Tommy's not doing so great, if he's totally honest with himself. Maybe he's sick. Mostly he just feels sad, but it's all up in his body, too. He's sleeping almost as much as George, which is how he knows it's bad.

Everything's just--hard. He can't sew anymore without stabbing himself, his hands shake too badly, and if he stands up too fast he blacks out and wakes up on the floor, and he can't sleep from nightmares but he's fucking tired, all the time, and his heart goes all funny. His hair's even falling out, like he's becoming an old man. He feels like he needs to scream into his pillow or something, but he's not sure if that would still be loud enough to attract mals, so he doesn't. Instead he plays his music box. He remembers when he would listen to it and feel something but he doesn't, anymore, it's just--another thing. At least he still has Shroud and Henry. He read somewhere that pets are good for sad people, so he keeps them with him all the time. The good thing about pets is that they have to listen to him and be his friend, because he's the one that feeds them, on mal grubs and bits of his mana, so even if everyone else leaves him they can't.

It's sort of like with Clay. Clay's cool, at least. He hangs out with Tommy... not all the time anymore, because he spends most of his time practicing for graduation in the gym with Nick and George, but as much as he can, and he always makes sure Tommy's okay, and sometimes he gives Tommy a bit of mana, and he makes Tommy laugh. And he doesn't fucking pity him. Tommy probably owes Clay, even though he'd never admit it to his face. Clay didn't have to keep him around--George didn't want him to, either, Tommy's pretty sure--but he did.

Clay's graduating soon, though. He'll be gone, either out of here or--well. And no one else--no one else cares. 

He should probably start preparing for Clay's graduation. It's what he would have done before.

(What's the point, he thinks, I won't be around much longer anyway.)

So. Preparations. He needs... More mana storage. And a knife. Not because Clay's not protecting him well enough, just for--after.

He asks permission to work on a shop project while Clay practices at the gym, and he gets it. Clay walks him to the door, and then leaves him. It makes him feel funny inside. Guilty, mostly, but also something else.