The worst part is that there's no voice in her head telling her to do it.
She rises to her feet within the dark crystal chamber. She is exhausted. She does not let this slow her movements.
The door slides open on her approach, and outside, the guard (in his glittering armor, long gun by his side) salutes her.
Her heart is pounding. As usual, it does not quite feel real that the killing is done for now. How many times during this last shift did she nearly err? A single mistake, and the enemy could get close enough --
No, she knows that there is no way to defend a city but unbroken vigilance. She doesn't need to remind herself.
She does not let it show on her face. Any of it. Her posture is strict and elegant, and her cheeks do not flush. She only gives a soft, serene smile to her guard, and nods.
Then she is down the lift from the top of the tower, and out upon the street. Home, next. To Lynia, and Eve.
The streets wind between corkscrew spires and gleaming domes, all glass and crystal. It is a wealthy part of the city, here toward the center, so the jewels upon Teresa's fingers and the diamond on its silver chain about her neck and the strings of pearls around her wrists draw only admiration and envy, not anything darker. She does not really like wearing all this jewelry, but there is nothing to be done. As far as technicalities go, it is only the control gems on her fingers which are really crucial, but the others are symbols of her station and her status. And she must never, ever allow appearances to slip.
She reaches her home easily. It is tall and elegant, and bears three towers, one for each of them, because she bought it years ago with the first of her generous pay, and she had not realized then how closely she and Lynia and Eve would depend upon each other. How rarely they would sleep apart.
The door knows her, so it slides open, and she enters.
Lynia is in the kitchen. She is taking clean cookware from the washbasin and tucking it away in the white cabinets that line the circular room.
Teresa closes on her, sweeps her up in her arms, and holds her tightly. Takes her wrists, and stops her moving. She may not fight on the battlefield herself, but she was trained in martial arts nonetheless. She knows how to bind an opponent.
Lynia squeaks, clutching the glass she's holding.
Okay, yeah. Teresa's mad. She...doesn't mind too much, though.
"Lynia, why are you doing strenuous things? I told you not to be on your feet without supervision."
What if she'd grown faint, and fallen, and struck her head? Then --
There is panic at that thought. Teresa does not allow it to surface.
It's true that Lynia's illness has grown better. But that is not excuse enough.
Lynia blinks, and cranes her neck to look up at Teresa. "Eve left a bit ago. She's not here."
Teresa frowns. That's unusual. Eve giving up time she could have spent with Lynia?
She shakes her head, and squeezes Lynia more tightly.
She releases her sister from her arms, takes the glass from her and sets it on the counter, and keeps hold of Lynia's wrist. Drags her along, up the stairs to the towers.
When they reach the bedroom that is nominally Lynia's, the one where all three of them most often spend their nights, Teresa takes her sister by the shoulders and pushes her gently inside.
"She didn't say." Lynia looks down, and fidgets uncomfortably. It's only an impression, and she doesn't want to assume, and she doesn't want to violate Eve's privacy in case her assumption is correct, and she doesn't want to make it sound like it's Teresa's fault, but --
Concealing things from Teresa isn't going to work anyway.
"I...think she's feeling bad. I mean, you -- you know how hard it is for her."
Teresa draws her lips to a line. "I see."
Now why would that cause her to depart and go God knows where, instead of cuddling with Lynia until she feels better as usual?
"I mean... Look, Sis, you were being really harsh with her yesterday. I don't think it's any surprise that what you said hurt. If it was me, I'd..."
But Teresa would not say anything harsh to Lynia. Not unless it was purely to protect her. She loves Eve dearly, but her sister is another matter.
"Perhaps," she says. "Well, I am going to go and find her." She tilts her head. "Apologize, maybe. But you will be staying here, and you will not be putting away any dishes, or doing anything else that will get you hurt. I'll release you once I'm home again."