AITA for thinking my mom should have come to my wedding?

May 13, 2026 4:11 AM

I (26F) got engaged to my husband (28M) last year. Ever since we announced the engagement, my mom (54F) got really invested in helping to plan the wedding -- I know she was just trying to be helpful, but sometimes it was frustrating having her shut down our first three venue ideas or insist that we just had to have a traditional wedding cake (my husband doesn't even like cake). Not a huge deal, she was the same way with my sister for her first and second weddings.

Fast-forward to last Saturday. We'd been planning to have the ceremony in the early evening, but around 10 AM I get a text from my dad (59M) telling me Mom's been dungeon-napped. We were pretty nervous, obviously, but it's not like there's much we could do about it, so we just kept on prepping for the wedding and hoped the DRT would get it sorted out.

A little after 3, we get an update from my dad telling us that she's been rescued and cleared by the medical team. Sounds great, right? There should definitely be time for her to make it over for the ceremony, right?

Wrong. Rather than bothering to show up, she went back to the hotel room to "decompress" and just... never bothered to show up. She didn't even tell us herself that she was skipping it, she left that for my dad to handle. Just to get ahead of all the people trying to lecture me on trauma, it's not like the dungeon she was in was one of the really nasty ones -- they didn't even have to pull in an esper to clear it, the only reason it even took as long as it did was because it was doing a pretty good job of hiding the people inside, but it wasn't the sort where that's a big enough deal to be worth grabbing a sensor or anything.

I haven't spoken to my mom since the wedding, and my dad won't let me hear the end of it. He's even been getting our other relatives to "back up" his side, blowing up my phone during my honeymoon to tell me that it wasn't her "fault". Obviously it wasn't her fault she was taken, but it was her fault to skip my wedding afterwards! So, am I the asshole for thinking my mom should have cared more about my special day?

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NPC

Alicorn

NTA! A run of the mill dungeon is just like being stuck in traffic or something - if you make it wherever you're going on time after all, you should be fully present.

neverless4444

Rockeye

YTA.

I was tempted for a NAH at first- A wedding is a stressful event, a huge moment in your life. She got rescued. Everything seemed fine. Emotions are high, she wants to have a rest, you're upset that she seems to be abandoning the thing she poured time and energy into when most dungeons aren't even that big a deal. Seems reasonable.

But the follow up...

Many dungeons are relatively non-traumatizing, and many victims are pretty OK. But certainly not all. Do you even know what she went through in the dungeon? Maybe not if you haven't spoken to her. I wonder how she feels about it? Experiencing terror on a day that was supposed to be special and amazing, disconnected from her daughter. I could speculate, but I won't. I don't know and neither do you. Because you're more resentful than sympathetic, and refusing to connect over that anger.

It sucks. Ruined weddings suck. Dungeons Suck. You also suck.

anon

Alicorn

INFO - just because a dungeon doesn't need espers to clear it doesn't mean it's a walk in the park for the people inside. Usually meaner dungeons are also more challenging but not always. Which dungeon was your mom in?

ThrowawayAccount742

Arete/Stars

INFO - just because a dungeon doesn't need espers to clear it doesn't mean it's a walk in the park for the people inside. Usually meaner dungeons are also more challenging but not always. Which dungeon was your mom in?

I don't want to give the exact number because it'll make this post super doxxable, but it's not like it was one of the torture ones. As far as I know it was mostly just dark and chilly and kind of cramped, my dad said there were monsters but they only went after the DRT guys.

footprison_poasting

Lielac

YTA, and also a bridezilla

red

ngl this story sounds like bait, i don't know that i believe you it actually happened, but if it did, YTA. for all you know she has claustrophobia or childhood trauma of cramped places, you don't know her whole life, even if she never said anything. and you didn't even think to ask? that's assholish behaviour

yeastinfectedwasteland

Eiko

NTA. she made you change venues three times? And then she didn't even call or text you to explain why she couldn't on the day of? I would have snapped.

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