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Lucy attempts to solve post-Razmir Ustalav
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- And that is enough time for everything to happen.

On a distant world, a green, four-armed alien picks himself up after his head was disintegrated and stands up again.

On another, soldiers on both sides of a battlefield torn and scarred by the fire of bursting shells open their eyes to see the mud already covering them, and scream for their friends to dig them out.

In a third, a trio of elves reform out of carrion-picked bones to stare at each other and wonder.

- and somewhere in the world stillborn babies cry for the first time, and somewhere doctors weary and dejected from losing a fight against death find their patients hale and healthy, and somewhere fresh widows haven't had a chance yet to make it past denial break into a smile -

If Lucy wanted there to be worlds in which magic was not known, there aren't, any more.

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And then the weight in Count Ristomaur Tiriac's arms is MUCH HEAVIER and also the center of mass is in a completely different place. 

Lucy squawks and flails a little bit, because actually she has never been decapitated before. Her throat sliced to the bone, yes, but always before her vertebrae had remained, connecting head and body; she hadn't had to grow a new one and deal with a situation into which someone had placed a head alone.

(Lucy had no idea that such worlds existed. If she did she would regret only being unable to be in more places at once--)

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Gah! He will instinctively adjust his arms for the weight, to try to end up carrying her without her falling.

"Miss Whitman!"

She is NAKED. He will avert his eyes.

(They are presently outside the royal castle in Ardeal, heading for where two lantern archons, a celestial crocodile, a wolf and two adventurers are holding the bridge. Arrows are still whistling past them, if not as well aimed - Tiriac has been shot quite a lot, which of course doesn't bother him much because he's an adventurer.)

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She glows at him anyway. 

"--We have to go back, all my stuff was in my pockets and some of it was important." 

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"Understood."

He'll swoop towards the other adventurers. "Miss Whitman was briefly dead and we lost her body."

Kais nods, picks up the crocodile, and the team reverses direction, wolf in tow.

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(no one happened to bring a scroll of Disguise Other, but de Caserta can dig a spare shift out of her Bag of Holding as soon as, uh, they are not in combat round time.)

(speaking of which, she can get an Aid and a Protection from Evil as partial protection for her lost spells!)

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Thanks, that's very helpful!!!

(Lucy can help with getting out of combat round time by informing the enemies arrows that they are Not Allowed To Do That Shit, Thanks.)

And since friendliness time is officially over, they don't need to use the window Count Tiriac jumped out of, Lucy can just punch directly through some walls! With big ol' crab claws! This provides a much higher-bandwidth form of ingress. 

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So it is a giant crab monster as well as the rest of the party that crashes into the room with Lucy's mutilated torso and a lot of adventurer-tier soldiers who were in the process of stripping it of its magic items are Very, Very Surprised!

The usual responses - Dismissal, arrows, swords, Smite Good and Smite Chaos, will of course be tried.

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Dismissal completely fails to do anything, on account of Lucy’s excellent Will save.

The other attacks do, technically, do anything! Just not anything Lucy has to care about, on account of how none of the things is an antimagic field and therefore wounds flow off her like water from a duck's back. 

She picks up her own dismembered corpse. Has the vest of pockets been damaged? Did it look like anyone was rifling through the pockets? 

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No (magic items are functionally indestructible) and yes (people have been looting her magic items!)

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"Give me my stuff back," she says disapprovingly, in what is recognizably the voice of the decapitated woman. 

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... A Smite Good full-attack by a very scary antipaladin had no effect earlier even though she detected as Good, right? And she's been letting arrows bounce off her hide and everything?

Yeah, they will withdraw and call for reinforcements, and, yes, leave her corpse and her stuff behind as they go. (Or at least most of her stuff. It's hard to be sure about all of it.)

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She can check for all the Neathy objects she was specifically worried about these guys getting their hands on. 

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They've run off with her rings and her amulet, because those came off easily, but that's it.

No, wait, they've also got her bag of toes.

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“What the fuck! Why did they take the toes!” she exclaims, having shrunk down to rummage through her pockets.

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"Most bags of holding contain gold, Miss Whitman."

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“—Well I suppose they’re in for an unpleasant surprise then!” she says, bursting into giggles. “Do you think they’ve got far? I don’t want everyone to have to chop off a toe again.”

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"I doubt it," says Count Ristomaur "expert tracker and enthusiastic huntsman for multiple hundreds of years" Tiriac. He will go retrieve the bag while Lucy puts her CLOTHES and remaining magic items back on, how about that.

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"The rings are probably higher priority, getting another toe off of everyone seems awkward but straightforward..."

Lucy puts on her clothes and magic items and starts rummaging around the disarrayed office for containers. Wooden boxes would be ideal, but she can use other things, and under the circumstances she feels zero guilt in appropriating these people's possessions. 

(When Tiriac gets back he may be faced with a different problem, i.e. Lucy's CURRENT body is now clothed, but her PREVIOUS body is totally bare.)

 

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It takes him, his wolf, and their massive numbers of buffs about six rounds to return with the bag and her rings.

(The corpse is much less of an issue, since it's in multiple pieces and covered in blood. He runs into corpses like those a lot, they aren't people.)

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The corpse is even more dismembered when he comes back than it was when he left. 

Lucy has burned Correspondence-sigils into the lids of a number of wooden boxes, and into each one she has placed a lump of flesh. 

She offers him one. "Will you hold onto this for me? In case anything happens, and I get stuck, and my family comes for me--I'm not the only one who does life-light." 

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"Of course, Miss Whitman." He is touched.

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Lucy stuffs the rest of the boxes into her pockets, and then speaks a handful of words of Correspondence, which together make the rest of her corpse go up in bright blue flames, vaporizing the flesh off of--

--what turn out to be bones made entirely of the same diamond she can turn the rest of herself into. 

Lucy starts shoving those in pockets as well. 

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And then disappears from mortal eyes!

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" - Miss Whitman?"

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