I got the new laptop's word processor to almost render my name correctly, that counts as progress. Right?

I forgor to change the header template to match the title.

Incident Report, Naarm, 13.0.13.12.5 2 Chikchan 18 Sotz' - .6 3 Kimi 19 Sotz'

Principal Author:

Now it's fuckin urple.

Eh, let's get on with it.

"Writing an after action report for the shootings?"

"Yep, and everything up till I stabbed you.
You should do some too, but I know you are busy updating your fucking Mythos Map without needing me to hold your hand like a little baby.

Right?"

"Yeaagh mum."

"Never complain about my French again."

"I'll go and finish it."

"Just one more thing. Are you doing your noir voice in the write up?"

"Nah, I'm doing Iomedaen."

"That's worse, you understand that's worse right?"

"It's called reverse mimesis, make sure to include yours in your chart."

Executive Summary

It was a cold and rainy night

Nope no noir.

Executive Summary

At the time of the incident Suicide Set was distributed across Earth θ, and maintaining Helot covers. To maintain stealth and due to the apparent safety provided by it and our innate natures, we followed a frankly lax security posture. 

On or slightly before 13.0.13.12.5 2 Chikchan 18 Sotz' a mage war broke out, and unknown actors contracted with Helot assassins.

Consequently, Ace-detective* and Ribbon were forced to proc rez under circumstances that resulted in entanglement with the Helot authorities non-magical law enforcement.

Additionally, Blood-bat** was forced to retreat to a secondary crypt, and, most seriously, an attempt on Exo was misaimed — intercepted at the Park boundary, resulting in Sin involvement and attention from the Yamen, including her family and the Fèngsī.

Due to good execution of prophecy guided scatter and regroup tactics we were able to escape largely unscathed and leverage the chaos of the mage war to make new friends profitable connections with the Flying Dutchman, and strengthen our link to several members of Exo's extended family including pengTheorist. Combined with confirmation of the magical fundamentals for project bird-spirk this conflict has been net positive but reveals multiple weaknesses and potential missed opportunities.

* me
**

Why is his transparent and bigger than mine. I mean E, lol but aside from his dick.

*bzz*

tag

Ooh break time. I can have little glowficing as treat. Just a little, and only in the main continuity I don't need the backstory to be longer than the actual plot.

Well I mean I do but I already count Worm. What I mean is I don't need to figure out a way to fictionalize our entire induction for Chase given that me and Bob don't show up on screen. Still so happy he wanted us to base a character on him though.

By Talos this can't be happening.

"I finished my map did you finish—

Crisse, that is a bad photo of me take it down."

"Ok, but will you let me take a better one later?"

"If you are a good girl and finish your report for mommy."
Is this really worth playing to her fetish? Too late now.

"Ok. Yay!"

Ok, right freeform anything that sticks out first then edit.

Recommendations Me:

Pistols aren't actually that hard to get for someone with my abilities, just bad to be caught with. This is octuply true for swords.

So get some ghost ones. Check

Possibly get some more modren magically concealed ones? Ask Chase or see if Zoey can just help me with making a highland coat.

Can't really be sniper proof without a ton of extra magic, but also procing rez is like. Ok so I am not happy my body is fucking male again, but I don't actually stay dead and looping back to this thing being weird thing. No one who actually knows what they are doing should expect that to even be worth trying.

So to state the obvious this wasn't a serious attempt to take us off the board.

But, you don't get actual snipers with magic buffs, serious explosives, some idea of where to look for the Park etc. without some sort of idea what you are doing.

Recommendations Me:
...

Figure out what the fuck.

Like really this looks like an attempt to put us on the board. Of course that means one of two things. Either whoever did it is confident that we will consider this a favor when the dust is settled. Plausible, given how it has gone so far, but even given magic bs a bit odd they didn't just talk to us.

Or we will have some fun. Either way works.

Pirates! Ok so, after the after action report for the case of the lost office worker I already have a system for tracking next action followups for things that came up on ops. So I don't need to put down having one of those so I don't forget about the pirates.

Unless I forgot to actually read it.

Chase did I actually talk to the pirates about the money laundering?

Still waiting for the phone to be delivered to them, just like the last five times you asked. And yes it has interplanar routing and full scramble just like it did the last 5 times.

Oh.

You did good though, this is a massive haul for the Lilitu.

Yay I'm getting a good grade in being a monster I mean mobster a thing that is normal to want and possible to achieve.

I mean I know what happens to Umberals who get a bad grade.

Fuck, I've been the person delivering the consequences of a bad grade in money laundering.

I mean I at least assume that is what was going on. They don't pay me to ask questions. I mean they do, but there is a limit. I read the too fucking clever inscription.

I was like. Doing something.

Oh right, this  this is part where I bitch about people not delegating enough that's in all the example incident reports. Except maybe that one in Osirion about the shadows.

I should just re-read that whole thread.

No. Wait. Report.

Suggestions: Grunkle Lil

Good delegation, Chase best seneschal. Um, maybe a bit more intelligence sharing between sets. Big fan of opsec but a mage war is the sort of thing the Lilu as a whole should see coming.

Suggestions: Exo

Read the sequences.

No seriously.

But also what we already talked about re your family.

And keep it up with your Mythos mapping :)

Oh right delegation. Talk to me and/or  頤和散人 before talking to the rest of your side of the family.

Does cousin Yihe realize we're cousins? What with the whole elopement thing, I don't actually know if that whole side of the family knows.

Maybe we should tell them. Its not like they can take it worse than Maman............

Yeah no.

At least she knows Lilith is still alive

Suggestions Chase:

Get me a highlander jacket. Better yet give us the resources to make highlander doctors versions of accessories.

We need to get back in practice with item crafting, and you can source the raw materials. Then we can all have one and maybe even be able to give a few to whoever you need to reward or bribe. Doing a set of 7 is only slightly harder than doing 4.

Consider updating your crypt wards. To be fair I don't know exactly how the fuckers got in, but Lilith is good at warding and you live, lol, in a fuckin graveyard, I'm a necromancer. 

Ok that's the tell your boss to give you more resources bit done.

Going back to me.

Delegation for me:

Maybe get Lilith to help with some wards and mythcrafting on my house?

Most of my stuff seems hard to delegate. I'm not letting someone else do her eye.

And also like its hard to find people I trust.

It does feel like that's getting better. I think its just because with 40ish years to recover from high school and the curse no longer working against us I'm decent at making friends.

Alternatively maybe the curse is actively helping us when we are friends with each other and making mutual friends.

But that's just a theory, a peng theory.

I do feel like there is something obvious I'm missing though.

Like recovery help probably counts as delegation. But its not like I'm going to do some Tony Soprano bullshit and start doing therapy while my entire life is build around being part of a goddam criminal conspiracy. 

Like even with magically enhanced full disk encryption, and a story that reads like larp bullshit I'm still a bit nervous doing this report.

Besides half of what I'd want is just drugs.

Hey are y'all done with work so we can do a watch party or something to test Ellen's new laptop's streaming. We can do Dog Day Afternoon or Kpop Demon Hunters, not sure which era we're all feeling.

Almost! I reread Chelcon recently, so I was trying the Incident Report format. I think I like it, but I'm not as used to it as Dresden/Murderbot type writeups.

Isn't it pretty funny for a necromancer to use Iomedae's style?

Yeah, also you're a life saver I knew I was forgetting something obvious in the delegation section.

Zombie Army.

Done! Now that we've all seen it in cinema I was thinking we'd pull a Noort and watch The Last Act as a group.

Obviously they sing along, what are you, stupid?