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Dec 09, 2018 6:26 PM
Serg the dragon snatches Yvette the princess
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A pretty young woman sits in a lovely garden, staring with single minded fixation at a set of tiles on the table. She thinks she can solve this puzzle, but it's the sort of thing that if she makes a wrong move she could screw up the long term strategy, and end up with an unwinnable game. To prevent that, the player needs to think several moves ahead. If she had an opponent, maybe she'd feel put on the spot while thinking this far ahead, but she has more fun against tricky faceless puzzles than tricky befaced people that do unexpected things and hold grudges. When it's just a bunch of tiles on the table, a puzzle to be solved, it's so much easier for her to think. She has all of the time she needs, the puzzle doesn't care. This way, no one has to lose. It's just a matter of figuring out how to win.

She just needs to figure out how. Hmmm, maybe if she moves this tile here, then...

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...a sudden shadow will blot out the sun and a large taloned hand will close around her waist?

That probably isn't the result she was expecting.

The dragon, scales shimmering fiery red in the afternoon light, leaps back into the sky with Saveth held securely in a foreclaw.

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This was not a result she was expecting! Well, there's only one sensible way to react to this change in circumstances.

She screams.

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The dragon laughs.

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Once she has adjusted to the situation of 'being carried away by a dragon,' she stops screaming. It's not really helping anymore. She looks at the ground below and thinks about how this is completely impossible and should not happen, and also how she should probably not struggle because she would definitely die from that drop. Or really, really want to be dead. She clearly needs a different solution to this problem than the immediately obvious ones.


"... Excuse me!" she calls, after a few moments of adjustment. "Have you considered the social and economic benefits of putting me back?!"

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There is a somewhat disbelieving pause.

 

"...can't say that I have, no."

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"Okay, well, they exist! I will be more than happy to tell you all about them! Presumably there are things that you might want that you can't get just by being a dragon and taking them! I'm a princess, put me back and I can help persuade people to - to - what do dragons do, do you sit on a hoard of treasure, going out and fetching that must be annoying, it'd be much easier to pay people to do it for you."

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A long wingbeat. Her palace recedes behind them.

"I do not sit on a hoard of treasure," he says, amused. "I don't know how that rumour got started. If a dragon makes a habit of sitting on a hoard of treasure, they'll soon go from having a hoard of treasure to having a gold-plated floor."

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"Well, okay but, but - you probably do eat, what about regular food deliveries, super convenient, don't need to go to the trouble to find your meals at all, everybody's lazy sometimes!"

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Snort.

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"What sorts of things are inconvenient for a dragon, do you get bits of sheep and maiden stuck in annoying places in your teeth and need dragon sized floss, are you bothered by how your scales aren't polished enough and need little helper servants to polish the hard to reach places, do you want artists to be paid to paint giant impressive murals of you all over your - whatever it is that you live in?!"

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The dragon laughs.

"I think your argument would sound a lot better if you had any idea what I wanted in life," he says. "As much fun as it is to listen to you guess wildly."

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"Yeah, probably, I'm kind of panicking because I got snatched by a dragon, what do you want?!"

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"As it happens, one of my favourite hobbies is kidnapping pretty girls!"

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"What, are we prettily decorative or something, do you make us sing to you, I will be really annoyed if I'm going to be relegated to sitting around looking decorative and occasionally fanning you with an oversized fan or something, I would get so incredibly bored!"

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"Boredom is not the usual complaint, no."

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"Do we make entertaining squeaking sounds when you toss us off cliffs, are you trying to coax dragonslayers to where you live for the entertainment, do you like the smell of our perfume, I am really not seeing the uses a giant flying lizard has for pretty girls!"

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"You're very creative," he says, laughing.

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"If you think I'm creative it's a - a waste of my creativity if you just eat me -"

She's been remarkably intelligible under the circumstances, but now she's started to devolve a little into hysterics.

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"Who said I was going to eat you?"

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"I - I don't - I don't know what else you'd even do, you're obviously not interested in ransoming me!"

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The dragon snorts again.

He's a fast flier. She was already pretty close to her southern border, but in their short conversation he's already carried her most of the way across the next kingdom. Now, making the final approach to his mountain lair, he stretches out his wings and glides in for a landing on a very pretty cliffside balcony, setting Saveth down very gently on her feet on the polished stone—

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—and then he sort of shimmers and folds inward, and the next moment there's a tall and rather attractive human standing there, hints of fiery red glimmering subtly in his messy black hair and lively black eyes, raising his eyebrows at her.

"Do I really need to spell it out?"

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"oh."

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"Now she gets it."

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- Well now she's more insulted than scared.

"Hey, let's see you get carried off by a dragon and see how quick on the uptake you are!"

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