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Harper Lebedev doesn't want to die, not really.
The idea of being dead sounds kind of peaceful, especially if anyone who believes in a nice afterlife is right, but all the ways to hasten your way there seem really unpleasant. Some of them are supposed to be fairly quick and painless, if you don't fuck them up, but her mother is a phlebotomist who has spent enough time in hospital ICUs for Harper to have a good idea of how possible it is for people to fuck up suicide!
So it doesn't matter if she has the occasional suicidal ideation; she's not going to do it, so she doesn't need to tell anyone who's going to be a mandatory reporter and get her involuntary psychiatric treatment that she doesn't want or need.
She's fine. Everything's fine. Everything's normal.
Until it isn't.
The pink-violet text is--evidence that she's dreaming, probably, or hallucinating? She tries to test it, but every result of every test suggests that this is, in fact, her new reality.
...She should be elated. She can do anything she wants, basically!
But...people don't get old and die, in a game like this. Nothing in any of this suggests that she's going to, at any point, just--go to sleep and never wake up. Ever.
Except...
Except this one weird perk. "From Harp to Bell." She doesn't know if it would constitute dying or not.
But even if it didn't, if an Isabella-personality wanted to live, that would be an improvement.
Years ago, her mother gave her a piece of advice; to create a bucket list, and if she's ever seriously considering suicide, to do absolutely everything on that list first.
She does all of the things.
They're fun. Wonderful, even. She's glad she did them.
But they don't make her feel less tired.
And if she's going to turn her life over to someone else, she should do it now, before she complicates what they'll be inheriting even more than she already has.
She spends the point.
