"I mean I think I read him as culpable, I don't think it's that hypnotic. But it talks like it's definitely deliberately orchestrating how famous it's making him. And it's offering to dispose of his love interest's abusive boyfriend's body, but it could do that if it didn't talk and still ate meat, right."

Xeya makes a bit of a face at 'dispose of his love interest's abusive boyfriend's body' but bravely opts to not grumble about women as plot devices. 

Test - successful! She updates the test doc. "...have I ever given you my phone number?"

"I don't think so." He pulls out his phone.

She recites it out for him.

And now she's in there. "Do you call me or do I call you?"

"You call me!"

Ring ring.

"Hello, Xeya speaking, how can I help you?"

"Hi, I'd like an extra large pepperoni pizza and an order of garlic knots?"

...her eyes flash. "Got it, that's one extra large pepperoni pizza and one order of garlic knots, we'll put that on your tab for you. Anything else?" 

"Are you guys still doing that thing where you can get a free salad if you get a large pizza and a side?"

"Hold on, let me check -" she pauses "- we are, yes. Did you want to add a salad to that?"

"Yeah, the Caesar looks good, thanks."

(-right, she's supposed to be doing science in addition to a bit.) 

Xeya wanders out of the room. "Alright, got it, one Caesar salad. Would you like a drink with that?" 

"Nah, we have Coke at home and unlike most things we have at home it's literally the same."

Xeya's customer service impression evaporates in excitement. "That's actually only true if you're getting bottled or canned! Soda fountains mix syrup with the carbonated water directly and are stored in different containers, and this mostly doesn't matter but it's allegedly possible for some people to taste the difference blindfolded?" 

"Huh, but if I'm ordering takeout isn't it just going to be a can?"

"...bottle, yeah, but fair. I just thought it was a neat fact! It saves a bunch of storage space and transit costs to do it that way. Did you know most fast food places make most of their money on soda?"

"No way, really?"

"Yeah! It's really cheap to keep a soda fountain stocked, so the profit margins are very high."

"It's so cheap though, compared to the food..."

"Yeah! But -" she zips back into the room and pulls up some stock images on the laptop for visual aids - "so, say a burger costs them 5 dollars to make and they sell it for $5.30 - they make 30 cents for every burger they sell, right? A soda might be a dollar for a small or two for a large, but the syrup for that much soda costs pennies, so they're making almost all of the price as profit. Food is just a lot more expensive to make than soda is." 

"Huh. I guess that makes sense. But this is only when they have the machines and not when they send you a can with Doordash?"

"Yeah! Though " she walks back into the room "presumably they're getting grocery store prices for them? Or maybe gas station, grocery stores at least have bulk on their side..." 

"Soda keeps, they probably get enough to get Costco prices if not better."