"I am making fun of you," he confirms. "But I mock with the truth. I've missed cooking. This bizarre experiment, going to high school, pretending to be human - it suits me."
"It took you a week to get bored of murder, a far more popular pastime among your species. How long do you imagine this one will last?"
"You'd have a better chance at understanding me if you forgot my species completely. Heaven knows I try to."
"D'you know what," he says, "you may take that as your first assignment in observation and deduction."
"Figure out in what way I am different from other vampires, and why. For extra credit, figure out in what way I was different from other humans. Your available research material is the entire observable universe. There is no deadline."
"I'm actually a little surprised people aren't finding you more recognizable."
"People see what they expect to, on the whole. No one expects me to be who I am."
Bella nods. "Any tips, or is your style more 'immediate unguided field assignment' than 'tutoring'?"
"I already know the answer," he points out. "It makes it somewhat harder to investigate from a position of ignorance. But to get a little more abstract - I'm sure you can tell for yourself which are the things about me that don't fit. Those are always a good place to start."
"All right. D'you want my findings double-spaced?" Bella inquires lightly.
"It'll probably be easier to submit it written, even if I don't bother to type it up. I think on paper."
"Unobjectionable. I don't mind the chores, I like to cook for them, and the rest of the time I can sit in my room with a book and no one gives me trouble."
"I didn't think hobbies usually carried over. So I guess this will go in my report."
"I'm so informed," says Bella dryly. "I'll have you all figured out any minute now."