It's sort of unfortunate that, since basically all of his backlash right now is settled in nice and cosily chronic, he doesn't get the rush of the marked improvement of acute backlash going away over the course of these proceedings. It still feels better than anything else does in his wretched life so he can't really find it in himself to complain, however uncharacteristic that may be. He's going to make Haru feel good, and that will help. Both of them.

A comfortable routine is easy to establish. With Jaeha now tolerating lengthier periods of braceletless time, Haru comes to the silo every afternoon and again every evening after a dungeon, chats and snuggles (over dinner, if applicable), hops into bed one way or the other with Jaeha, and falls asleep with him to have that much more backlash chipped away by morning; they usually have breakfast together but Haru runs off to the rest of his activities after that.

The problem with comfortable routines and holding patterns is that they're not real. At least, not in Jaeha's experience, they aren't. There's always stuff happening, stuff changing, there's always something.

To wit, he's developing feelings for Haru.

He is so fucking stupid.

Again, it bears reiterating: he has had several sex partners in his life, several esper partners, and he didn't grow to like them as much as he's doing Haru, as much as he did Lee Tae-gun. He doesn't fall in love easily. It's only happened the once. And he thought, perhaps stupidly, that that was a fluke, that something like that could never happen again, or even if it could it certainly wasn't going to, what with how he was about to spend the rest of his life in prison. But he isn't in prison anymore, and it may be about to happen a second time.

Is it Stockholm Syndrome? Except that's not a real thing. And besides, it wouldn't even work? He doesn't need to "please his captor". Haru has made that abundantly clear, that he will continue to be a good and decent and principled person no matter what. That, in itself, is a big part of the problem, isn't it? And maybe that's Jaeha's type, it's people who are inherently good like that. Lee Tae-gun was, Haru is. And, well, the compatibility doesn't hurt, either, certainly, but Jaeha is pretty sure it's not just compatibility. He doesn't think he's that shallow. Or he doesn't like to think that he's that shallow, at least, he'd hate being that shallow. But he can think of several things he likes about Haru that are his personality, not how good it is to touch him—and, actually, when Jaeha is wearing his bracelet, he still likes Haru, so, yeah, there's that.

He is so, so fucking stupid.

What is he going to do with those feelings? Fucking, nothing, is what. Obviously. Like, come on, maybe they can be friends, maybe they can have cool conversations and have interesting things to say and enjoy spending time in each other's company, despite the power difference, but—any more than that? That'd definitely cross the line all the way to power abuse. No matter that it's Jaeha who's feeling it, not Haru.

Jaeha doesn't like it. He doesn't like it one bit. That doesn't make it stop, though.

He is so, so, so fucking stupid.

To: traceless@traceless.com
From: fugimura.hana@quasarguild.co.kr

Traceless,

It's come to my attention that you've gained custody over the psychic esper Jaeha Kang, so that his one of a kind power can still be leveraged for the good of the overall world. I cannot overstate my support for this endeavor, and the only reason I haven't donated money to this cause is that you don't need it. My name is Hana Fugimura, and I'm a psychic esper specializing in empathy. You may or may not be aware that I was the one who stopped him from committing suicide after his last foray into Nightmare.

I'd like to offer my professional services for therapeutic purposes towards Mr. Kang's mental health and wellbeing. The specifics of my abilities and the requisite consent forms are listed on my website, which I have recently had translated into English. The short explanation of what I think would be most useful in this case would be to use my empathy to eliminate unwanted emotional reactions to both long and short term memories, but alternative uses are listed here. Anything I do needs to be with expressed consent of the patient, and is meant to be used in addition to therapy, not replacing it, but he knows his mind better than I do.

I have sent several e-mails to Mr. Kang in the past, but I'm unsure if they made it to him, due to the circumstances of his incarceration and subsequent cutoff from the outside world. I understand if he would be uncomfortable interacting with me, because of the circumstances of our last meeting. However, I want to stress that I would be working with him in a professional capacity, and I put my patients' mental health needs above everything else. If he would still rather not, I understand, and sincerely wish him well on his path to recovery.

On a personal note, I'd like to thank you for stepping up to rehabilitate Mr. Kang. I have had some of your blog translated, and between its contents and your location in Canada, I do not think there is a more qualified person in the world for this task. You are doing excellent work.

-Fugimura Hana

This e-mail has been translated from its original Japanese by Toshio Takano.

"Hey Jaeha, had any thoughts lately on the getting a therapist concept, I got an email that is relevant to that possibility."

"...not any novel ones. Should I have?"

"Not necessarily. You remember Fugimura Hana? She sent me an email."

He freezes, then straightens up and puts his knife and fork down, looking at Haru intently. "Yes," he says slowly. "I remember Fugimura Hana. Quite well."

"...what are you looking at me like that for."

He blinks a few times then looks away. "Sorry. Just. You know. The horrors. She was the one who..."

"Yes, I know. Uh, she's pro," general gesture around the cottage, "the project. Said she emailed you a few times but wasn't sure if you got the messages."

"I... see."

"I can drop it?"

"I just," what does he just, "want to never ever have any effects on the lives of Lee Tae-gun or Kim Hye-jin ever again, and she's..."

"Not either of them. But in the same guild, yes."

"And partnered with their best friend."

"Well, she does have a reason to be good at information airlocking, I don't think you need to worry about - contaminating their experiences of their lives."

"I feel like a person who has it together more than I do would not be having this issue," he says, deciding that that is a neutral-enough phrasing for the thing he's actually thinking. Also, a person who has it together more than he does would keep eating breakfast and that is an action he can straightforwardly take.

"Is there anything I can do to help besides dropping it?"

"...forward me it?"

"...okay." He does this.

He grabs his phone, checks that he received the email, then puts his phone away and gets back to his food.

"This is good, by the way." Om nom nom hotteok.

"I'm glad this skill has continued to serve its purpose."

"...its purpose? Is its purpose something other than having tasty food?"