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Over the next week, Isabella gets the alethiometer to tell her that the planets they looked at don't contain microorganisms that know what to do with a human body (although the one with the giant bugs has some multicellular parasites that might be able to make do with the foreign macro-scale features of a human body if they got the chance). "The present", it includes in one of its answer phrasings, which is kind of worrying. But Adarin makes enough progress with his scry in little enough time that it's worth the double-check.
Isabella also hires ticket-takers, gives them little pots of ink to verify the authenticity of the passes she handed out, and opens the Los Angeles - New York route for the employees of her three companies of choice and anyone who shells out a cool fifteen thousand dollars per round trip (ten K for a one-way). This is steep, but it's within an order of magnitude of what people sometimes pay for short-notice first-class cross-country flights - with less novelty and more hassle. Albeit she doesn't supply inflight meals. She expects to have to raise the price when more people hear about it in response to volume and then be able to drop it again.
By the time the thing has been open for a few days she's fired and replaced one ticket-taker and the others have settled into a routine that she's willing to try out leaving unsupervised for awhile.
If Adarin's up for some up close and personal planet shopping and his results suggest it'll go well, anyway.
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dark_light
prodigal_miser
"Yup. My book of golden stars must be exactly what it sounds like. No silver stars allowed, I am picky."
dark_light
"Now, wait, before you go composing yourself a star book, are you sure you have not done any horrible things ever?"
prodigal_miser
"Hmmm. Hmmmmmmm. Let's see, horrible things..."
He pretends to consider.
He pretends to consider.
prodigal_miser
"I would expect nothing less. Oh, oh! Did I tell you about the time that I walked past a kitten in a tree... And didn't help it?"
dark_light
"Oh! Adarin! How could you!" exclaims Isabella in mock horror. "That poor kitten. How it must have cried itself to sleep, still in the tree, wondering what could possibly be wrong with it that you wouldn't help it down! How it could have disappointed you and whether it would ever get another chance!"
prodigal_miser
"I know," says Adarin solemnly. "I am a terrible monster. I don't deserve the book of gold stars, I left that poor kitten to fend for itself. Please, Isabella - forgive me."
dark_light
"It's not my forgiveness you need. It's that kitten's. You'll have to track it down, hat in hand, and offer it amends."
prodigal_miser
"Of course. It deserves nothing less - it may even be an adult, now, weary and cynical because of its misfortune in early life. Because of me, Isabella."
dark_light
"Adarin, I just realized - cats don't live that long - how long ago did you commit this atrocity?"
prodigal_miser
"Oh heavens. Oh heavens above and planes eternal, time is of the essence, it was years ago, my hidden, secret shame - Isabella, Isabella if I'm too late you need to make something to bring back the dead. I can't live like this, I'm a monster. I have to make it up to that cat."
dark_light
This is too much for Isabella. She bursts into peals of giggles.
prodigal_miser
Adarin joins her, laughing uncontrollably. "It's - so terrible, if cats find out they will protest."
dark_light
"You will be known to cats everywhere as -" (cackle) "Adarin the Unhelpful."
prodigal_miser
"It will -" (Giggle, snicker.) "go down in the history books as my title. My eternal shame, cats will never -" (Snicker.) "never be able to respect anyone that even looks like me, they'll be so disgusted."
dark_light
"Wherever you go cats will hiss at you. They will privately approve of the handful brave enough to offer violence! And none of it can ever accumulate to the point of making up for what you did, you cat-nonhelping evildoer."
prodigal_miser
"Just as I so rightly deserve," he says, then he tries to say something else -
- But, no, he can't. Too much laughter.
- But, no, he can't. Too much laughter.
dark_light
Mad cackling as they pull into view of the lovely island of NNSARXPHAGLURVVRTW.
prodigal_miser
It takes him a while, but eventually he recovers, still giggling a little. "Oh look, here we are. To the island of unpronounceable."
dark_light
"Everything in this language is unpronounceable, some of it more than other things... lemme know if you spot one of Juniper's friends, 'kay?"
prodigal_miser
"Yeah, I will. We seriously need to teach them English or something, though. I feel like I'm torturing my throat when I try to talk to them."
He goes on the look out for robots!
He goes on the look out for robots!
dark_light
"Yeah, but it sounds like a kind of major project to program an entire language in for them and I'm not sure if it gets any easier if they only have to understand it without having to speak it."
That could be a robot over there!
That could be a robot over there!
prodigal_miser
"Well it's a non-mana based project, at least. So I'll have something to do while I wait for my metaphorical batteries to recharge between feats of fantastic magical prowess. Also, I think I see a robot." He points to it.
dark_light
Isabella steers toward the robot. It is indeed a robot. It doesn't react to them.
"Hey, robot," she says. "You still work?"
"THIS UNIT IS OPERATIONAL" says the robot.
"I'm gonna designate you Rosie, okay?"
"YES"
"Will you show us the way to the command center?"
"YES"
Rosie starts trundling along an overgrown path, rolling effectively over medium-sized obstacles.
"Hey, robot," she says. "You still work?"
"THIS UNIT IS OPERATIONAL" says the robot.
"I'm gonna designate you Rosie, okay?"
"YES"
"Will you show us the way to the command center?"
"YES"
Rosie starts trundling along an overgrown path, rolling effectively over medium-sized obstacles.
prodigal_miser
Adarin snickers. "I vote that it becomes a naming scheme that we name them all after plants. Pretty plants."