...He's not actually sure how praying works. He's never tried getting a god's attention before, for all the obvious reasons. Iomedae would know, presumably, but she's not here. 

He - can try just holding up clearly, in his thoughts, the parts where it feels like Aroden is...someone who would be his ally, in a world where it was even a coherent concept for humans to ally with gods. (This maybe has the advantage that, if in fact he's completely wrong about Aroden, it won't work.) 

A world for humans, shaped by humans, with a god on their side. The wonders of a civilization that becomes possible when people are safe and have space to invest and invent and explore and build, when they aren't backed into corners by the desperation or by the endless day-by-day struggle just to grow enough food to stay alive. A city in the afterlife, a haven for mortal souls even after death. A god who wants humanity to be stronger, to never stop growing, even though no one knows, yet, where that path will reach. 

A man who became a god, because it was what the world needed. Who figured out how to take everything that he cared about, all the things that matter to people, the lofty dreams and the mundane day-to-day needs, and hold onto that even as He became something entirely different. Who left that door open, so that others might follow. Who still holds that bridge, communicating with Iomedae as an ally. 

A man who became immortal millennia before he became a god, because a human lifetime wasn't enough to fix everything, and just building glorious cities in the afterlife wasn't enough, not when there were still starving children in the mortal world. Who explored the stars, looking for - something - it's obvious what, or it would be to Altarrin, you go search for a way to fix everything that wouldn't come at such high a cost... 

A young man who worked and fought and strained toward a better world, and - made mistakes, and lost everything for it - and found himself in the ruins of his world, and kept going, because - even if things had been lost that were irreversible, even if some scars in the world would never ever be all right -

- eventually the ashes drift back to the ground, and the sun rises, and we build anew - 

You can't just walk away.

(He's crying, again, which he would be annoyed about if it were getting in his way but he's not sure that it is, right now.) 

He wishes his world had this too. He's - jealous, of the resources Iomedae has, that mean she can afford to be Good - there's a flinch of defensiveness there, where he expects her to be critical of the decisions he made when he didn't see any other way, even though he predicts that in many specific cases he would agree with her, that he could have done better, wishes he had done better - 

- but Iomedae's world didn't always have a god on the side of humanity and civilization. It only has that because Aroden, presumably, looked at the state of the world, and saw that it wasn't acceptable, and tried for millennia to change it, and eventually saw that this was what it would take. 

Altarrin recognizes that. Altarrin made a promise to his own world - and to all the worlds, though at the time he didn't yet know there was more than one - and he made mistakes, and lost everything, and when the ashes drifted back to the ground and the sun rose again, he kept going. He's - not very good at it, yet - to Aroden he must seem very young, which is a bizarre thought. He's still making mistakes. Killing Iomedae was one of them. Building an empire out of mind control was definitely another. 

He's not sure if he would ever have succeeded at what Aroden did here, if he had been alone. But - there's something very simple there, and he thinks he sees it, and he thinks it's the same very simple thing that Aroden saw, and the same thing Iomedae sees. That he's - that they're - not done until everyone, everywhere, is okay. 

He's going to help Iomedae with this war either way. He doesn't need to fully trust her, or fully trust Aroden, to make that call. 

But...if there's more trust than that to be had, then he wants to reach for it. If the shape of an Altarrin, the promise he made to his world and the lengths to which he's willing to go for it, is - a shape Aroden can work with, as an ally - then he thinks he would want to offer that. Maybe here it's not an impossible dream, to have that, and - 

- he's so lonely - 

Aroden's attention is scattered in a hundred directions, even moreso than usual - trying to make sense of the noise, running aspects and shards of Himself that He usually draws on less, because allocating attention to making sense of the world as a human does is usually much less efficient than the native Foresight of gods - but there is always a fragment of Him watching the mortal world, alert for the brighter glow when they angle themselves toward Him and call out in prayer. 

Usually the spark is less bright than that, and usually it's not coming from a mortal he could previously barely see at all and who was previously throwing off ripples of Foresight noise in all directions. 

Surprise is different, to a god's mind, habitually spread out in a dozen directions, but the effect is similar: this is new, this is different, this is something worth paying attention to with more of Himself rather than responding on existing patterns. The shard of Himself watching is one that usually handles Commune requests and the prayers of clerics, cannot actually make sense of what the human mind is asking for. 

Aroden pulls back more of Himself from the everything-else, and shifts a much bigger fraction of His attention to the mortal's prayer. 

...Human but not mortal, is the first thing He picks up, which is fascinating. 

And calling out to him like - 

- like an echo of Himself.

Aroden can recognize that even from this vantage point. It's not bright because this is a prayer of desperate, screaming need; it's bright because it's aimed incredibly precisely and directly at...the core, simple thing. (Which when translated into Foresight is in fact quite complex, because 'what humans want' and 'what humanity needs to flourish' are very big question, and so the implementation of it explodes in fractal detail. But the core of it was very simple, when Aroden was human, and He remembers.) 

...also even from this distance, He can tell that the human is terrified. Reaching out anyway, (mostly) unflinching, because - relentless determination, hope, a new path opening that might be better and come at a more acceptable cost - but terrified nonetheless. Of Aroden, of gods in general - of being crushed for inconveniencing distant greater powers, or, worse, of being boxed in - but the human reaches out all the same, because the upside would be worth it. 

The shards of Aroden that remember being human recognize that as well, and it's almost not a decision, to reach out in return, it's almost a process that just happens, like the reflection of sunlight from a mirror - 

(There is a moment of decision, of consideration, because this is expensive and because it casts quite a significant shadow on the human's Foresight path ahead - it's not good for human minds to interact with gods, even when it's Aroden and he is pulling the humanlike shards of Himself forward and being very very careful - but it's almost trivial to decide that the cost is worth paying.) 

Aroden reaches out, and shelters the spark in a piece of Himself that isn't very specialized for the purpose - He hadn't figured out how to implement that, yet, the Starstone is better at it now - but that can at least touch without destroying. 

It feels like the cornerstone holding him to his body was pulled out and now he's falling into the sun, except it's something much stranger, too far outside what his mind can make sense of to even parse as pain, and Altarrin can't even have a justified panic attack about this because that would require being aware of his body. 

- and then there's a pocket of - not safety, but at least some minimal shelter, Something holding him like a child might very carefully hold an ant to examine it, and his mind is still the currents of impossibly-bright magic are still blasting him but the worst of it is instead routed around that shield. 

Aroden? he tries to say, or maybe just think. 

A sense of - shifting, shuffling which exact part of the inside of the sun is facing him directly...and then, carefully and effortfully: 

I know you. 

And there are flashes of...memory, maybe, though rotated and reflected and warped, as though images had to be translated to some other sense he doesn't have and then translated back and the mapping is imperfect. 

  His city in Axis, bright and full and and glorious, and nothing but the foundation of it is His doing directly, all He has to offer is space to work and the rest is human hands, and not just humans but dozens of other kinds of people, safe and flourishing forever, writing their own futures, building and creating and living and

     coils spinning and a glass bulb lighting and

         a place like a library but more, and the not-voice of another god, translated lossily back into language, of course I have all of your records, Abadar says, I save every work of mortal hands, that none of it might ever be lost" and putting the pieces together after so very long and

          fragments that aren't a god's memories at all, that He brought with him since the very beginning an underwater city a voice that isn't human and it says you care so much, maybe too much, men like you and I should not rule, I have seen what becomes of us when we do 

    flying across an ocean and seeing nothing left of the first sanctuary he had tried to build, everything lost, a mistake that could never be undone - but not the memory of it, and never the promise, a vow that can't be taken back because it wasn't so much a choice in the first place as just - the shape he is and always was and

  never to walk away never to give up to return again and again no matter the cost no matter how long it takes, not until everything is fixed and everyone is all right 

and he thought he was alone, for such a very long time, and in a sense he was, but in another sense it's impossible to be alone in this mission, because most people can't and shouldn't be Aroden - most people can't and shouldn't be Altarrin - but everyone, everywhere, can want to live and be safe and happy, if they have the space and

look, look at the world from the angle a god can see, there are so many lights, there are so many sparks that will take the air Aroden can give them as fuel and use it to fight for the right thing, whatever that means to them, or at least what they think is right, but if you give them the space they'll take it, if you unblock the path they will follow it, and so none of them are alone 

...Slowing, backing up, shuffling again. A hint of frustration, He wants Altarrin to - understand what he has, what he's always had, but it's so difficult to convey without hurting him. 

You were always our ally. 

You never needed to ask, or to offer. 

The shape you are and always were is enough. 

Do you understand? 

Maybe????? He got some of that???????

It's just. It's very hard to talk to the inside of the sun, see. It feels like being hit with concepts that are also made of superheated plasma and it's shredding his thoughts while he tries to have them.

And he's - not the right shape, actually, yet, to face his own reflection across a gulf of worlds and godhood, he's trying to re-orient but he's mostly in too much not-pain-just-intense-something to pull everything together. 

But. 

he's 

glad 

not 

alone

Aroden doesn't normally try to show human minds His thoughts that directly! This is why!

But he wanted Altarrin to see it. That he was right, that there was something better, something worth reaching for. And wrong, that he didn't already have it, right there, where he would find it as soon as he looked. Aroden is proud and grateful and [UNPRINTABLE GODEMOTIONS] that Altarrin found the strength to look. 

Most people can't really live in a world where they're alone. It doesn't work, and they find the paths to follow where they aren't. Minds in the shape that - both of them are - are constrained in different ways, and they won't - can't - give up just because being alone is very very hard.

But still, even for minds of the shape that can't give up no matter how alone they are, it's really so much better to have this instead. 

...and Aroden is going to put Altarrin back, now, because He thinks the important parts were conveyed and Altarrin can figure out the implementation details from the human side of things, and that was already a much longer conversation than is really a good idea. Aroden is apologetic about it. 

Altarrin seems to be...on the floor? Also his head hurts a spectacular amount and he kind of feels like he's dying. 

- not alone - 

He...can very effortfully manage to whisper "help" repeatedly and hope one of the construct-servants hears him and tells someone who will know what to do. 

The construct-servant in the room with him is trying to help him back into his chair, (unsuccessfully, as it's not actually very strong at all) but seems to have also contacted someone because a pair of soldiers rushes into the room shortly.

"...Healer!"

It takes a while.

(Alfirin has authorized access to this mansion for only a small number of people, recuperating soldiers plus a page for communications plus the senior command, and Alfirin is not immediately contactable. Marit has a permanent Telepathic Bond with Iomedae who has one with Alfirin for emergencies, but Iomedae isn't answering which isn't an emergency, they're probably just up to secret shit, but.)

The end result is that Karlenius comes in to heal Altarrin himself. His Lay On Hands handles exhaustion and dazedness and staggeredness and deeper-than-injury damage, if Altarrin has any of those problems. 

This maybe helps at all but not very much! Altarrin is still in agonizing pain and not particularly able to string together thoughts. 

He can hang onto one thought, which is that he should tell someone - something - and he's trying, but he mostly can't focus on what the thing is and also cannot speak very comprehensibly. He mumbles some things. 'Aroden' is in there somewhere. 

" - you had a vision from Aroden? Is there - something He needs us to do -"

This is an unfairly complicated question. Altarrin is way too impaired to simultaneously hold onto his fragmented memory of the thing that just happened, and also make inferences from it to determine whether it has actionable implications right now for Iomedae's people. Probably Iomedae would...want to know about it...? 

He tries anyway and manages to at least get out Iomedae's name. 

(If anyone thinks to read his mind, he's clinging very determinedly to a single thought, which is that Aroden said 'I know you'...or maybe 'I recognize you' it wasn't really in language...and this is important and it means he's safe and he can trust them and this is very good. It probably also means other things but that's harder to figure out right now.) 

- yeah Marit will try to read his mind, given the givens. 

They are TRYING to contact Iomedae but she is UNCONTACTABLE, which is not rare and not an emergency though in the moment it's really inconvenient.

"- he's thinking, that Aroden, recognized him, and that means he can trust us -"

      "Well, he can," says Karlenius.

"One assumes he wouldn't have believed that without Aroden personally saying so. Do you think he needs more medical attention? Iomedae recovered on her own but - she's Iomedae -" and she was, in fact, concealing significant impairment for the next four or five hours at least. 

        "I don't think Aroden would've caused him lasting damage, that seems - out of character -"

So they just get him as comfortable as they can in bed, with Marit departing the mansion so he can ping Iomedae periodically until - 

:Oh good you're back, Aroden sent a vision to Altarrin and he asked for you.:

- Iomedae relays that to Alfirin and doesn't bother letting go of her hand yet, in case Alfirin has the spell slots free to drop Iomedae off at the mansion with a Dimension Door. If not, she'll walk on over, that doesn't sound like a screaming emergency even if it does sound - surprising, and important -

She hates when things happen with suspicious Timing like this, even if this time in particular prophecy is fuzzy enough that it's probably not Anybody's doing - or, obviously it was in a sense Aroden's doing but he didn't pick the timing -

Dimension door

"I'll... stay inside the Mansion for now. In case you need me." - nope can't end that sentence there - "...for detect thoughts or dream interpretation or anything."

Iomedae acknowledges this with a curt nod and then rushes to Altarrin's side. "How long ago was this?"

          "He called for help about six minutes ago - we couldn't reach you -"

"Off-plane, sorry. I don't think it'll help, but you should heal him just in case -"

          "I tried that. It indeed did not much help."

"Have you mindread him -"

           "Marit has it up."

                      "I haven't gotten anything urgent or actionable," Marit says.

And she sits down at Altarrin's bedside, and speaks softly. "Altarrin? It's Iomedae."

Altarrin is very practiced at thinking through pain, and - it seems like more things are wrong with his head right now than just the headache - but six minutes is still long enough that he's dragged his thoughts into slightly more coherent order. 

"Iomedae," he says, and - wow, talking is bad, actually - it's okay, they're reading his mind (which is fine because he trusts them) and he's going to focus on at least getting the thoughts into some kind of order. 

He thinks he decided to pray to Aroden. To test something? ...to test whether he was right that Aroden was the kind of god he could be allies with, because it would be very important, if that were true, it would mean - too hard to follow that thought right now but he remembers thinking it mattered, that there was - something more to reach for, maybe, than just helping Iomedae with her war.  

- he mostly didn't expect anything to happen but it felt like a cheap test, at the time, he is sort of reconsidering that now but he did...learn something...

The memory of the not-really-a-conversation with Aroden is even more jumbled but he holds it up.

Aroden recognized him, it was - like looking into a reflection - Aroden said they were already allies, said they always would have been because he's - the very simple thing - wanted to tell him he wasn't alone here - 

(It's straining his mind badly to try to remember it but he keeps pushing, he thinks Iomedae would want to know...) 

- a shining city, a spinning wire lighting - what people build when given space for it - never really alone if the thing you want is the very simple thing - Aroden says most people can't exist if they're– no, that's not it, most people will live in a world where they're not alone, won't see the paths where they would be, even if those are the only paths to - fixing everything - 

- flying over an ocean and nothing left, except it's tangled up it's the same thing as the not-memory that he never saw of Urtho's Tower going up in fire and destruction, whiting out and when the sun rose it was over ashes and ruins and everything he had built gone and - never walk away - rebuild, over and over, come back over and over, never to give up until everything is fixed and everyone is okay because a promise that they can't break because it was always - the shape Aroden recognizes...

...not alone... 

“We don’t follow Aroden, He and we both follow - a third, indestructible thing… and no one who sees it is ever alone -”

....Yes. That. 

(He's crying, quietly, mostly not aware of this at all.) 

- feels like he's forgetting something...

Oh. Right. He didn't scry Velgarth, or write a letter to the Emperor, he did this instead, and now he's apparently incapable of remembering any of the reasons why he thought Velgarth was probably urgent, and he definitely cannot either write a letter or do the scrying-technique until he feels less like he's dying. 

“Fair enough, I’ll draft - my letter - and we can plan for tomorrow. You’ll be out of it for the rest of the day, probably.

…..we took Urgir, and beat back Tar-Baphon’s relief army, with about eight hundred dead, forty inside the city. Because of you.”