Continuities » Sandboxes » I'm Kind Of Confused But That's Not A Bad Thing
Sep 22, 2017 9:49 PM
People Who Know Elves in Milliways
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Odette still hasn't quite gotten Sympathy teleportation figured out, so if she wants to talk to her sister in person instead of over lovely elf-derived telepathy she still has to physically traverse the space between there and where she starts out, and the windows into Illia's throne room are more decorative than openable, so she has to use the doors into the throne room.

...

Those were the doors to her sister's throne room. Even if she hadn't built the place she uses those doors on a regular basis.

She didn't even put a bar anywhere in the palace, let alone in the throne room. And she would have noticed if someone else put one there.

Well, this bears investigating.

She wanders in, in the general direction of the actual bar.

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Hello. Can I interest you in a beverage? First one's free.

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"...Sure. Who are you and why did these doors lead to you, here, instead of my sister in her throne room?"

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Please call me Bar. The door to Milliways appropriates other doors in various universes and leads here instead of to wherever the appropriated door normally goes. When you leave you may expect the same time and place whence you came.

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"Huh. Any universe? So there are in fact more than two."

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Many more than that. Although if there are universes which for whatever reason are Milliways-inaccessible I would have some difficulty learning of them. A mug of hot wine appears, smelling of cinnamon.

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She magically checks to make sure it's harmless and then takes a sip. "This is lovely."

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Thank you!

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"So what do you do besides be stunningly good at drink recommendations?"

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I can also do book recommendations and dispense other purchases, and am generally the source of information about the establishment for inquisitive patrons. I dispense room keys and handle in-bar employment.

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"Books? Can you--I was in university--"

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I have all of the books; which ones would you like?

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"Best day. All of them. I want all of the books."

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Which do you want first?

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"Magic and engineering textbooks from the University of Genosha."

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And here they are, stacked up neatly all over the bar's surface leaving a nook for the wine.

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The door opens.

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Odette turns around.

(She has not sat down, or stood down, or in any way ceased to be hovering a few feet off the floor.)

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"Okay," says the newcomer, "this is interesting, where am I?"

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"Milliways, apparently, whose main features seem to be a door that hijacks doors in arbitrary universes and a sentient bar who sells at the very least drinks and books but also other things that have not yet been specified."

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"And here I thought the Tesseract was bored with me again already. Hello, sentient bar."

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Hello. First drink is free. I can sell most medium-sized nonmagical nonweapon nonliving objects.

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"The Tesseract?"

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"Magic item. It gave me magic powers when I was a kid, and then later flung me into another universe until I managed to use them to get out, grab it, and use it to kill an evil god."

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"Spontaneous transposition to other universes can be a bitch," she says sympathetically, "although I'm pretty sure mine didn't involve any artifacts. D'you happen to have it on you and/or tips for killing evil gods without, I've got one of those to deal with myself."

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"Nah, I don't usually carry it around when I'm not doing anything that might require it or trying to annoy my mother. We tried a nuke first? Didn't work?"

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