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Ari's ninth birthday was last week, and the last of his baby teeth finally came out. (Mama said she'd have to yank it out herself if it didn't get with the program. He wriggled in exaggerated fear.) And she let him come pixie-hunting with her! They didn't catch many, but it was a lot of fun. He hopes she lets him do it again soon.
They're walking through the brush of Shallow Winter, and Mama's telling him about ley lines. He listens intently.
So intently that he doesn't notice the quiet growling coming out of the ground.
It abruptly falls away, and he's swallowed into the earth.
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sonofsnow
Forest forest forest forest. Rabbits. Squirrels. Slimes.
Sudden inexplicable tundra!
Sudden inexplicable tundra!
sonofsnow
"...Well then!"
It's just like being back in the Nevernever proper. Sudden biomes. Snow everywhere. Things trying ineptly to kill him.
It's just like being back in the Nevernever proper. Sudden biomes. Snow everywhere. Things trying ineptly to kill him.
The penguins don't try to kill him. The penguins are nice.
The ice slimes are pretty and sparkly and dumb as squishy little rocks.
The ice slimes are pretty and sparkly and dumb as squishy little rocks.
sonofsnow
Squish, squish, squish. He prefers the stave to his gravity hammer; magic regenerates quickly and doesn't really feel like much of anything, whereas the gravity hammer is like murderous jumping jacks.
Pew, pew, pew. (He catches a penguin with his butterfly net. He wants a penguin.)
Pew, pew, pew. (He catches a penguin with his butterfly net. He wants a penguin.)
Catching a penguin with his butterfly net works perfectly. Welcome to Terraria, as Wyatt would say.
Next up: sudden inexplicable desert!
Next up: sudden inexplicable desert!
He sees slimes, cactuses, vultures, and a giant insect aggressively spitting clods of sand at him.
sonofsnow
The cacti he spares. The rest are murdered with extreme prejudice.
Once he recognizes the cacti as a type of tree, they aren't spared either. He harvests enough of them that he can take a break to make a bathtub after this and clean off. Fucking deserts. (That bathtubs are permanently filled with warm soapy water is something he learned early on. It makes as much sense as anything else, really.)
Once he recognizes the cacti as a type of tree, they aren't spared either. He harvests enough of them that he can take a break to make a bathtub after this and clean off. Fucking deserts. (That bathtubs are permanently filled with warm soapy water is something he learned early on. It makes as much sense as anything else, really.)
Cactus furniture is conveniently unprickly.
Next up: An enormous stone building with a meatbot wandering around out front. Well, maybe it's a person. But it's probably a meatbot.
Next up: An enormous stone building with a meatbot wandering around out front. Well, maybe it's a person. But it's probably a meatbot.
sonofsnow
Ari is not holding his breath. (Even though he can hold his breath for three minutes, which he has always been inordinately proud of.)
"Hail, stranger! Do you want to join my Court? I'm guessing the answer is yes!"
"Hail, stranger! Do you want to join my Court? I'm guessing the answer is yes!"
"I cannot let you enter until you free me of my curse," says the old-man meatbot.
"My master cannot be summoned under the light of day," the old-man meatbot informs him.
"I hope you have like six friends standing around behind you."
"You pathetic fool. You cannot hope to face my master as you are now," says the meatbot.
sonofsnow
"Listen, you want the rescue now or in five years? Because I'm not gonna be here in five years."
"You are far too weak to defeat my curse. Come back when you aren't so worthless," the meatbot suggests.
sonofsnow
"Look, assh-"
Ari pauses.
Suddenly, he's wearing a full set of silver armor.
"Better?"
Ari pauses.
Suddenly, he's wearing a full set of silver armor.
"Better?"
"Please! Battle my captor and free me! I beg you!" says the meatbot with halfhearted agitation.
"Come back at night if you wish to enter."
"My master cannot be summoned under the light of day," the meatbot reminds him.