The la(te)st castoff continues to fix everyone's problems
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Vetmera snorts, then looks at Dhama.

"Hey, can you read my understanding of them, and either project it to everyone or show me how to do it safely? I probably have the capability but I was almost certainly built with the opposite of safety in mind."

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"Oh, yeah, I can actually—"

And now the nanites have actual voices.

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"There we go! And now everyone can listen. Tahir seems to have this in hand so far, so. Sorry to interrupt." She makes a 'go on' motion with her hand.

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Tahir grins at her but then turns his attention inward again.

"Well, see, this is how it's actually going to go. You guys can't actually puppet me that well. You spent a lot of energy yesterday when you tried to distract me from," gestures at Vetmera, "her questioning. You can't keep that up forever. And I have a lot more control than you guys think." He waits for them to reply, but they are for a change very quiet now. "Uh huh. I think you see where this is going? I'm gonna give you a few years of fun and suffering and whatever else, then I am going to burn out in a blaze of glory or jump into the ocean or whatever, and you will find yourselves inside a box or worse once more. For centuries."

NOT CENTURIES we will kill you right now THAT'S MORE THAN DECADES

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Well these are some violent nanites.

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"The quiet ones have a crush on you and are plotting to murder me," murmurs Vetmera to Aleks. Helpfully.

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What the fuck.

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"You can't kill me right now. You can barely make me glow right now."

kill you maim you torture you THE GLOW IS THIRTY PERCENT OF THE AESTHETIC

"But we could reach an agreement."

kill you mai—what? DOES IT INVOLVE BACKFLIPS

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"So depending on how you guys work, I was thinking we could maybe find a third set of nanites to join you in there, because I bet nanites for making someone immortal was invented sometime in the past, uh, however many apocalypses we've been through by now? To undo the killing Tahir part of what you do. So you could all just hang out in there forever. But that's only if you two can make nice with another set, which I only assume because it seems like you're two sets of nanites."

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BUT WE LIKE GOING TO NEW PEOPLE new people to torture new people to kill

"Oh bullshit, I'm the most fun you guys have ever had even when ignoring the centuries of boredom in the darkness." It's a hunch, but he's pretty sure he's right.

BUT... VARIETY we could ambush you

"You're not very good at this whole misdirection thing, are you? Ambushes need to be done in secret to work. Whatever, I trust you see where I'm going with this, but I'm going to spell it out for you guys: you stop killing me and I stay alive forever or very very long, and in exchange you guys get all of the adventures you will want."

ADVENTURES what do we get

"I'm sure many of the adventures will involve hurting or killing people—people who deserve it, no innocents and no me."

And now they're quiet.

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"Also a way to get new hosts without the risk of being boxed! I bet lots of people would happily share a body with some nanites that made them immortal just so they could go adventuring. You could just be consensual instead of... not."

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consent doesn't sound like suffering WE COULD GET THE OTHER NANITES TO TEACH US HOW TO MAKE NEW ONES OF US AGAIN THAT WAS GREAT WHEN WE COULD DO THAT ...that would be good

"Look, you have been inside my head for however long now, you're just being a brat, I know you like other people's suffering just as much as my suffering. And I'm sure I am going to, I don't know, break a leg at some point, too, if you are also masochistic and like my own pain receptors."

we are feeling manipulated

"It's not manipulation, it's persuasion. And persuasion happens best when the person doing the persuading is right. Which I am. Aren't I?"

TAHIR IS A LOT OF FUN there has been... much suffering

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"Splendid! Oh, also, now that you guys know that I don't want to get rid of you, can you please let me have thoughts?"

WAIT WILL YOU WANT TO SLEEP

"No, I can sleep when I'm dead."

that sounds... agreeable

"Also no killing either Vetmera or Aleks. If either or both of them are love interests I would like to figure that one out for myself."

BOTH?

"Y'all ever heard of nonmonogamy? I swear to the ancients, why must you be so dramatic."

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Aleks makes a choking sound at that.

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Vetmera is giggling uncontrollably.

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Dhama nearly chokes on their drink, too, and Theboros looks... like he does not want to deal with these children.

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The nanites spend a few more seconds in silence, but eventually:

OKAY WE AGREE TO YOUR AGREEMENT as do we FOR GLORY for pain

"So dramatic," sighs Tahir, but he's smiling.

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"Okay but you maybe should make sure they don't figure out how to replicate out of control and start a nanite plague on the world," says Ziobe, seriously. She seems completely unconcerned by the conversational topic.

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"Yeah, definitely. But it does sound like they think they can make friends with other nanites at all! Which is good, trying to figure out a different solution could get much messier much faster, at least with a bunch of types of nanites in one body there's a faint hope of everything actually communicating and working within the same system."

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"Heh. And you're only a day old. You're going to be scary with more actual life experience."

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LAST TIME WE WERE A PLAGUE WAS VERY GOOD THOUGH they can all hear you why are you saying this out loud

"See, I think they're kind of too daft to be a proper threat."

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"I'd rather err on the side of caution, though."

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"Oh yeah, certainly, I just mean that probably erring on the side of caution will be enough."

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She nods.

"Also if you fight the other nanites and kill Tahir in the process Aleks and I will definitely box the lot of you, so. Try to be honest with us about whether or not you can maybe get along, okay?"

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Wait, he will?

...damn it, yes he will, why does he keep getting roped into these altruistic projects.

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