(And Luthien, if El looks, has an exceptionally odd look on her face.)

"Lu...?"

She shakes her head - though her gaze darts to Jialin and Shinta.

"Girls, can you give us some time alone?" she says to the other two.

She nods and efficiently packs up her stuff. "If you need me, I'll be hunting down references," she says, "Over in the chemistry aisle."

She packs less efficiently and stands. " - Can I join you?"

"You're El's minion, and El's my ally. So, yes, and you'll be carrying my books."

Nod! And she bows to El. "Let me know if you need me for anything, ma'am."

"I will. Thank you, Jialin."

"Thank you, ma'am." And out after Shinta.

And El curls up next to Lu.

"Lu. What's wrong?"

- She looks away, shaking a bit. 

"I love you. Please let me help."

Unhappy noise.

"It's - it's nothing," she says, like she hasn't been avoiding being alone with El since the day before. 

"It's not nothing, Lu, you're hurting and- and- and that's not nothing."

"I - "

"It's not the kind of hurt you can fix. It can't be set right. So it's - "

"It's nothing. I just - I need to cope."

Very determined snuggles. "Even if that's true, you don't have to cope by yourself."

El feels safe, like no one else ever has or ever will. Safer than when she's alone.

 That's the problem. 

Because Luthien wants to talk about it. 

Because Luthien will start screaming and never stop if she talks about it. If she relaxes. If she's safe. 

Because there's been a scream boiling up in her chest ever since she was born, and she screamed herself into exhaustion again and again as a child until she learned to wrap it in layers and layers of shields, before she learned that screaming isn't safe. 

Because that scream is a hundred voices worse, now. 

"I can't talk about it," she says, voice ragged and raw like she was already screaming. Then, burning and boiling from her mouth - "You saw it - its hunger - "

Hunger. The mawmouth. The way Lu was after- oh fuck. El really should have kept her promise.

"That's not- not all you are, Lu, you're so much more than that, you're so precious and wonderful and I am never going to let that go, never let you let that part of you go."

She starts crying. 

Then: "They're still screaming."

"I'll make them them stop. I know a lot of ways to kill things, I can kill- part of someone."

"I can't - "

There's a flicker of terrible hope in her. 

"I can't think about it, it won't stop, I'll scream and never ever stop again - "

No no no no no Lu shouldn't feel like that only reason she screams is when El makes her. El is going to fix this. Most of what she knows isn't really finely-targeted, though, lots of wide area, blanket sort of stuff, city-destroyers, hard to take back. But can't wait, need to help- That old sleep spell, from the French enchantress's grimoire, very specific targeting conditions she can probably tweak it through the collar.

"Lu, I'm going to fix this." And she starts casting.

She curls into her sister, shaking. 

El pets her fiercely, protectively as she casts. She knows where her sister is, knows who her sister is, everything else there, everyone else there will sleep unwaking, slumber eternal until El's will calls otherwise.