What would he even want that shit for?

Not love, not power, not money. What else even is there to want?

What does he want?

He takes a two hour nap, wakes up with the start of a nightmare soon receding into the recesses of his mind where all forgotten dreams go, and decides that he needs some fresh air. He's not going to find out what it is that he wants by doing the same thing every day. He puts on some exercise clothes, grabs his wireless headphones, and goes out for a jog. It's cold as balls outside but that feels nice, too, the chilly bracing air filling his lungs while some music he can imagine himself fighting witches to pumps into his ears.

Speaking of witches, that's not a normal animal. Is... that actually an animal...? It looks sort of like a frog, but also sort of like a lilypad. Kind of like that one Pokémon, except that it's got a great big flower on it and much longer legs. Hop. Hop. Hop.

何？

He... follows?

It's just hopping down the sidewalk. Hop. Hop. Hop.