He squirms. "I - don't think I was looking that far ahead. Maybe Altarrin was, but...maybe not. I think maybe the compulsions are bad for looking at the bigger picture that way, when there's - always something urgent that needs addressing..." 

"If I were going to do a mind control empire I think I'd have as a high-priority to - reevaluate priorities while subject to different compulsions at least once a year - and a compulsion that gracefully handles sufficiently out-of-context things - I don't know exactly how I'd design it -"

"I think maybe mind control empires are just usually bad, and - hard to get right." 

Aaaand he does not feel incredibly ready, actually, but he's fairly sure that he isn't about to have another breakdown and he really should, at this point, get up and put clothes on and go find Altarrin to confirm that he's ready to return to the Empire.

He will drag himself through the steps of this, vaguely hoping that it starts feeling less like a 'should' and more like a real thing he cares about once he's got some kind of compulsion back in place.  

Caris smiles at him, not especially gently. "Go run your Empire. I think you'll do fine. You're very well-behaved."

He's...not sure that being well behaved is especially a qualification for being Emperor of the Eastern Empire but it does, still, somehow help to hear it. He hugs Caris, but doesn't cling at all, and then walks briskly out to find Altarrin. 

Altarrin has managed to catch up on all the critically time-sensitive things via communication-spell, and even squeezed in two candlemarks to sleep. It's really convenient how the Ring of Sustenance means he doesn't need more sleep when he's semi-accidentally stayed up for nearly 24 candlemarks straight, though it might be less convenient when he's predictably unable to sleep at the normal time tonight. 

He's been poking at immortality research some more, but rises immediately when Bastran enters the room. "Are you all right?" 

That's an unfairly impossible question to answer right now! Bastran makes a face. 

He takes a deep breath. "Hold still, don't resist. That's an Imperial order. ...I should have done this a long time ago." 

Altarrin obeys, of course. He looks politely puzzled but not alarmed. (He is perhaps slightly alarmed.) 

Bastran is not incredibly skillful at this, especially compared to Altarrin, though to be fair no one measures up to Altarrin. He forces down the self-consciousness about it, and focuses on unpicking - not all of the compulsions - but the most strongly mind-affecting ones, loyalty to the Empire and to Bastran's person, and then the additional layer that makes tampering with the other compulsions not something he can think about. 

This is kind of terrifying but he hopes Caris is proud of him. 

(Caris would be SO proud but he's actually recuperating in a Rope Trick from a very stressful day. A good day, but a stressful one.)

Altarrin is genuinely surprised! And then unsure whether he should be - is that unfair to Bastran - he desperately wishes he knew what Caris had talked about with him - 

He holds very still, both physically and mentally, until Bastran is done. 

Bastran works for several minutes, his face blank with concentration, and then lets his breath out. He takes a step closer, reaches out to take both of Altarrin's hands. 

"I'm so sorry," he says quietly. 

"...I rather thought I owed you an apology. Caris definitely thought so. I - had a choice - you really didn't." 

A quiet, bitter laugh. “You haven’t had a choice, though, not in a long time. Maybe not in this lifetime at all. You landed here as a child, didn't you? You were fostered at court, just like me." He shakes his head. "I don't - it doesn't really matter. I'm just...sorry I didn't realize earlier, how badly it was hurting you to stay." 

"If I wanted you to know, I really could have communicated better." 

"- I don't know that you could have, you were barely allowed to think about–" 

He stops himself. "Nevermind. Just, I want things to be different. I - want the Empire to be a place that doesn't chew people up and break them, I want it to be - the thing you always wanted to build. But I think to start with it has to be - not breaking us. And for you that means working on the research you actually think will matter. I want to find a way to make that happen." 

Wow. Altarrin is SO CURIOUS what Caris said to him!!! 

He meets Bastran's eyes, levelly. "I would be deeply grateful. And - I think it will be what lets us win, in the end." Maybe not even at a horrifying cost. 

"I hope so." 

He lets go of Altarrin's hands. Shakes himself a little, trying to loosen the pointless tension in his shoulders. 

"...I don't know if I want to leave, but - I think it would help if it felt like an option. And Caris had an interesting idea. I know there's no one you'd strongly back for the succession right now, but - is there anyone whose limitation is just not being experienced or careful enough? Because - Caris can make magic items. He can make them nearly impossible to kill, and give the the fanciest Wisdom kind of headband, and...that'd go a long way, right?" 

...Altarrin genuinely hadn't thought of that! And he really should have! 

"That is a good point. I - have not reviewed my backup list that recently but I ought have a look. Caris should perhaps have a say, too, if he is making the magic items." 

Nod. "We can come back another time, talk about it then. For now I think we'd best get back to the Empire, and - you should redo the compulsion. I don't want to cause a scare, it's terrible timing, but...Caris had an idea, that you could figure out a variation that looks about the same to mage-sight but isn't - controlling, or is only as controlling as I'm choosing to let it be? So I can - use it for motivation, I think I actually do have a lot of working habits built on that, but not get - trapped in a rut again. Er, and if it's not too complicated I could do yours that way too, if you're worried about routine checks?" 

Altarrin considers it. 

"...I think I am not actually incredibly worried about routine checks. It would have been very bad if it were noticed when Carissa's position at court was so tenuous, but I do not expect to be in danger. I can do a modified one for you, though, if you prefer that." 

"I think I prefer it, yes." He ducks his head. "Thank you." 

It's fiddly work, getting a compulsion to have exactly the effects he wants, and no others, while also looking (misleadingly) exactly the way he wants as well. Altarrin focuses on it for nearly ten minutes. 

After he's done, he wants to sit down for a few minutes before Gating them back, it wasn't a lot of mage-power but it was still effortful. 

And he'll try reaching out to Caris with the comms spell. (He's got it to the point where his artifact can pick up on the spell even from an extradimensional space, as long as it's the kind of extradimensional space with a door.) 

<What did you tell him?> 

<I mostly didn't? He just thought about it a bit on his own. My understanding is that Good people mostly just...do Good once you get out of their way? That's the whole point?>

Is it that simple? It doesn't feel like it should be that simple, but maybe he's just, again, failing to give Bastran enough credit. 

<He told me you spoke of finding a successor. I think - I expected him to be more afraid of the unknown? That considering leaving would be - harder, even if it hurt to stay.: