" - you don't?"

"No. I think you made the right decision, to come here, even though it was terrifying, and will probably get even more terrifying, and might all end in ruin."

"Why."

"I'm not, actually, cleared to talk with you about Keltham's plans."

"I don't think it gets easier from here, for you, but I do think we will win."

"Destroying the universe isn't winning."

"No, it isn't."

The story's now clearly-designated villain heads over to room 3, walking at a normal pace.

He knocks on Sarcini's door.

She opens it. 

He steps inside and closes the door.

"Carissa Sevar does not like the thought of me taking possibly any risks of destroying the universe and I told her that it was looking like my best-alternative-to-negotiated-agreement was turning her into a statue for a week and she had a panic attack and I thought she was over that she told me before she was over the statue thing and the story is making me a villain and I do not want to be a villain and I do not like being a villain especially to her this was not how I wanted to finally be the villain to her and force her to do something for real the way she wanted to be forced for real and our relationship is over I need a hug."

- she hugs him. She's taller than him, with a build that's not entirely human; she says she's half-something, but what the something is changes every time.

"I am just absolutely bursting with advice but possibly this is not the time."

"I think this is, in fact, a pretty good time to be reminded of - things my people would think were common sense -"

"I suspect it's a time."

"Okay, number one, she's Chelish, if she ever said she doesn't have trauma, she was lying. That's on her, not on you, but so far as knowing what to expect goes, yeah, she has trauma, she's fucking built out of it. Cheliax is awful, yeah? That's why we have to end it. 

Number two, like sixty percent of relationship problems are, 'we had that conversation and got wildly different things out of it', so maybe have someone have her write down what she thinks her major takeaways were, just so you can compare and marvel at the mortal condition. I don't know how anyone reads their own past notes, or two different records of the same conversation, and doesn't want to dissolve the whole universe in a vat of acid. 

Number three, you also have trauma, dumbass! From her, specifically, lying to you and manipulating you! From her trying to get you to hurt her!"

"None of that hurt at the time.  All the trauma was at the end and - therefore I am not hurt, which is completely logical, right -"

"Yes, I realize none of that made any sense, however, what you don't realize is, that's not the issue, the issue is that Carissa is completely unreasonable about ending the universe."

"Everyone's completely unreasonable about ending the universe. That's the other forty percent of relationship problems that aren't miscommunications."

"Is there a reason you're not just, telling me that I'm valid, which was sort of, why I was here?  A reason such as for example my not being valid."

"Honey, I have no fucking idea what happened from your description. You told her you were going to statue her, she had a panic attack? Sounds to me like you're valid, and also she's valid, kinda? Probably if you tell people that you're going to statue them, then solidly eighty percent of the time they'll have a panic attack. You know I think you're if anything trying too hard at avoiding destroying the universe and that she's batshit insane about that."

"Everyone in Civilization would try pretty hard to fix any universe, even this one, rather than destroying it, they'd just, have the maturity to accept destroying a universe if they had to, if the universe was one where a third of souls hurt forever or die if they're lucky, and Carissa Sevar is an alien whose views are sort of internally consistent at least but I don't understand why everybody who isn't Carissa Sevar is, is, this reality is like an insane parody of arguments against negative utilitarianism, is what it is, it's a giant straw reality because nobody who argues against negative utilitarianism would say that you shouldn't even destroy Pharasma's Creation and people here are in some kind of bizarre state of not thinking about Hell because they grew up with Hell always being there and it's like this whole, insanity, is trying to crush in on me like the Evil planes weigh on your spirit if you go there without protection and I need you to say the simple sane things first and put the complicated relationship advice later."

"There are billions of people in Hell and they're suffering horribly and pointlessly.

You couldn't ask them, 'hey, want me to destroy the universe', because they'd assume it was some cruel trick that was going to hurt them worse.

Every day more people are born who'll end up in Hell.

No one has a plan that will solve this any time soon.

Even outside Hell most people have awful coerced painful lives where they're scared and suffering practically the entire time.

Having kids in this world is horribly immoral.

People only do it because they don't have a choice, or have never thought in their life about whether anyone should exist, or are making sure not to think about the Evil afterlives."

"Okay, see, that still isn't what I was looking for because the people outside of Evil afterlives, if you ask them, will say not to kill them, whereas the people in Hell say to please kill them, I literally heard somebody say it when I cast Vision of Hell, and how am I the only one who thinks that yes you destroy the multiverse because the people in Hell explicitly want that very intensely and there are lots of them, however, I have at least now heard both sides being crazy instead of only one side being crazy so I still feel very alone but not like some kind of massive social group hallucination is trying to choke me with its ghostly bare hands."

"You may proceed to relationship advice."

"Assign someone who is not you to keeping the chick out of trouble and punishing her if she acts up."

"That's terrible advice.  The 'chick' has an artifact headband more powerful than mine and is very likely now this story's protagonist and if I try to casually leave her to my minions it will not end well."

"- okay, point taken, but the thing you're doing is incredibly, incredibly doomed. You and her have a history where you hurt her 'cause it's hot. Now, you broke it off, and you're doing the exact same thing except it's for real, and both of you fall apart when it turns out that in real life, hurting people hurts them."