Elizabeth giggles.

"That's most of the point of starfish is to have arms. They could hand you stuff. None of this burping nonsense."

"Even though it's hilarious."

"Yes," says Bella firmly.

"If you say so."

"I do say so." Bella flops onto a couch. "I thought about it and I think I agree with you I'd be bad at politics, but only if I had to get elected, I think I would be a good queen."

"Really," says Elizabeth. "Go on."

"Well, monarchs are mostly good as long as they don't start doing actually evil things, as near as I can tell. That's what the problem always seems to be with kings and queens in history, is that they started being terrible to people of different religions or going on badly informed witch hunts or taking money they didn't really need or something. I wouldn't do that, I would want a nice happy well-managed country that I could be proud of."

"The problem with monarchies is that kings and queens die and then their kids take over and at some point there's just not going to be a kid who'll be any good at it," says Elizabeth. "The best thing a queen can do for the long term is write a good constitution."

"Oh, yes. I forgot the part where I was imagining I'd be immortal," says Bella apologetically. "I was imagining that. I could probably also write a good constitution, though."

"What would you put in it?"

"It would probably depend on the country, I guess. Maybe I would keep around an evil vizier specifically so whenever he told me to do something I could come up with exactly what about his idea was bad, and put not to do it in the constitution," she suggests, mostly facetiously.

She snorts.

"I think I would also be well up on most real queens and kings just by not having Inquisitions or a torture chamber or crushing taxes, though."

"That stuff's easy. It's the tricky parts that get you. Politics is the kind of thing you can't get right just by sitting and thinking about it; you have to find out how things actually work first."

"Right. I'd have to talk to a lot of people and figure out what they wanted. Or at least have someone who was good at that."

"I'm good at that."

"You could be my not-evil vizier, then. Assuming you aren't evil."

"Of course not."

"Hmm, I wonder what the best way to figure that out for sure is."

"There isn't one."

"I think you would be more likely to say that if you were evil," says Bella, stroking her chin thoughtfully.

"Interesting. Why?"

"Well, it's either true or not true, and you either know it or you don't, and I don't think you being evil affects those odds either way - I don't think evil people know more or fewer things, or that you being evil would make it likelier or less likely that there's a way to find out about it for sure or vice versa. Well, maybe vice versa, if there were a way to find out and you knew it and decided not to be evil since somebody could find out if you were, but that's not a very big slice of maybe. But whether it's true or not and whether you know or not, you would want me to think I couldn't know for sure, if you were actually evil. ...No, that's not quite right, is it, because maybe you could make up a test and then pass it, so I take it back."

"The thing that I am that makes me say that is 'cynical'," she says, helpfully.