"Mm. Four's a good size for a gang." 

"...what's a gang?"

"…y'know, the thing where if anyone tries to fuck with Kaleva they'll get punched by Chen and in return Kaleva — on the Isle it'd be 'brings food and does what Chen says' but here it seems different and I don't know what the default is, you guys seem kind of odd — that's a gang, do they call it something different here? Usually there's a lot more sex involved than you guys had before I showed up but probably that's just Auradon being Auradon." 

"I don't think that's a thing we actually have here."

"I dunno, it seems structurally similar to what I have with Ben, except that I don't do what he says and I'm the one that punches people."

"Maybe they're rare here but the thing you and Chen had was definitely an example of the type — kind of a weird example but a recognizable one, according to basically every Islander you talk to I belong to Chen now the way Harry belongs to Uma." 

It is totally unreasonable to be upset that the Islanders think Sasha belongs to Chen, AND YET. 

"I am truly baffled that there exists a person who can exercise control over Harry's behavior."

"Oh, he's not that different when she's around, sometimes she'll tell him to chill and he'll do it but mostly she points him at people and lets him go, but he tries to do diplomacy less when she can do it instead and that's better for everyone." 

"The thing about Chen is silly because if we belong to anyone we belong to you."

Huh. Yeah, Kaleva's right, it's just weird to think about it that way. "I'm tiny and I'm not the one who's punching anyone, though, you're not wrong but that's not how it'd parse from the outside." 

"Mal is smaller than Jay, I haven't actually seen Uma but I'm going to guess she's less... that thing... than Harry is-- I don't know how to speak islander to tell people I'm yours."

"I'm not sure this works because I think in the islander system I would belong to both Sasha and Ben. Maybe they can time-share or something."

"That's not common and people avoid it, but it's not like I'm going to try to start a fight with Ben's people so the reason people avoid it doesn't apply. The thing with Harry and Uma is, like — if you see someone who has a pet bear they're restraining but they're grinning and making threats and making it very clear that they could stop restraining their bear at any time, the bear might be more dangerous but nobody's under any delusions about whether the bear's in charge. And Mal's smaller than Jay but she's not tiny like I am, she can get in a fight and plausibly win." 

"So what you're saying is that if I want the islanders to know I'm yours I'm going to have to go all Harry Hook."

"Please do not be the bear in this metaphor. There's signaling I could be doing but I'm not, if I'm Chen's I'm protected and that matters, but I'm also protected if Chen is mine so if it matters to you I can signal differently." 

"If that'll get people to stop calling you merchandise to me I'm all for it," Chen says from Kaleva's shoulder. 

Kaleva kisses him. "But then you'd be the merchandise."

He kisses Kaleva back. "Yes, but I don't care what Harry Hook calls me." 

"...Does this all seem really kinky to anyone else?"

"Not really. Kinky is when the knives come out." 

"I think people being called merchandise is also kinky!"

"You don't care what Harry calls you but you do care what he calls Sasha?" Kaleva says to Chen.

He shrugs. "Harry was mostly just being kind of an asshole, but if Chen had said it you'd be right." 

"Course. He can't do anything to me."