"What is wrong with you people," he mutters.

"If you had been marginally less stupidly good at what you do, the sphere would have been ruined, we would have wasted what must have been a month's supply runs - which I notice you did not feel the need to notify me you were making, so that I could recommend you someone to go with - and the school would have likely failed you, since this was your end-of-term project and you've been complaining for months about how many projects you've messed up. No wonder, if you've been stopping in the middle to deal with nonthreats." She folds her arms across her chest. "The spell, please."

Lex hands over a sheet of vellum and cringes slightly.

"...Lex."

"I'm -"

"I can't cast this! It took me one look to know that even if it was in-affinity for me I'd need half of your crystals to run it for half an hour!"

...he feels like he should be running some kind of interference here but he's still a little bit distracted by how hot Lex is.

—wait, Sophie's thing is clothes, isn't it, and they just... "Give me a moment, the two of you," he says, diving into the corpses of the spiders and— "Aha. Here, how's this?" he says, offering Sophie...

"...the silk glands. Are you insane. You killed it, you could - you could hang onto those and auction the silk when you graduate, let alone what you could get for it in here! I - I can't even - imagine - I worked with it once and - oh my God. If you give me that you can forget about paying me for a hat, I'm making you the best damn hat you can imagine and if you try to object I will tell Chloe about this entire incident."

Scorpius cackles and says, "Well what can Chloe even do about it, anyway," but of course Sophie's right. Sirenspiders are a big deal, especially ones this big, which are super rare anywhere but—you guessed it—in the Scholomance's graduation hall. By this time in their growth cycle the majority of them are in fact down there, weaving their webs and preying on smaller, weaker mals while waiting for the feeding frenzy of graduation day itself. To most people, encountering sirenspiders this large (two of them, even) is almost certain death as they sing you to petrification and drain you of all your lifeforce for a nice little growth burst, a molting, and maybe even an egg or two.

And yet, Scorpius wiggles his hands, eyebrows raised. Come on, Sophie, you know you want theeeem~

She snatches the silk glands and shoves them into her handbag after incanting a basic organic preservation spell. Then she bounces on her heels. "Lex, you are forgiven for your absolute perfidy for the sole reason that your boyfriend is completely insane. Scorpius, you're coming to my room and I am making you express hat preferences."

"Not my boyfriend," Lex says, but his heart really isn't in it.

Scorpius shakes his head. "Sorry Sophie but I'll have to take a raincheck, I promised my not-yet-boyfriend I was going to give him a gift after this." Then before Lex can respond to that he leans closer to him and whispers, "And for what it's worth I thought it was really cool."

"That makes me feel so much better, because my entire moral universe revolves around you, you inveterate prick."

It clearly does make him feel a little bit better.

"Fine. But if you don't report to my room sometime in the next week I will be making this hat without your aesthetic input, so help me God."

"Yes, ma'am," he says, saluting, and then he puts an arm around Lex's shoulder to push him along.

Sophie follows them until she runs into a small cloud of her other friends, then makes her excuses and joins them.

As she leaves, Lex's face falls again.

"...I hate - that I couldn't really pay her. I'd give her a crystal but she's already got so many of mine from - other times I've needed her help - and she hasn't said anything but I know she can't even use the amount I've given her before graduation."

"...Lex, you blind nincompoop, she cares about you."

"...she cared about me. When we were dumb freshmen. Then she got better, and I got worse, and she thinks I'm still worth it for some reason but - no one should have to care about me. Not anymore."

He takes a step back to stop and glare at Lex, arms folded. And of course, Scorpius Lake can just stop walking in the middle of a hallway and nothing will jump him. "Okay, one, I can guarantee you one hundred percent she is putting on an act around you with the whole trade persona and she does in fact still care about you. If you never believe anything else I tell you, believe that. And two—" He looks around, and they're far enough away from crowds and towards their dorm hall that they're not gonna be heard. "And two," he continues, "stop with that crap, Higgins, you got dealt a shit hand and by all accounts you have been doing amazing with it, and if you had not killed Jack Westing I would have because that little creepy sociopathic piece of shit was not going to stop with Luisa, not after he got a taste of the power he could get like that, and, and you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time because you're a good person. I don't care how many times you insult my mother or call me a pedophile or hiss at other people, you're a good person and you care about the people around here even while they insist on making your life endlessly miserable."

"Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay to mould me man? Did I solicit thee from darkness to promote me?" Lex's eyes are dull. "Let's just go, before I have to start in on Dante."

He sighs and pushes Lex's shoulder ahead lightly, and lets his touch linger for a second before just walking on.

Lex follows along, clearly ruminating.

Nothing attacks them, and when they get to Scorpius's room he unlocks his door and disables his wards before stepping inside, leaving the door wide open as he does.

Lex steps inside reluctantly and looks around.