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In which the authors display a gift for fish-out-of-water comedy
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Mr. Nelson nods.

"I see your point. Well, if that's all you needed, I probably won't have to put him on again. Alright — let me take you up to the workroom where I store him."

He levers himself to his feet and opens the door to the stars-and-stairs again. It's two flights (one up, one sideways) to a small granite room where a golden helmet sits on a small plinth.

"Wake up, Fate. You've got a visitor."

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Twin pinpricks of golden light flare to life within the eye sockets of the helmet.

"A visitor?"

The helmet doesn't move, but it becomes apparent a moment later that it has focused its attention on Wildcard.

"Speak, then, and put your request in the hands of Fate."

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"She doesn't have a request, and you don't have hands, you old hat," Mr. Nelson mutters, lowly enough that Nabu can simply ignore him.

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-- no --

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"A visitor I am, yes, but I do not have a request to make of you, save that I would ask if I am correctly informed as to your name, if you would care to answer.  I know it is not 'Fate'.  We both know that that is but a nom de guerre.

"Regardless.  That is not, presently, the matter of primary focus.  I have a report, of information it would behoove you to know as it concerns a Lord of Chaos, and an offer, of some small speculation that it might be possible for me to create a...  Mobility aid, depending upon your needs in such matters and the extent of my own capabilities."

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"..."

 

"I see. In that case, please share your report."

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"Very well.  Firstly, a clarificatory question: Is the nature of a Lord of Order or Chaos naturally multiversal?"

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Lacking lips, Nabu doesn't frown.

"In a sense. Lords of Order and Chaos are naturally multiplanar, and there are structures of magic that a Lord of Order may employ in order to contact and merge with their other selves in nearby parallels."

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"I see.  In that case, it is likely that that is as likely the source of the claim that there were others in my circumstance - I am not from this universe, nor indeed the local sheaf of parallel worlds, should there be such a thing, and arrived when excess velocity from a cross-multiverse occurrence was transmitted to me and carried me here; he decided it would be...  Novel...  To divert me to a different point of emergence, apparently.

"It is likely as likely that he obtained his information from cross-multiverse collaboration, then, as it is that he has - ah, you would not know the reference, I do not imagine.  Regardless.  The other possible source of his information is most likely medium awareness, if you have ever heard of the Queen of Fables.  We observed him productively carrying on half of a conversation with an external entity, and that entity tangibly responded.  Or at least, we don't think the tumbleweed was most likely - ...The Witch Boy's... - doing, being as he had been rendered relatively powerless at the time he had that discussion."

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"I have heard of the Queen of Fables, actually, but only as a fable herself. Still — it is good to know that The Witch Boy has been seeking out his other selves. Perhaps the time is right for me to do more of the same. Is that what prompted your proposal for ... mobility aids?"

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"That is something I wish to attempt to reify for your use - and that of your alternate selves, should the work prove feasible for others, or if there is another with this power available - for multiple reasons, not least of which that involuntary servitude (save as punishment for a crime whereof the offender shall have been duly convicted in a court of law, by a jury of their peers) is illegal in the United States, and rather than deal with that, it is much neater to simply create an artificial support structure for you to use."

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"That, and, well.  It must be frustrating to be stuck here."

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(...Hey, wait a minute, wasn't it the JSA who stuffed the Queen of Fables into a pile of tax law?)

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(That's not relevant right now, but she's somewhat surprised he wouldn't have mentioned encountering her if it had in fact happened in this continuity.  Then again, he doesn't know we want nothing to do with her.)

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"Emergency workers, such as on-duty firefighters, including those hired by private fire-fighting companies, are not legally allowed to leave their agreed-upon shifts while there is an immanent threat to life or property, or a protective action against such that they have already begun. And the forces of Chaos never sleep, so the forces of Order must do likewise," Nabu notes.

"But it ... is frustrating that I am not able to work with anyone willing to put in the necessary hours."

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"And yet those shifts must end.  It is not a literal truth, that labor regulations are written in the blood of those that die when someone in charge sought to wring blood from stone, but it is nonetheless a truth, and limits on shift durations and consecutive shifts and just how far you could push someone were some of the first regulations we made.  If there were multiple viable bearers of your mantle, notwithstanding anything else we might devise to obviate the need, the burden would not weigh so heavily upon any of them - but there is a limit to one's ability to endure, when one is as human as you seem to need your hosts to be.

"The human body and the human mind are intricate biological machinery - but they have limits, built in to their structure.  Limits you have been pushing, and pushing, and pushing until something broke in your sole mission-critical component!", you utter fool!, she does not say.

 

"...That, and if the Witch Boy does not sleep, I would be rather surprised - he is quite...  frivolous, in his way.  A spoiled child with a godling's power.  Notwithstanding his familiar being a rather cantankerous felid, which may equally be indicative of his habits and psyche.  And certainly he is not the only force of chaos - but nor are you the only force of order."

 

"But I rather digress, as I certainly do not have the contacts I would need if I wanted to help with your lack of hosts.  Perhaps Mr. Nelson would be able, though I do not know if he would be willing.  Perhaps others of the Justice Society, or the Justice League.  I merely have - wildly speculative artifice, that might suffice regardless.

"I hope that you, at least, will likely not require a primer on the Emotional Spectrum, considering that outside of Maltusians, if anyone would have derived the Life Equation from first principles I suspect it would be you and yours, notwithstanding the Silver City - given they could've gotten it right from the Source, as best I understand, it's rather unfair to include them. 

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"...For that matter I expect you might know the other one, too, but that thing gives me the heebie-jeebies.  Even though it's so malformed and ill-specified that it can't prove shit and if someone tries to disprove the worthiness of even a Life that sucks by mumbling some grade-school pabulum that wishes it were nihilist at the universe with intent, then they can fucking fight me because where there's Life there's Hope and they can't take that from me --  ...And that's before considering that someone probably stuck their grubby fingers in it.  New Gods, not even once.  ...But, alas, I have rather digressed, haven't I.

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"Suffice to say that if there is some spark of anima that a body prosthetic would need, to be of use to you, it is not impossible that I could provide one - though I am no Lantern, as of yet, to promise that with anything resembling surety.  I have done that once, with little room for intent behind it save to prove that I could.  Yet I do believe that it could work, if it was needed."

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The helmet is silent for a long moment.

"For all that your words are spoken without forethought, I cannot say you are incorrect."

"Unfortunately, your theorized artifice will not suffice. It is true that the Life equation is a powerful force, but magic arises not only from existence, but from the Dream. There are beings that live and do not dream, and such have no connection to the world of the arcane. Those are unsuitable as vessels. I find it difficult to believe that you could create a connection to the Dream where none existed before. Additionally, there are ... benefits to efficiency, from maintaining one host for a longer period, rather than arranging a rotation. It takes time to correctly format a host's connection to allow for the full force of Order to be expressed through them."

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"...Hm!  It is true that I wasn't thinking I'd need to do that today.

"That doesn't mean it's impossible, though.  Earth has all sorts of things going around, and I'm pretty sure even you would be surprised."  Possibly including a ruby that should rightly be returned to no less than Dream of the Endless himself.  There was a villain running around with the damn thing.  With that as a reference, and-or with having done Dream or a Muse a favor...

She turns to the others.  "There was a gentleman by the name of Doctor Destiny; I don't know what happened to his effects except that I'm pretty sure he's not active these days, but if his ruby is in your possession, then it's very possible we could work something out, with that available for reference.  And if it is in your possession then there's someone we should give it back to, who might be willing to do us a favor."

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She turns back to Nabu.  "As for the question of establishing a rotation - I have to imagine there is some sort of middle ground to be had between 'one person forever' and, if I might exaggerate for rhetorical effect, 'nobody puts on the helmet twice' levels of host-swapping.  It doesn't seem to me like training up a handful of hosts - say, three, or seven, those are magic numbers or so I have heard - should be that much worse than starting from zero with a singular someone whenever Mr. Nelson dies - which, well, I'm not sure how likely that is, but it's a risk, certainly - while still reducing your bus factor.  That being, in technical terms, 'how screwed you are if someone unexpectedly gets hit by a bus' - or is otherwise taken out of commission by circumstances beyond your ability to control.

"Plus, if you do switch to a small-team model, once you've done the initial setup you probably won't have to be doing all that soul-alignment work for everyone at once when the next person needs to retire.

"That, and having multiple people supporting you, means that you are much less likely to end up in the hands of someone you wouldn't wish to be, if someone hostile to you hires, say, the entirely hypothetical Inevitable Heart-Attack Man, to assassinate your host in the field and steal the helm from their corpse."

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"Doctor Destiny, Doctor Destiny, ... Where do I know that name from?" Wonder Woman wonders to herself in the background.

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The helmet is silent as he considers.

"I have not actually tried aligning to two people at once," he admits. "There are complications of the process that will be beyond you, but I see the argument that a small loss of power is preferable to the total loss of effective power that I am currently experiencing."

 

"Kent — would you don me to allow me to seek out a ... group of worthy disciples?"

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Mr. Nelson snorts. On the one hand, he hates being confined in Fate's void. On the other hand, you don't become a superhero if you aren't willing to make personal sacrifices for the greater good.

He takes a deep breath and straightens his shoulders.

"I will wear you for no more than four hours, during which you must agree to avoid all risks to my life, health, soul, person, reputation, knowledge, skills, mystical assets, and other tangible or intangible goods that I own or over which I exercise control, except if I agree, of my own uncoerced will, being fully informed of the facts of the matter and on your planned course of action, that an individual emergency or action that you took no steps to instigate, cause, or eventuate warrants an exception. In the case of such an exception being granted, you agree to avoid all unnecessary or unreasonable risks to my life, health, soul, person, reputation, knowledge, skills, mystical assets, and any other tangible or intangible goods that I own or over which I exercise control. This agreement will be executed according to the law of Massachusetts, and if any individual provision of the agreement is found to be unlawful, the remainder of the agreement will stand. You acknowledge that returning control to me and allowing me to remove you is not a positive action, and that therefore, since time is of the essence of this agreement, you are compelled by force of law to do so no later than four hours after I don you for the first time. Should you break any term of this agreement, your life, your magics, your connection to the plane of Order, your status as a Lord of Order, and your ability to control, coerce, dominate, or direct me will all be instantaneously and completely forfeit. In compensation for my time, and in order to make this a legally binding contract, you agree to put your best effort into locating and recruiting replacement wearers subject to the above conditions for the entire time that I am wearing you, to provide me with a reasonable amount of time to speak with any such recruits in a place of privacy before they enter into any agreements with you, and to provide me with one peppercorn. Do you agree?"

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...That seems reasonable, but -

"...Four hours all at once seems a rather short timeframe across which to conduct a recruitment."

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