"I have a feeling it'd be hard to talk them into waiting any longer. Even if it'd mean getting to be the center of attention."

Eclipse one giggles and dips her head. Cube, Wish, and Aurum smile. "I don't mind sharing," says the Aurum one.

"I am confused that the demonstrable nonexistence of the Catholic afterlife and the existence of hundreds of universes where Catholicism is not true and the fact Jesus is in Limbo and you can just go talk to him did not inspire you to abandon Catholicism."

"It would be really presumptuous to go talk to Jesus!" says Wish Rebecca.

"He's probably really busy," agrees Cube Rebecca.

"Also I think maybe we were in purgatory and forgot about it," adds Aurum Rebecca.

"Drop it, dear."

"We could resurrect another Jesus for them to -"

"Dear."

"Anyway," says Eclipse Rebecca's Macalaurë, "I see no reason to wait."

"Oh, see, the reason to wait is that then you get to make a splash with the news you're seeing her and a splash with the news you're engaged and a splash with the wedding."

"That sounds like it would take a long time!" says Eclipse Rebecca.

"Yes, but we'll have all eternity to be married, we can only court once."

"Being married is the fun part!" say all Catholic Rebeccas present including the one who is already married.

"They can't fuck till they get married," Beka stage-whispers to Peka.

"That is obviously false," Peka whispers back, glancing at the Catherines who have all been labeled in Sharpie lest they be mixed up.

"Yeah I know," Beka whispers back. "But they don't wanna, except for how they do, so they're getting married."

Unmarried Catholic Rebeccas get patted by indulgent boyfriends.

Indulgent boyfriends are rewarded with adoring gazes!

Michael beams at his wife. "So glad I found you."

"Me too!"

And there are marriages!!! The Catholic priests in Warp are a little alarmed that the vows are sexist.

Eclipse Rebecca's are even weirder.

Yeah these 22nd century priests are pretty concerned.

Macalaurës take their Rebeccas home.

Eclipse Rebecca is so! excited! about! being! married! She can stop all that stupid worrying about being the gatekeeper of her nonexistent innocence or whatever and just let her husband do all that and he can do whatever he wants with her and it is good and he should want to do some things with her right? Right?

Her husband remains deliriously happy that she does not want weird fire torture or to be kept in a box next to his bed or something. He does in fact want to do things with her! They are not married in an Elf sense yet and he thinks that would be lovely.