A boat. 

I see.

I'll see if I can find anything on shipbuilding techniques or the price of boats for you?

I mean, you can if you want to but I'm not going to -

I'm not unhappy about this because you're insufficiently helpful and it's not like if you help enough I'll decide I want you around. It's not even because you're human. I talk to my family every couple decades, got it? I don't know what's supposed to change in the next hundred years but it isn't just the cities smelling less.

Yeah, but - you're the only person I have at all, OK, and you don't have to like me, but as long as we have any bridge at all then it would be stupid to burn it, given general lack of legal rights or money or independent access to food or to anyone else with telepathy or anyone else who can fight or anyone else who - and I don't even know if that's it, OK, maybe I just miss the other you, and I know you're not him, and I know you're not gonna be him, not while I'm around, and that's fine, but -

Maybe if she sends memories. Maybe that'll capture the thing she's trying to say. Maybe it'll just make everything worse, but it's something to try, some attempt at an explanation. She sends - Alex, teaching gym class for the first time, telling everyone that it's important but he's going to give everyone an A anyway, giving everyone cookies for pushing themselves, having the time of his life demonstrating stances and correcting kids as they practice. Alex, telling her a couple weeks ago that he likes her classmates, that he never used to like humans but that everyone is awful to kids. Alex, teaching her archery and how to fire machine guns and how to take vampires out without killing them. Alex, listing off to Wyndam-Pryce her various positive qualities and all of the things they've covered together. Alex, stabbing Zeke in the arm before being blown away. Alex, telling her that she did good at killing him. Alex, informing her that she's entirely completely safe at summer camp, but that she should come home anyway if it's making her unhappy. Alex, instructing other students during archery club. Alex, telling her why she shouldn't feel sorry for Wesley. Alex, distraught over the death of Herbert the pig. Alex, listing off his reasons why he's not a good person. Alex, crying in the bathroom over her classmate's body and giving her the words to Antony's speech. Alex, upset about being mistaken for God, because God tortures people if he thinks it's a fitting end for them. Alex, informing her that she should have checked on whether Macalaurë was actually validly a priest. Alex, one day ago, asking for a hug and then correcting himself and then telling her I'm so sorry and that she shouldn't die. 

They're all jumbled up, fuzzy around the edges, more a sense of a person in places than real memory, but they're what she has.

I miss him. If someone asked me right now whether I wanted to trade an arm to have him here, I wouldn't even ask which one they wanted. He's a really great person, and if he were here he'd know what to do, or have some idea what we should be doing, and - and I'm sorry for expecting anything of you, OK, I really am, it's not fair at all to you and I'm trying not to do it, I just - 

I'm sorry. It's just - it's been a rough day, and my brain isn't working right, and it's not your problem and you don't have to deal with it but - that's what it is.

He seems neat. He's just - not me, and I don't know what the missing element is and you clearly don't either. - does God torture humans after they die?

There is debate. I tend to think that hell is more the absence of all the good stuff that comes from God and not a bunch of specifically terrible stuff made to torment people, but he definitely lets some people go to somewhere that isn't full of roses and sunshine.

Well, that's fucking fantastic.

- and we're - doing something about it?

It's on your to-do list. We're - trying. To make things less messed up. You, uh, the other you, this is one of the things we kind of don't perfectly agree on, you - Alex doesn't think there's any one place that's really hell, there are just lots and lots of really bad places. I went to one, once, chasing the hallucinatory dream silmaril, to this hell where the demon who eats babies lives. I could send it but I don't know if you'd want to see.

You're not gonna shock me.

So she sends Lurconis's hell, as well as she remembers it.

So the plan is - clear them all out, and then people'll keep getting sent there but it won't be so bad?

I don't think you're really that far along on the plan thing.

Well, it sounds like we'd just started. But we can start earlier this time.

....yeah, I guess you can. Uh - I don't super have anything better to do. If you need anyone who knows anything about anything. Although I do have to save the psychic seer who is otherwise going to be tortured to death by demons, I do actually think that I should do that before she gets tortured into insanity and turned into a superpowered monster. But after that, if you wanna figure out the logistics of clearing out Lurconis's hell and all of the other terrible places, I think my schedule is open.

Let's go get her, explain everything, try to convince her to come with us. If there are a bunch of people trying to torture her to death I think we have a compelling pitch. Then we've got to get home. 

Yeah. Sounds like a plan.

- uh, I don't actually know where she is. I know that she's Catholic and I know that she is or will be training to be a nun, which, uh, does narrow it down some, since most people around here are not Catholic, but - I don't super have an address or anything.

I'm going to attract a lot of attention, in the city. Everyone who sees me knows I'm not human.

- probably not literally all of them, but yeah. I - might need to think about how to track her down. I guess I can start by beating up vampires, there's like a nonzero chance that they might know about the other powerful vampires hanging out stalking people and murdering all of their relatives.

Seems like the kind of thing I'd keep track of if I were a vampire.

Yeah. I, uh - I think I can probably handle beating up normal vampires alone, if you don't wanna be going around in the city, but I should probably have a bow and arrows on me just in case anything unexpected happens.

Working on it. If you go into the city with a wet scarf around your face it helps a bit with the air.

Thanks. I'll do that.

We don't have a place to meet yet, so - I guess we should head out, find something landmark-y away from the city that I can find again, you can make some arrows, and then I can work on beating up vampires?

All right.

Cool.

They'll have to go a ways outside the city to find any particularly recognizable buildings, but eventually there's a tall church by a road that Karen's pretty sure she can find again.

All right, have fun.