Dec 09, 2018 8:00 PM
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Johanna, back at her apartment after a lengthy afternoon of magical experimentation, considers the facts.

One: The vampires of this town are, by and large, "vegetarian"; a relatively recent development, and the doing of a blonde half-demon powerhouse with an irritating grin.

Two: There is a small vampire, new on the scene, with either highly unusual romantic inclinations or the ability to hypnotize said blonde powerhouse into buying mattresses for him.

Three: Johanna herself is a romantic trainwreck on legs, and Chris is disastrously attractive and magical.

Well, the last point is nothing new, though the last time romance was actually relevant in her life was in 1986. But she can deal. Who gives a shit. Romance is for the birds. She'll learn magic and nothing else will be necessary apart from keeping the Slayer alive.

And on that note, the first two points are important to suss out if she wants to do that. So she needs to find stuff out. Now, who would know about newcomers to the supernatural community...

She phones Rupert.
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"Yes?"

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"Rupert! Hullo. It's me. Sorry if it's some ungodly hour over there, I imagined you'd just be reading some kind of tome anyway so it didn't really matter."

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"Johanna," he sighs. "Hello. What is it?"

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"Well, I've just been rattling around the Hellmouth, shelving books and driving off teenagers and finding the Slayer, you know how it is, and wouldn't you know it I found something interesting. The latest trend among the vampires of Sunnydale seems to be a kind of... vegetarianism."

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"Meaning...?"

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"They don't kill people. Apparently they steal or buy from the butchers, which must be terribly confusing. Anyway, I thought that sounded a bit, um, prophetic? Two-headed lambs, snow in Hell, et cetera. And you're better situated to know about that kind of thing, anyway, so I thought I'd drop you a line and all. And see if you knew about any vampire ancients under five feet tall, that's another thing I was going to ask. Possibly with psychic powers."

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"Under five...? None of this is sounding familiar, but I'll look it up, of course."

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"Ta. There's this... tiny vampire man, and he's got this big sidekick who's apparently half demon and who he's in some kind of... relationship with? Which is confusing enough in its own right. I mean. Vampire relationships. Usually just torturing kittens together, isn't it? But these ones were being adorable and buying a mattress. Even though the big one had a hole in his neck. It was bizarre."

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He is not nearly awake enough for this.

"Well, unless you've caught sight of the mythical vampire with a soul, I really can't say what might be going on," he says.
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She's getting that impression, yeah.

"Well. Thanks anyway. Maybe I'll call back when you're... less in the middle of the night. I've been dying to complain about tea to someone, and frankly you're the only human being in the Isles I can tolerate."
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"Thank you," he says dryly. "Good luck with your Slayer. And your small amorous vampire."

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"Thanks."

Click.

She makes a mental note to get a clock and set it to London time, for future calls. Damn the Atlantic.
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