"Okay, cool. I guess that's sad for them if being their thing isn't as good though."

"I think they mostly like it better than I did because they mostly have different priorities than me."

"Oh. Cool." He pets her hair.

She continues planning Cupcake Science.

What new wonders await at work the next day, besides the fact that she's giving all her coworkers cupcakes?

Well, there are customers. "One of the small containers full of potato salad please. The sale of meat is morally reprehensible and I'm better than pretty much everyone I meet."

"Wow, that's a thing to say," she remarks as she fetches potato salad. "I don't really understand about the sale of meat being morally reprehensible but in my experience thinking you're better than someone in that casual sort of way often leads to eating their brains so I'm a little bit concerned right now!"

"Eating someone's brains would be even worse! I had no idea there was enough brain-eating going on to be described as 'often' and am really concerned about that now not only because it could cause an outbreak of prion disease but also because of all the implied murder!"

"Oh, don't worry, I'm nearly sure my native country isn't on this planet," Bird assures her. "And I don't know what a prion disease is but I don't think we got them."

"How did you come to be nearly sure your native country isn't on this planet?"

"Well, first I left home because I didn't want to be there anymore, and then I traveled some distance underground by myself, and then I accidentally became human, and then I found a human settlement where the humans were very different from the ones here, and I already spoke their language a little because there are some humans where I'm from, but the humans in the settlement mostly seemed to not want me around, so I left, and then a very novel thing happened where one moment I was traveling underground again and the next moment I was in a human building in this town, and I discovered that all of a sudden I spoke fluent English, a language which I had not heard of before I arrived. So I think that whatever happened might have transported me a very long way. I'm not confident that I'm in a different universe than I started in, but I'm reasonably confident that I'm on a different planet, because I think if I was on the same planet, this town and the places I'm familiar with from before would have more in common or contain more general awareness that places like each other might exist. I think this town contains very little general awareness that places like my native country and the nearby human settlement might exist, and I think the reverse is also true."

"...why are you working at a grocery store if you're an alien?"

"I was wondering how it was possible that I suddenly knew a language I hadn't before, and I asked some people, and the clearest advice I got was to try asking a neurologist, but the neurologist's receptionist wanted me to have five hundred dollars and a home before I could get an appointment, and I did not have either of those things, so I asked for advice on how to get them, and following the advice led me here."

"Did you tell any of the people you asked for advice that you're from another planet?"

"I was very confused and wasn't sure I was from another planet yet! Being sure I was from another planet took time."

"I think possibly more people would be interested to know about that! But it's possible I'm overestimating most people's interest in things in general, I do that sometimes."

"I am not good at estimating how curious other people are going to be about things because I am more curious than nearly everyone I have ever met."

"Where have you been staying?"

"With Keith! I met him at the gym when I went to try to get a free membership for a month so I could shower and avoid being a smelly homeless person, and he said I could live in his house if I have sex with him, so now he is my boyfriend."

"That was a remarkably irresponsible decision on your part but you don't sound sad about it so hopefully it's working out for you. Does Keith know you are from another planet? Are you human enough to get pregnant from having sex with him?"

"I told him yesterday! I think maybe he has conflicted feelings about it. What was irresponsible about that decision?"

"It's sudden and based on things other than personal compatibility. Plus possibly you could get pregnant, which you seem unlikely to be able to deal with well."

"I think I am really unlikely to get pregnant because of the nature of the magic that turned me human. I don't really have a good point of comparison for how sudden it was but Keith did not seem to mind. I think you might be operating from a confused understanding of my perspective and priorities."

"Yeah, that seems likely both because of you being an alien and because of how this conversation has gone. I would like to talk to you more about you being an alien but not hold up the deli line, can I meet you when you're done with work?"

"Yes! My shift ends at three PM."

"I would appreciate it if you'd meet up with me then but kind of expect you to flake due to base rates." And off she goes with her potato salad.