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Slayer Lynne having a time
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This is hard, and she's tired, and she just died, and she has not remotely dealt with that, and, looking back over her life, she suspects that "she has not remotely dealt with that" should be carved on her tombstone, if she even gets a tombstone instead of rising as a vampire and eating Mr. Jameson. Mr. Jameson was probably doing his best, sort of, at least by Watcher standards, and does not deserve to be eaten by a vampire-Slayer. Maybe the fact that she's here in this room means she won't be rising as a vampire? But maybe it's just her soul that's here, and her body is back on Earth being inhabited by an evil demon who, she suspects, probably really wants to eat Mr. Jameson, and/or thinks it would be funny. She, personally, does not think it would be funny.

If she's lucky, that vampire who catcalled her has no idea what he just drank and will be leaving her in a heap on the ground like vampires often do in that park. If she's not lucky... well. She doesn't remember being fed vampire blood, but she was not super with it at the time. It could've happened. Or he could've waited until she lost consciousness, to make it a nice surprise for the demon he invites into her body.

This is a really depressing line of thought. She should be thinking about getting cool magic powers, instead.

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She tries to think about getting cool magic powers, but somehow she ends up thinking about what life would be like after failing all those quests. No cool magic powers, cycling through different lost senses every day, permanently more susceptible to mind control, intermittently mute... all in all, better than being a member of the evil undead, but maybe not better than being regular dead, actually. It's the permanently more susceptible to mind control part that's haunting her particularly.

Well. Look on the bright side. All she has to do to avoid that specific fate is whatever her stranger tells her to do, and she's great at that, nearly all of the time, recent events notwithstanding.

Hmm. This attempt at cheering herself up has led to her staring at the floor thinking wistfully about crying but not feeling like she can muster the energy to actually cry. Not ideal.

She rubs her face with both hands, and gets up and walks around the room again. Does some stretches, just to have something to do that isn't mope.

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Okay. Assume that she lands in an alien world that needs her to save it, and she doesn't speak the local language, and she doesn't have food or water or shelter. What are the first things she'll need?

Tongues. Goodberry. Shape Water and/or Purify - maybe Purify to start with. Mage Armor in case she lands naked. Something for shelter... Alter Object, Mold Earth? No, she might as well use Hideaway, that's sort of the thing Hideaway is for.

Vigor, for Haste-training purposes. Fist and Toughness and Counterspell for Slaying purposes. The rest of the Slayer Basics, if she can manage them.

All right then. She sits down and looks over the list.

The upgrades on Tongues are mostly not that relevant to getting by in an alien world. Depth, maybe, but Depth isn't a metamagic area and she wants to prioritize those.

Goodberry's Effect and Method both seem worth upgrading faster. She puts them both up to 3; she can always take them back down again.

Purify is the same way.

Mage Armor's Duration seems very important, considering.

Hideaway doesn't work well as a shelter without some Duration on it. She allocates the points and also takes a quick peek at Alter Object and Mold Earth, as her shelter alternatives. Okay, Alter Object really can't function as a shelter alternative without some serious training, what about Mold Earth? Sure, she can put some points into Range for Mold Earth.

Vigor: the thing she needs it for is at the very end of Effect. It also has a Method, Target, and Duration, so she throws some points into those while she's here.

Fist has an Effect, but she's not that thrilled about it. Toughness has a Method, Target, and Duration and she would like all of them. Counterspell has Method, Intensity, Target, and Range, and she would like all of those. How many points has she spent? 228 out of 240, so that's... 12 left? What can she spend 12 more points on...

...she takes a peek at Mask. Yes, yes, she should probably be looking into Slayer Basics instead. But, when you get right down to it, she really wants to be unobservable. Maximize Duration, that's 5 more points, 7 left... she can grab Depth up to Tier 2 and Nature to Tier 1 and then that's that, she has allocated all 240 of her points. Done.

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She is immediately assailed by self-doubt.

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Maybe she should pull those points out of Mask and put them into something else? Warding Gesture? Warding Gesture has Duration and Method...

...she wants Mask, though... and it'll be really good for stealth slaying, if she gets it bumped up high enough...

 

She sighs, and deallocates those twelve points from Mask's upgrades, and takes Warding Gesture's Method and Duration both to 3 instead.

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Okay. She has now allocated all her points to useful places, and only ended up needing to take a very small number of cantrips that are upsettingly violent or sketchy, and every allocated point that's not unlocking a cantrip is accelerating getting her a metamagic tally.

That is, she thinks, a pretty good lineup. Practical. Useful. Doesn't leave over any points that could get randomized into bad places.

Her heart still wants Mask, or maybe Penumbra, but her heart is just going to have to shut up, because she doesn't know where she's landing but she can expect to have a hard time there and it would be really very silly of her to prioritize her daydreams over her basic physical safety.

—wait, hang on—

She pulls the twelve points out of Warding Gesture, and flips to Detection. Intensity to 3, Range to... darn, she can't afford to push it all the way. Maybe if she deallocated Fire Bolt...? No, she shouldn't deallocate Fire Bolt. She puts her two remaining points into Tier 1 of Result instead. It's not a metamagic area but it is, she thinks, probably worth it, to have magically improved situational awareness. Situational awareness is very important.

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She should, she thinks, go through the whole list of cantrips and find all the ones she's not taking and decide whether she should instead take them. That's the sensible thing to do. She doesn't really want to, but it's definitely the sensible thing, nonetheless.

How long has she been here? It's hard to say. There aren't any clocks. She doesn't feel hungry or thirsty or tired, but perhaps she's being protected against damage from those things too.

She gets up. She walks around the room, twice clockwise and then once counter-clockwise, trailing her fingers on the wall. It feels like it should feel cramped and trapped and tiny, but it doesn't. It feels comfortable and safe. Like a Hideaway.

 

She sits down again.

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All right, let's do this.

She scans the list.
Acid Splash. Taken? No. Why not? It's evil.
Alarm. Taken? No. Why not? Didn't seem that useful. What are its metamagics? E D. She has tons of those, so it's not much on those grounds. Something to come back to if she grabs a bunch of things and needs somewhere to stick a spare point.
Alignment. Taken? Yes.
Alter Object. Taken? Yes.
Animal Aspect. Taken? Yes.
Animal Friend. Taken? No. Why not? Summoning cantrips weird her out. Metamagics? F D. Again, overabundant. Same deal as Alarm.
Arcane Eye. Taken? Yes.
Banish. Taken? Yes.
Bleed. Taken? Yes.
Blessing. Taken? Yes.

Blink. Taken? Yes.
Blood Money. Taken? Yes.
Charm. Taken? No. Why not? Ethical concerns. Metamagics? F D M I. Are those worth the temptation? Ehhhh no.
Circle. Taken? Yes.
Cloudshape. Taken? Yes.
Cog. Taken? No. Why not? Summoning. It's maybe the most charming summoning cantrip, though. Metamagics? F D. Same deal as Alarm and Animal Friend.
Color Ray. Taken? Yes.
Commune. Taken? Yes.
Counterspell. Taken? Yes.
Crystal Shot. Taken? No. Why not? Attack cantrip. Metamagics? E R. Worth it on those grounds? Leaning no.

Dancing Lights. Taken? No. Why not? Didn't seem that useful. Metamagics? F E R. Worth it on those grounds? She could maybe use more Range, actually. This should be one of the first she picks up if she starts moving points to new cantrips.
Daze. Taken? No. Why not? Ugh. Metamagics? E D I. Worth it on those grounds? Not really.
Detection. Taken? Yes.
Disguise Self. Taken? Yes.
Divination. Taken? Yes.
Druidcraft. Taken? Yes.
Eldritch Blast. Taken? No. Why not? Attack cantrip. Metamagics? E R. Worth it on those grounds? Leaning no.
Facsimile. Taken? No. Why not? Upsetting and potentially demonic. Metamagics? F E D. Worth it on those grounds? Absolutely not.
Faerie Fire. Taken? No. Why not? Terrifying. Metamagics? F D. Worth it on those grounds? No way.
Featherfall. Taken? Yes.

Fire Bolt. Taken? Yes.
Fist. Taken? Yes.
Fog. Taken? Yes.
Forcedisk. Taken? Yes.
Gate. Taken? Yes.
Ghost Words. Taken? Yes.
Glow. Taken? Yes.
Goodberry. Taken? Yes.
Grease. Taken? Yes.
Guardian. Taken? Yes.

Guidance. Taken? Yes.
Gust. Taken? Yes.
Haste/Slow. Taken? Yes.
Healing Hands. Taken? Yes.
Heroism. Taken? Yes.
Hideaway. Taken? Yes.
Infestation. Taken? No. Why not? Horrible. Metamagics? F E D R. Worth it on those grounds? No.
Investigate. Taken? Yes.
Jinx. Taken? No. Why not? Awful. Metamagics? D R I T. Worth it on those grounds? Not even though it's got some of her least populous metamagics.
Jolt. Taken? Yes.

Knock. Taken? Yes.
Life Bubble. Taken? Yes.
Lifelink. Taken? Yes.
Lock. Taken? Yes.
Longstrider. Taken? Yes.
Lullaby. Taken? Yes.
Mage Armor. Taken? Yes.
Mage Hand. Taken? Yes - for free, at that.
Magic Missile. Taken? Yes.
Magic Weapon. Taken? Yes.

Mark. Taken? Yes.
Mask. Taken? Yes.
Mending. Taken? Yes.
Message. Taken? Yes.
Minor Illusion. Taken? No. Why not? Sketchy. Metamagics? F E D. Worth it on those grounds? Not really.
Mirror Image. Taken? Yes.
Mold Earth.Taken? Yes.
Muffle. Taken? Yes.
Murk. Taken? Yes.
Navigate. Taken? Yes.

Pact. Taken? Yes.
Peacebond. Taken? Yes.
Penumbra. Taken? Yes.
Phantom Steed. Taken? No. Why not? Summoning. Metamagics? F D. Another of those.
Pocket. Taken? Yes.
Prestidigitation. Taken? Yes.
Purify. Taken? Yes.
Raise Dead. Taken? No. Why not? AAAAA. Metamagics? M. Worth it on those grounds? Never.
Ray of Frost. Taken? Yes.
Recollect. Taken? No. Why not? Upsetting. Metamagics? F E M. Worth it on those grounds? ...maybe?

Rune. Taken? No. Why not? Weird and concerning. Metamagics? E M. Worth it on those grounds? ...maybe??
Scholar's Touch. Taken? Yes, for free.
Scour. Taken? No. Why not? Upsetting attack cantrip. Metamagics? R I T. Worth it on those grounds? Maybe it should be, but the fact of the matter is she doesn't want to.
Scribe. Taken? No. Why not? ...no good reason, she just didn't think of it. Metamagics? F E M. She should take this.
Seance. Taken? No. Why not? Just sorta concerning. Metamagics? F E M R. Worth it on those grounds? Could be.
Shape Water. Taken? Yes.
Spirit Bow. Taken? Yes.
Stabilize. Taken? Yes.
Thunderclap. Taken? No. Why not? Attack cantrip. Metamagics? R I. Worth it on those grounds? Maybe one of the more worth-it attack cantrips, but again, she doesn't wanna.
Tongues. Taken? Yes.

Toughness. Taken? Yes.
True Strike. Taken? Yes.
Unseen Servant. Taken? Yes.
Upgrade. Taken? Yes.
Vicious Mockery. Taken? No. Why not? It's evil. Metamagics? D I T. Worth it on those grounds? Absolutely not.
Vigor. Taken? Yes.
Warding Gesture. Taken? Yes.
Web. Taken? No. Why not? Upsetting and not all that useful. Metamagics? R. Worth it on those grounds? No.
Wellness. Taken? Yes.
Witch's Brew. Taken? Yes.

...and when she's all done, her notes say:
Cantrips Not Taken
Alarm (E D) not that useful
Animal Friend (F D) summoning
Charm (F D M I) bad
Cog (F D) summoning
Dancing Lights (F E R) not that useful
Daze (E D I) bad
Eldritch Blast (E R) attack
Facsimile (F E D) bad
Faerie Fire (F D) bad
Infestation (F E D R) bad
Jinx (D R I T) bad
Minor Illusion (F E D) bad?
Phantom Steed (F D) summoning
Raise Dead (M) bad
Recollect (F E M) upsetting
Rune (E M) weird
Scour (R I T) attack
Scribe (F E M) no good reason
Seance (F E M R) summoning
Thunderclap (R I) attack
Vicious Mockery (D I T) bad
Web (R) upsetting
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If she deallocates the Detection areas that she only partially accelerated, she frees up five points, so that can be her extra cantrips budget. Scribe is first. Dancing Lights second. Recollect next, maybe? She could help people with it, at high enough levels. Or teach it to people so they can help themselves. Two points left... Alarm maybe. One point left. What should she pick up with her last point?

Hmm... her pen taps against the page, bouncing next to Phantom Steed. She doesn't think she especially wants Phantom Steed, and it isn't that useful in the metamagic department...

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Metamagic-wise, she obviously should take Seance, which is the best available metamagic spread among cantrips that are not actively evil. However, for one thing, she's not completely sure that it isn't actively evil; Mr. Jameson has had some choice things to say about magic users who consort with spirits. And for another thing... Cog is cuter she should not make this decision based on Cog being cuter.

It is cuter, though.

What else could she take, though? Rune?? Rune is so weird and it's not clear how it works and most of what it can do is sketchy...

She sighs, tiredly. Maybe she will allow herself this one tiny self-indulgence. Cog it is. She'll probably never cast it.

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Now, the thing is, if this whole setup is a trap, putting her hands on the book and saying the thing would just be asking for trouble. And if it's not, then she goes ahead to her destination as soon as the spell fails. So it's obviously the wrong move to do it, and she should just wait it out instead.

 

She lies down on the floor, and daydreams about being safely tucked away in a cozy dimensional pocket where nothing from the outside world can ever find her.

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Her daydreams turn to thoughts of being found by the stranger from Absolute Fealty, so she gets up and practices martial arts instead, careful not to hit the desk or the lights on the walls. The space is a bit cramped for it but that just makes it a useful challenge. If she keeps her body moving it can leave her thoughts behind.

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Beat up the air, take a breather, do the short stretch routine, do the longer stretch routine, walk around the desk five times each way, do the really long stretch routine, repeat.

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She sits down and tries to read over her lists but she can't make herself focus. And she didn't write down the extra cantrips she took at the end, just allocated the points directly. That was silly of her; now she'd have to page through the book and match them against her latest list to figure out what they all are... Scribe was on there, right? Scribe and Alarm and Dancing Lights and Recollect and... Cog. Right. She sighs and scribbles them halfheartedly on the same page as her latest list, off to the side. Maybe Recollect was a good pick after all.

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She should have needed to sleep by now. She lies down on the floor again and tries it.

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So that was a bust.

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Back to martial arts practice. At least she'll be in top shape when she lands. Assuming that the sense in which she has a body right now is meaningfully applicable to her destination, which is pretty up in the air considering that this might all be some hallucination of her dead captive soul.

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Somehow she finds herself sitting on the floor, tucked as far as possible into one of the corners behind the desk, hugging her knees and trying very hard not to think about Absolute Fealty.

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Commands that interfere with her other quests don't count, right?

And she has all those metamagic quests. She hasn't done the math, but she's pretty sure it's going to take her a really long time to get through all that training.

So maybe if she just lands with a ferocious determination to spend every waking moment training for metamagic except when she needs time off to save the world, then her stranger won't be able to do much to her. Oh, she has other quests too—every waking moment training for metamagic except when she needs time off to save the world, read books, pray to the moon, work out, take naps, meditate on her magic, and, um... make sincere requests...? She can sincerely request that her stranger be nice to her, unless it turns out that that makes them meaner, in which case she can... go to a restaurant and sincerely request a nice meal, which may also count as an act of personal restoration? But regardless: training. Training might save her.

She gets up and goes back to martial arts practice, but this time continuously muttering under her breath, "train haste train haste train haste train haste train haste..."

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"Train haste, train haste, train haste..."

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"Train haste. Train haste. Train haste."

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