...turn twelve feet tall?

Ha. No.

Beat my cousin at Governor. Remember things that you read and forgot.

Have not picked up the game. No.

Melt the crystals that were once Sauron into a puddle and piss in it. Did you find a girl, finally? I'm out of guesses.

I didn't fly here.

Oh! Congratulations! You are really and lastingly safe then. That's very good news.

Well, not necessarily, if something kills me before I notice I'm under attack that's that, but it's still pretty great.

Safety from death isn't really what I was thinking of.

Oh, that too, yes.

It's a bit how hard to describe how deeply ingrained in us it is. Death Mandos can fix, that not so much. Anyhow, congratulations, in Tirion we'd throw a party in your honor. Can you make it to Valinor?

Presumably, but that seems like just as bad an idea as it was when I would have had to fly there.

Having a way out is a big advantage. I don't think it's particularly wise, though.

I'd rather first encounter the Valar with overwhelming force on my side.

He raises an eyebrow. You're, like, my cousins but functional. It makes me feel better that that level of jawdropping ambition is actually compatible with good manners and good priorities.

...Wow, I'm intensely flattered!

What's the plan now?

Wait until Sauron comes out and tries to kill me and then kill him instead.

Great planning, I approve.

Thanks.

Shall we throw a party for you, or does that risk Sauron finding out?

I'd like to keep it a little low-key - I popped over here, but I don't think I'd better make a grand tour of everywhere it interests me to be all in one day.

That makes sense.

I did scout the south continent, though, it looks continental and everything, didn't see anybody on it.

Huh. Well, that's good to know, if things here get bad enough.