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"Because maybe I missed it, but I don't think you've mentioned an actual reason yet."

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"A reason to, you mean?"

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"Yeah, that."

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The recording is locked. It will not get any less locked if Bell summarizes some highlights from memory. Okay.

"I like her. When I was darted I thought she was - pretty, I mean of course she's pretty but relevantly pretty - and finding people pretty is nice. I don't think the dart gave me enough material to hack myself about anyone else, and even if it did, there are no other relevant girl prospects around. Girl is relevant because any risk of having children under the current government is intolerable to me. And I don't want to be alone for - as long as it could conceivably take to overthrow the Capitol, or to decisively fail and decide to flee the world." Pause. "And that was really good risotto. Although I imagine she'll go on cooking regardless of whether I date her."
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"...It's, uh, it's possible to date a guy and not have kids with the guy," says Tony. "I mean. I'm just saying. There are options."

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"When I say any risk I mean any risk. I'm not trusting that nasty-smelling tea the - well, I don't know what you have around here, but in Four it was nasty-smelling tea, and I have observed women who habitually smelled of it to fall pregnant. I don't mean to denigrate your entire gender or anything, I just don't think most people-in-general feel as strongly as I do, so agreeing on which precautions are necessary would be hard."

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"Uh, okay," says Tony.

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"Awkward topic," observes Bell. "Anyway. Reasons. They exist."

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"They're pretty good reasons," he says.

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"Yeah. I'm just unfamiliar with decisions of this form and don't know how to weigh them against the others."

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"Well. Anything else you wanna know?"

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"No. Thanks." She gets up. "Bye."

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"See ya," he says. "Good luck."

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Bell goes and sits in her room. She listens to her locked-up musings and her conversation with Tony over again, at 3x speed. She thinks.

She goes looking for Sherlock.
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Living room. Book.

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Bell sits. She's not sure if Sherlock's interruptable. She will wait for Sherlock to notice her.

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"Hello," says Sherlock.

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"Hi. I have what could be called a contingent decision."

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"...Yes?"

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"I have never tried to edit my brain in quite this way before, but any change on this scale usually requires what I am going to call pretending, to start with. I had to pretend not to care about my grades before I could really stop; just knowing that passing the wrong test would get me effectively kidnapped and stuck in a different District didn't do it. I had to pretend to be way more obsessed with shells than I actually am before it came readily to me to throw a tantrum if someone moved a bag of them that I'd been keeping near a door in case of Milliways. And I think that in order to slip back into what I'm calling holiday-drugs-mode I will have to first pretend. And it might not work. And that could easily be unpleasant on your end."

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"Describe pretending," Sherlock requests.
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"More snuggling, probably. Kissing you while still pretending might or might not be necessary but wouldn't hurt. Generally acting and talking like I am your girlfriend."

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"I am thoroughly in favour of more snuggling," says Sherlock. "Independently of other concerns."

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"Snuggling independently of other concerns would be nice," agrees Bell, squirming a little in her chair.

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"...Would you like to snuggle?" says Sherlock.

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