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Mar 31, 2020 2:27 AM
A Caden and a Zeke in Citrouille.
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"Um! I appreciate the fact that you aren't doing it in the middle of the cafe!"

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Zeke doesn't feel any pressing need to contribute to this conversation, for once, but he still seems pleased as punch about it.

They're eventually approached by a waiter.

"Are you ready to order, good sirs?" says the waiter - a short fellow with an unfortunate haircut and an impeccably fit uniform.

"Yeah! I'm gonna have the Combo of Lunar Bliss and a water."

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"Um, I'll have the Hashbrowns of Fire and Night, and the black coffee?"

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"House Salad of Teardrop Stains, beer."

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"How concerned should I be that you make all this shit with the blood of orphans?"

"Our hygienic and ethical standards are unparalleled, sir."

"I'm not a sir, bitch. Do I look like the fucking Duke of Cider?"

"There is some trivial resemblance, sir," says the waiter.

"Huh. Never knew that he was a hottie."

"I could not say either way, sir."

"Oh, come on, I bet you have some passionate love affair shit going on - Bacon of Delight, tea, if you give me a lemon I'm gonna piss all over your floors."

"We also have an excellent cleaning staff, sir. I will bring you your orders promptly."

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"... thank you!" says Caden, to the retreating form of the waiter.

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"Was that super necessary?"

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"Ayep."

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“... ‘kay.”

 

Conversation is a little stilted, after that. They get their food - Braldey does not, as it transpires, need to piss on their floors - and then they can make their separate ways.

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“I’m, um, torn between wanting to avoid gossiping behind people’s backs, and, um...” 

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“Speculating about why he’s like that? I don’t think it’s super ordinary, telling your waiter to suck your cock if they want a tip - I mean, he was joking, it was obvious the whole time that he was joking, Trevor kept laughing, just...”

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“He’s still very attractive and there’s still this layer of - desperation for human connection - there, that I’m sympathetic to, but I don’t think I want to spend much time with him.”

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“Same.”

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