"Guides're usually a little spotty," she says. "Don't forget your res code, don't annoy judges, don't annoy torturers—the Crescent can help you if the judges give you a sentence you don't want; we can't help you if a torturer decides to grab you off the street and play with you a little."

"...They do that a lot?"

"Sometimes," she says, shrugging. "Not that often—there aren't that many torturers—but yeah. Sometimes."

"What are the best ways to avoid them?"

"Don't hang out anywhere too popular, or anywhere you know is somebody's stomping grounds," she suggests. "Spend a lot of time in the library. Nobody fucks with a librarian."

"...Why does nobody fuck with a librarian, and how does one acquire that designation? Can you tell me if there are any 'stomping grounds' in my neighborhood, especially between my apartment and the transit station?"

"I don't know your neighborhood," she says, shaking her head. "If you want to be a librarian, try the library. Won't help you at home, though."

"So people only don't fuck with librarians in the library?"

"That's about the size of it," she agrees.

"Why, what happens if someone does?"

"People just... don't," she says, shrugging.

"...Because mind control? Because cultural taboo? Because the librarians all back each other up and several of them know martial arts? Because magical impossibility?"

"Cultural taboo's probably closest."

"Okay." She closes her eyes. "What else don't I know that I'll need to find out to get along here? You're being so helpful - immensely helpful - and of course my natural response is to get as much information out of you as I can."

"How long?"

"Coming up on fifteen thousand years."

"That is a very long time," says Shell Bell.

"Yep," says Eights.

"Do you even remember anything about being alive?"

"I know I had a boyfriend and I cheated on him," she says, "'cause that's what I was sentenced for."

"...What all's in my file besides putting people on the moon?"

"Uh..." She thinks back. "Did you fake your death? I think I remember something about that."

"Yeah, I couldn't otherwise get out of my home district safely. I stole a canoe and left a note telling my parents I was attempting to go someplace nobody could actually get to and actually walked to the next town and stowed away on a train."