"Ah.  I'm sorry."  He does see it, he thinks.  "You're right, that it doesn't make much sense that Nethys would want you to have to think of it. Which I imagine makes it worse."

Shrug.  "I expect it's Pharasma Who wanted it really."

"Well," an exhale, a bit of a smile, "if we sit here complaining of Pharasma we will not have enough night left for sleep."

And more seriously: "But I upset you, and for that I'm sorry."

(He gets a nod and a bit of a giggle in response.)

"Hm?"  What had he even said- right.  "Oh.  I don't- it's not you."

Gently: "Is it not?"

He knows he's pushing, and maybe he should stop, but... She feels so tightly wound around some hurt, when she gets like this, and he wishes he knew what it was.

"No-  yes-  it's-  I'm not introduced to many paladins-"  fuck, that came out completely wrong, and now she's gotten stuck entirely.  She buries her face in her hands.

"I don't want you to think I'm-  Iomedaean, I didn't, didn't choose the best thing and go selflessly to do it."

That gets a smile.  (The smile is not entirely unrelated to how adorable he finds it when she loses her words.)  "Am I that much of a paladin?  I really don't mean to."

"I know you're not, I..." he hesitates, thinking, but it's true, "wouldn't really want you to be?"  (Is that a heretical opinion?  But she's so obviously Nethysian, and surely Nethysians are allowed to exist.)  "Or-- of course on some level it would be best if everyone selflessly went to do the best thing, but... it sounds like a sad world, to tell the truth.  I want people to have the things they want in life, not to sacrifice all of them to the greater good.  It's just that what I want from life happens to be this."

"Mrrrgh-"  she presses the heels of her hands into her closed eyes, hissing in frustration.  She told him and he's not arguing so she has what she wanted so why is she still mad why is he so impossible.