"...I mean, if you want to poke my hand and then smack me, I can't say that sounds like the most fun I'll have all week, but it seems fine? Like—I don't know, it kinda sounds like you're doing the thing Sable was doing earlier with the tour guide and stuff, of deciding to pay the whole cost of something that's for both of us?"

"Huh."

That...

"I'm not sure. It would certainly be easier, but... not sure I wanna reward those instincts, y'know?"

"Well - is it a reward?"

"Dunno. I like violence but I like inflicting it on squirming, willing partners, so it's not a reward really. But it feels like... it might reinforce the instincts or something, if I let them act out fully? Like reciting something helping to remember it."

"I dunno. Maybe you're right. I guess... if it was me, and I wanted to feel like it was okay to do something, and every time I tried it it hurt a lot, that would also be sending myself the wrong message? But you're a different person than me."

"No you might be onto something."

She hums for a moment. "Maybe I need to do something that's neither of those? But what though?"

"Hmm... you could let yourself flinch instead of letting yourself smack me? But I don't know, that might make it harder to get used to it... I don't know. I'm thinking about what I'd do if it was me and—mostly what I'm remembering is, you know how when you get hurt there's like, the first second where it's like 'ouch!' but it's too fast and sudden to be very specific, and then you figure out where it hurts and how much and you can kind of, feel it out and get to know it and it's easier to handle? Maybe that's just me..."

"Huh. That... we have that thing, but I don't think that would work here?" She paces a bit. "Like the thing I'm trying to make happen is for my hindbrain to realize that contact, especially extended contact, won't lead to you doing anything bad."

"Sure. But like—it looks to me like you're... hurting and tensing up around it and forcing yourself into it harder? And that's kind of the opposite of the, sit with it and get to know it, thing. But I guess I don't know how to do that thing when it's more like holding a hot coal than like having a bad bruise, when it's, like, something you're doing that's hurting and not just something that's already there to hurt whether you poke it or not... I guess I could see if I can figure it out? Mm..."

She whirls and keeps pacing. "There's something there, I just don't know what. It's like... I know you're not my uncle, you're not going to grab me and hit me unless I ask nicely."

Kind of distractedly: "Yeah, I only want you to get hurt if you're having fun with it."

She catches his distracted tone, and turns toward him with a flirty smile. "I like the idea, though, we should come back to the topic of you hurting me in fun ways after we fix this."

"Ooh." That gets his attention.

"I'm a sadomasochist," she continues with a playful smirk. "If I'm in front and masturbating, our chest gets scratched up enough to last for days. Sure, I like hurting cuties, but I also like feeling pain. So we're definitely coming back to that once we make my trauma shut up."

"Fun! Okay, so how do we do that, then?"

"The crux of it is my hindbrain is scared you'll surprise me by grabbing me, dragging me somewhere, and hurting me. That's the thing I need to train out. The fact that you could, even if I consciously know you won't, is enough to trigger it. As long as there isn't physical contact, though, it doesn't trigger. Small children don't trigger it, 'cause I could pitch one across the room."

"Huh, so... what happens if you touch someone who can't get at you to grab you? Or who's asleep, or something?"

"Never tried it???"

That...

"That might work?"

"Neat!"

"Pretty sure sleeping won't cut it, too easy to just worry about you waking back up, but if you can't, like if you're tied up or something, that would actually work."

"We can try that, then."

"That... would be really sweet of you."

"I mean, I also want us to be able to hug, you know?"

She blushes a bit.

"Yeah."

Okay her hand's as better as she's gonna get it.

"What d'they have here as far as like... washing up in the morning or things like that? And do they do breakfast in time for me to eat before heading out to work?"