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Jane Russell
"The Erogamer"
LVL: 1 (0%)
Stats
DOM: 30/130
SUB: 50/280
BOD: 13 (+)
LST: 12 (+)
SED: 8 (+)
FUK: 8 (+)
PRV: 12 (+)
ERO: 10 (+)
Points: 5
Money:Status Effects: 'Innocent' Virgin
Description: Jane Russell is a college freshmen majoring in Undecided, currently recovering from being dumped by her high school boyfriend three weeks into a long-distance relationship which he swore would be just fine and she had nothing to worry about. Unbeknownst to her, something called the "Erogame" has just decided to help with that.'
Skills:
Erogamer's Body (Lvl MAX): The biological ability to live your life as an erogame. Venereal disease doesn't exist for you, or pregnancies or periods. Arbitrarily large appendages can fit inside any of your orifices. You heal from all injuries with a good night's sleep, ready for the next day's adventures. Other aspects of this skill depend on the BOD stat.
Erogamer's Mind (Lvl MAX): The mental flexibility to live your life as an erogame. You're more able to accept the realities of your new world. You'll also bounce back from painful, upsetting and bizarre sexual experiences with relative ease. Rape can be anything from a recoverable trauma to a Tuesday afternoon, but it won't ruin your life. Other aspects of this skill depend on the FUK, SED, LST, and PRV stats.Erogamer's World (Lvl MAX): The consent of reality to live your life as an erogame. People are never too preoccupied to consider sex or romance, not while you're around. Bystanders won't ignore what you do, but they're unlikely to actually stop you. Those who do decide to involve themselves are drawn into the logic of the Erogame. If you go far enough that an authority sees no choice but to intervene… they won't treat you as a simple criminal. Other aspects of this skill depend on the ERO stat.
To Mine Own Me Be True (Lvl MAX): Even at the center of the Erogame, you are not just an erogame character, but a human being possessed of her own free will. Your family will always be safe from you, and little children everywhere.
Perks:
Everything's Better With Ero: On every quest and every path you walk, taking the option that turns you on more will never lead to worse results in the long run than taking the option that seems safe, sensible, and practical. This perk does not operate by reducing the rewards of safe, sensible, practical-seeming paths.
Info // Status Effects// 'Innocent' Virgin
Merely existing in the age of the Internet has already raised your PRV stat above 10. Still, until you choose to lose your virginity, the Erogame will not force you to give it up.
Info // Character Stats // Level:
At LVL 1, and 0% progress toward the next level, you'll never be this weak again. You can increase your level by completing the quests the Erogame offers you, or by causing romantic and sexual events to happen to you or around you. The more difficult the challenge, the greater the rewards.
Info // Character Stats // Body:
With the average being 10, and perfect 10s being 40, your BOD of 13 is above average pretty. You'll never be the most head-turning girl in your class, but you're no slacker either.
You can increase this stat through exhibitionism, and other acts that invoke the pure beauty and power of your physical form.
Info // Character Stats // Lust:
At a LST of 12, you usually have to jerk off to go to sleep, but it doesn't bother you that much the rest of the time.
You gain in this stat while experiencing sexual urges that are unusually intense or that go on unusually long.
Info // Character Stats // Seduction:
Your SED of 8 reflects less your innate charm and more the fact that seducing guys your own age mostly requires the ability to go "hey, wanna fuck?"
You can increase this stat by arousing the romantic interest or sexual desire of others, and successfully pursuing them or being caught.
Info // Character Stats // Fucking:
Your FUK of 8 shows that, while being thoughtful and considerate counts, and a strong grasp of the relative theory counts, there's only so far you can get without hands-on experience.
How do you increase this stat? Take a guess.
Info // Character Stats // Perversion:
Your PRV of 12 shows that you have looked for porn upon the Internet, and managed not to completely avoid the dubious products of Rule 34. But you're still not quite sure what you like yet.
You can increase this stat by being a little less close-minded, and acting accordingly.
Info // Character Stats // Erogame Logic:
At an ERO of 10, your life has become an erogame taking place in a mostly realistic setting. What happens to you might seem unlikely to others, but it won't break their belief in a sane universe… yet. Witnesses will reach for explanations other than the Erogame, but they'll still notice the unusual events.
If you keep pushing probability to its limits, then probability will learn to be a bit more flexible down there, relax and take it in and not protest so much.
Info // Character Stats // Dominant and Submissive Energy:
If this were a different game, you'd have mana and hit points, and they'd refill from you sitting on your ass.
LOL.
Mesmer Inoculant is the first time the Erogame has demanded a perk point to not do something. Two perk points, in fact, which means no matter how much part of her feels she's obligated to protect the world from the Erogame's mind-control, she can't do it right now. Why is the Erogame so reluctant to give up on mind control? Jane is puzzled—until she realizes that of course many of the things the Erogame claims to be able to do would be awfully difficult without mind control. She guesses maybe they could be achieved by "probability alteration", but she's not sure what that would even mean. Suddenly she's not so sure turning off mind control is a good idea. She doesn't want to mind control anyone for selfish reasons, but what about self-defense? And the Erogame might have a harder time keeping her safe behind the scenes if it can't just Jedi mind trick someone into not hurting her. For all she knows, the Erogame could plan on doing a lot of that behind the scenes without her ever noticing. And Everything's Better With Ero is a perk—does she want to risk significantly weakening its effects?
Milliways could be entertaining—or annoying if she has no control over when ordinary doors suddenly become doors to an interdimensional bar. Naked Before Me has a a similar potential to be either annoying or entertaining. "No" seems worth keeping a perk point in reserve for. Not Safe For Wizards is just bizarre—is this a TV show she's never heard of? And Perfect Sadist is like James Bondage, maybe useful in the future but no reason to take it now.
Real Scientist: Your unusual experiences have given you insight into open questions in human sexuality, leading you to form new testable hypotheses. You instinctively understand experimental methodology and statistics. So long as you report your outcomes honestly, other scientists will discuss your results seriously; and overlook your lack of credentials along with any questions about the morality or possibility of your experiments. You can write proficiently in LaTeX if you are wearing latex. If you simultaneously hold the perks Mad Inventor, Mad Scientist, and Real Scientist, you become able to develop reproducible technology, including the experimental apparatus required for others to further investigate and extend your discoveries. An actual PhD in a scientific field, acquired the hard way, can substitute for the Real Scientist perk in this trinity. 1 point. Available at 30 ERO. Never refunded.
S/layer: In every generation there is a chosen one. S/he alone will stand against and/or lie down with the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. S/he is the S/layer. 1 point. Available at 55 ERO. Refunded at 80 ERO. Everything's Better With Ero Certified!
Seduce Contain Protect: You are a magnet for any person or sapient entity with a significant chance of producing global catastrophe. They will inevitably cross paths with you and find you highly attractive. 1 point. Available. Never refunded. Everything's Better With Ero Certified!
Sin Of: You may take this perk only once. Choose:
- Envy: Take over another person's life. Everyone in the world now believes unshakably that you are they. The displaced person no longer exists.
- Gluttony: You never get tired, bored, or over-satiated during any pleasurable act, no matter how long it continues. You may accumulate unlimited DOM and SUB from such acts.
- Greed: You find a winning lottery ticket with the lump-sum cash payout option selected. After all taxes are paid, your after-tax winnings are a bit over $100,000,000.
- Lust: At will, you may temporarily increase your LST and/or PRV to any higher level you wish, for as long as you wish, up to a maximum of 100.
- Pride: All stats and skills increase faster.
- Sloth: Removes all time limits for acceptance or completion of quests. Negates or softens all other visible deadlines for accomplishing anything within the Erogame or your life.
- Wrath: Instantly kill anyone you choose. Bypassing quest challenges in this way will reduce their rewards. You may invoke this perk an unlimited number of times.
1 point. Available. Never refunded.
Skip the Boring Parts: Invoking this perk gives you a SED*1% chance to transition directly to whatever sexual encounter (if any) you would otherwise have with a person. You can only invoke this perk on a particular person once. This perk cannot be used to bypass quest-related challenges. 1 point. Available. Refunded at 40 SED.
Damn, the Mad Inventor / Mad Scientist / Real Scientist trinity is powerful. She's not sure how she feels about the amount of collateral weirdness involved in getting ERO 30, but it's an important option to be aware of. And she guesses she could start with Mad Scientist, which doesn't have an ERO requirement, though given that she's yet to acquire any skills beyond the ones she started with, she's not sure how much immediate utility it would have.
Laying down with vampires is the first perk option that really makes her think that could be hot rather than that could be useful. Maybe she should take it? If everything really is better with ero, you could argue that playing it safe actually means doing whatever makes her horniest. Except it requires a whopping 55 ERO, which isn't in reach even if she blew all her stat points on it. And she's even less comfortable with that much collateral weirdness than she is with the collateral weirdness required for the Science! trinity.
But seeing S/layer on her perks list—along with the SCP perk—has another upside, forcing her to realize just how willing the Erogame apparently is to create monsters from whole cloth if it would make her horny. Well, the perk descriptions don't say they world isn't already crawling with vampires, demons, and multiple global catastrophic threats, but it seems unlikely. Which probably means I See You shouldn't be interpreted as meaning the world is already full of invisible monsters she'll be forever oblivious to if she doesn't take the perk. Good to know.
Most of the Sin Of perks sound dangerous... and kind of disturbing, especially combined with everything else she's seen so far. Rather than the benevolent alien boyfriend she'd been imagining while jerking off, it was more like a wizard had shown up on her doorstep saying, "Hello m'lady, my name is Merlin, I am at m'lady's service. What do you want me to do? Make you rich? Turn you into a vampire? Kill everyone you dislike? I will even stop mind controlling people if m'lady insists, though I'd really rather not do that."
Though she has to admit Sin of Greed doesn't sound too bad. A quick Google search confirms her memory that the whole idea of lottery winners usually winding up broke and miserable is a myth. The worst thing about Sin of Greed might be the risk that it could be a waste of a perk. Licensing mad science inventions could make her a billionaire, not just a multimillionaire, if she decides to go that route. Or she could just crank up her BOD and have a career as a supermodel. And if the Erogame is like other video games, she can expect to get quests with escalating monetary rewards as she rises in level. If a perk could be rendered superfluous three different ways just off the top of her head, maybe it isn't so useful.
Skip the Boring Parts sounds uncomfortably mind-controlly, and maybe not even useful given that, as she was reminded when the Erogame started, right now nothing is stopping her from just asking boys "want to fuck?"
Slightly Smarter: The cognitive subprocesses comprising your soul improve slightly in efficiency and computational power, corresponding to a rough gain of 3 points of IQ as it would be measured by contemporary tests. This increase in intelligence is not a game feature; it is real and applies to the true inner you. You may take this perk more than once. This perk is incompatible with Slightly Stupider, and you cannot choose one after having taken the other. 1 point. Available. Never refunded.
Slightly Stupider: The cognitive subprocesses comprising your soul decrease slightly in efficiency and computational power, corresponding to a rough loss of 3 points of IQ as it would be measured by contemporary tests. This decrease in intelligence is not a game feature; it is real and applies to the true inner you. Gain two additional perk points, for a net gain of one perk. You may take this perk any number of times, but you must have one perk point available to start each such series. This perk is incompatible with Slightly Smarter, and you cannot choose one after having taken the other. 1 point. Available. Never refunded.
To Boldly Come Where No One Has Come Before: You somehow get your hands on a starship, enabling you to visit nearby star systems and meet the many interesting and nubile life forms to be found there. 1 point + 1 fragment. Available at 55 ERO. Refunded at 85 ERO.
Truth: Regardless of any other Erogame perks taken and any other powers affecting you, you regain your memories of who you really are, what really happened, and what reality was like before. No further such effects can deceive you. Think hard before taking this perk. 1 point. Available. Never refunded.
Wait I'm Not Ready For This: You may delay up to 10 points of gain in each stat, and up to 5 Lvls of gain in each skill, until you permit it to go through. This does not otherwise affect rates of experience gain or the leveling curve. Permittance may be done partially. Permittance is irrevocable. When first taking this perk, you may apply it retroactively to any gains within the last week. 1 point + 1 fragment. Available. Never refunded.
Zombie Sexpocalypse: An extremely contagious virus turns 99.99% of the human population into sex-maddened creatures bent on fucking anything within reach. You, and everyone you personally like, are among those naturally immune to the disease. While most of the infected die quickly, some retain sufficient intelligence to become hominid animals living off the wilds or on food stores. Defending against their rapes and thefts is an ongoing problem requiring the survivors to band together. Some partially-immune survivors have greatly increased LST and PRV. Use this perk if you're tired of living in a complicated technological civilization. Think carefully before taking this perk, as I Regret My Life Choices may lead to the plague being cured or the zombies dying out, but will not undo the previous effects. 1 point. Available at 30 ERO. Refunded at 80 ERO.
Given that there are only so many perks she actually wants, it seems likely she'll take Slightly Smarter eventually. Which makes passing on Slightly Stupider an easy choice—it's unfortunately it rules out taking Slightly Smarter, otherwise she could "borrow" perk points using her brain as collateral.
To Boldly Come only makes sense given the other "turn your life into genre fiction" perks.
Truth is... unsettling. Jane can't help but notice that she got stat points to distribute at 1st level, but no perk point. Or did she? What if at 1st level she took one of those perks that makes you forget the perk exists?
Wait, I'm Not Ready For This looks like the safety valve she initially thought Innocence Temporarily Regained was. Glad to know that's there.
And finally, the last perk on the list...
WHAT!?
WHY!?
Sin of Wrath was bad enough, but she'd have to be very committed to mass-murder to kill any significant fraction of the Earth's population one at a time. But now the Erogame is telling her that once she reaches 30 ERO she'll basically be handed the equivalent of the nuclear codes. This is a good reason to never, ever reach 30 ERO if at all possible. Even if she can pull that off, the mere existence of this option is making her brain want to jump out of her skull.
Maybe she should just take a relatively harmless perk NOW, to make absolutely certain she doesn't somehow wind up taking a more disturbing option in the future. The memory-tampering perks have her freaked out enough that she's tempted to take Truth immediately. But the perk description tells her to think carefully before taking it, and—
Oh crap I forgot to eat dinner. If she sits around contemplating the Erogame any longer, things are going to start closing and her dinner options will be severely constrained.
But she has one thing to do first: being the prettiest girl in the room is a nice start, but she'd rather be the prettiest girl in the school, at the very least. She hits the "+" sign next to BOD ten times—she can figure out what to do with the other half of her stat points later. Raising SED might be a good idea, but if 30 BOD is enough to get the boys fighting to seduce her, FUK might be more useful for keeping a guy. (The idea of significantly raising LST, PRV, or ERO is still too intimidating at the moment.)
With that, she pulls her pants back up and heads off to dinner.
Esther Kane, the pretty girl from Jane's class, is in line at dinner.
"You're new."
"No I'm not," Jane stammers.
"No I'm not"? What are you doing Jane. Stay cool.
"We have class together. I'm Jane?"
She maybe should not have made that last statement sound like a question.
"--oh, that's embarrassing, I'm sorry. I could have sworn I've never seen you before."
Jane, panicking that she totally didn't think through the implications of raising her BOD 17 points in a few hours, opens her mouth to argue that she really is Jane, Esther's classmate, only to realize after an awkward pause that Esther already believes her. So instead, she says, "Esther, right?"
"Yes."
Esther begins to fidget. Because of who Esther is as a person, this means she stands en pointe and spins around slowly.
Possible unexpected side-benefit of suddenly becoming much hotter: maybe the pretty girl who was previously too cool to hang out with me will want to be my friend?
"Are you a dancer?"
"Used to be a professional at the NYC Ballet but then I got a career-ending knee injury."
"Wow. I mean I'm sorry. I mean the knee injury sucks, but also it's impressive you got that far?"
Also, are you going to dance your way through the lunch line now? Jane wonders as the line starts moving again.
Esther is absolutely going to dance her way through the lunch line.
"Well, I really loved dancing. --What about you? What do you do for fun?"
Quest Available: Lesbian Until Graduation
You're straight... at least so far. But sexuality is fluid and college is a time for experimentation. And Esther is really pretty.
Success: +10,000 XP, +1 LST, The Nectar skill
Failure: ???
"For fun I like to... uh... sit in my dorm room, listening to Adele, feeling sad about Ryan dumping me."
Keeping this conversation going without looking like an idiot (or even while looking like an idiot) is taking too much attention for her to think about how she feels about the quest that just popped up. She really should have raised her SED.
"Right..." Jane says, shrinking with embarrassment. She begins assembling a burger, glad for something to do while she tries to think of what to say next "So what do you like to do for fun? Besides dancing your way through the dinner line?"
"Oh, you know. Wild parties, Burning Man, spinning poi, writing poetry, proving theorems, my homework. The usual."
"Sorry. I don't know anything about ballet, I didn't know if it was like acting where you can have a career from when you're five. You, uh, probably know a lot of stuff about a lot of things I know nothing about. Like, what's burning man like?"
"Entirely too many people walking on their hands. I did not feel special at all."