ridiculous premise #76
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"Powerful priests of the gods can control the weather, right? Possibly you should do that. Air pollution's bad for people. …and it might give us away."

 

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Can control weather fix smoke? They consult some priests and druids; The druids say that rain will fix smoke, by putting out fires and by washing it out of the air and into the ground where it will revitalize the earth. They try it; Vigil is still smokey, though less so, and the frequent rains aren't reassuring to the residents who were worried about ill omens. Alfirin warns that the flue gasses from industrial processes probably aren't great for the groundwater either, and the last few wells in Vigil are bricked up and replaced by a handful more priests with create water duties.

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They have working radios. It'd be really nice to have working radios at the Worldwound. Iomedae proposes that they set up some very good transmitters and then have things Cheliax will be too scared to let their population hear playing on all the radios, thereby enabling radio adoption in all free countries and letting all the unfree ones shoot themselves in the foot. ….Earth metaphor.

 

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Sure. Once they've figured out radios at all, it's not that hard to scale up production - let the Abadarans sell the technique - and then build some broadcast towers for Iomedae's plan.

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…Iomedae was kind of expecting some pushback on this suggestion because Lastwall is not America and doesn't seem to want to be. Cool. They should do some audience message testing but she's pretty sure that what the people want is adventure stories, told in installments by an announcer who does really good voices and sound effects, and group prayer, and news, and sports broadcasts, and an advice column, and after dark an advice column that touches on marital matters. …the obvious thing to start with for Radio Free Avistan is the stories of the Shining Crusade, isn't it, it exists pre-dramatized in workable installments. 

 

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Possibly they should sell radios everywhere while initially only transmitting the sports broadcasts, and then introduce all the rest and force Cheliax to spend its time and state capacity cracking down on a technology that's easy to hide and easy to smuggle and even possible to build at home, which they're desperate to censor because it's possible to use to hear the story of Chelish heroes fighting in the Shining Crusade, or else to let it slide and let them talk directly into every Chelish home. They should maybe get some Chelish expats for market research, if they're going to try this, because Iomedae might be misguessing what people in Cheliax will want to hear, but those are the broad strokes. 

 

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…also they'll have to pick a dialect that's mostly mutually comprehensible and they'll probably lastingly effect some linguistic unification of Avistan thereby and if this inveighs in a different political direction than 'appeal to people in Cheliax' then they can do localization for Cheliax with good placement of towers, effectively make the Chelish-accessible edition of Radio Free Avistan a bit different than the other ones.  

 

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…Iomedae turns out to have a lot of opinions about how to run programming for a radio station. She is open to learning they're stupid opinions, it's just, a radio station is such a multiplier on your ability to talk to people and people are almost always Good deep down once you talk to them.

 

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Nobody else knows anything about radio stations and they're not going to tell her her opinions on it are stupid. They're a bit confused about… sports…on the radio?

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The announcer describes what's happening at the sports event. You wouldn't think this would be appealing to people but it turns out it absolutely is. Iomedae's not sure how well this will translate to popular sports on Golarion because she's not sure what those are but you could certainly do live commentary on chariot racing, if that's still a thing, or blow-by-blows on show fights though she has mixed feelings about encouraging a popular interest in those. Iomedae does not herself particularly understand the appeal of sports but she's pretty sure they're important.

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…sports…events?

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So, in America, sixty to a hundred thousand people will gather in a stadium to watch two sports teams battle it out at American sports, which aren't very good because America doesn't have magic and no one is a legendary hero or can fly. They paint their faces and barely-dressed women do coordinated dances around the field. There will be fireworks. Fighter jets fly overhead. It's a big thing.

 

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...None of that makes any sense to them and they're not sure how they'd put it on the radio if it did. Which seems for the best, at least in the case of the prostitutes. But. They can try to find some competitive sports and talk about them on the radio if Iomedae is really sure it's a good idea? Maybe start with the games in Oppara, those sound a bit more like what Iomedae's talking about than anything else they know of.

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Oh, she's absolutely not sure it's a good idea. If no one's going to tell her that her opinions are stupid then she's going to have to learn this from trial and error and will presumably find that many of them were. But sports are really very popular on Earth and worth attempting to incorporate if they can figure out how. 

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Okay. They will let the Abadarans know that sharing radio technology is fine, and suggest to someone that they could broadcast what's happening in the games in Oppara and see if it takes off.

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Iomedae has listened to approximately half of one radio broadcast of sports but she can try to coach someone on how she thinks it's done. …also she should pick a new name. If she's going to be in the radio broadcast business and maybe even if she isn't. She gets the sense that people here do not name their children after their Goddess much.

 

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It stands out a little, yes.

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What wouldn't stand out. She has only been exposed to Arodenite naming traditions nine hundred years ago - where 'Iomedae' was definitely a family being showy with their knowledge of Azlanti, but not a statement beyond that - and to Earth naming traditions.

 

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They can get her a list - not a very good list, it's not like there's an international survey - of names across the Inner Sea. In Galt and Andoran naming your children 'Freedom' and 'Virtue' and 'Courage' and so on are popular.

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…you know what, sure. She will broadcast under the name Freedom. It speaks well of the human spirit, people naming their children Freedom. 

 

 

 


 

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"- magic items worn by a powerful adventurer are approximately indestructible, right?" says Iomedae to Alfirin. 

 

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"I think so. Why?"

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"What constitutes wearing something? …I want to figure out if the pilot of a single-engine small bomber can be wearing his airplane."

 

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"...are you trying to hint I should be spending more time on wizardry? I think it's - an approximation, not exactly 'things they are wearing' so much as 'things very close to their skin that move with them' - Maybe someone's found a way to make a rowboat that's as resistant to magic as the rower's clothes, but I doubt it."

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"I just didn't want to ask Lastwall in case it was a very obviously stupid question. They make such faces when I ask them obviously stupid questions. …jet packs, though, jet packs will probably count?"

 

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