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Tintin at some point died and went to the Underworld
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Zagreus, god of who the fuck even knows, son of Hades, god of the dead, is trying to escape his father's realm. His father does not like this, as he is very adamant about not letting anyone escape the Underworld, even for extremely good reasons such as "I want to meet my mother" or actually "the Underworld is TERRIBLE and BORING someone LET ME OUTTTTTT". So Hades has put a number of obstacles in Zagreus's way, including: floating skulls, witches that shoot balls of energy, magic crystals that shoot lasers, Zagreus's ex-girlfriend, jumping explosive skeletons, sentient falling boulders, lava pits, the undead skeleton of the infamous Hydra with all of the heads this implies, various shades of the erstwhile heroes of the living, pink spheres that generate butterflies, traps, and ash urns that shoot missiles.

These things, while very deadly and harmful, can do nothing to break Zagreus's spirit. They can break Zagreus's bones, sure, and kill him many times over, but he gets better, and comes back for more.

He has killed his ex-girlfriend a few times and boy howdy if she was already pissed at him over their relationship the whole murder thing did not help matters; some Nectar of the Gods has been offered as a peace gesture but she has not taken it that kindly either. He has defeated the remains of the Lernaean Hydra a couple of times, even though it is a very sharp Hydra with lots of bony apendages. He has walked through the idyllic fields of Elysium, which are filled with traps and murderous ghosts and all in all much less idyllic than he had hoped.

And he knows the gate is right there, it's close, he can feel it in his bones. There is only one last challenge.

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And he did not expect the one last challenge to be Theseus, the First King of Athens, side-by-side with the Bull of Minos in the Elysian coliseum.

"Theseus?! The Bull of Minos?! You two are legends! I-I'd be honored if we had a sporting contest here, sirs!"

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"Ah, a naked attempt to sway me from my convictions. Well, it won't work, fiend! You'll not walk one more step towards the light of day, so long as I am here!"

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The crowd cheers. Apparently they like this sort of thing.

(A voice from the front row yells "Why are you like this?" in a mildly despairing tone.)

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"—your convictions?"

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Snort. "We have been tasked with preventing your incursion into the realm of the living," says the bull.

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"A mission we do with utmost vigor and zeal, for if we were to sway from our duty the likes of you would roam free from the Underworld! Your rampage ends here, blackguard, at the hands of Theseus and Asterius!"

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The crowd roars at the name drop.

("We already know your name!" yells the opinionated shade in the front row.)

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"No, I, wait what?" Theseus is an asshole. No one told him Theseus was an asshole. "I—suppose—my father must have put you up to this and said whatever he said—" The Prince of the Underworld sighs heavily, but then lifts his sword into a ready stance—not as good as he can usually be, he is already bleeding from several shallow wounds and a couple less shallow ones, but he can't not try. "On your guard, then."

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"May the gods show you some mercy, for I shall not!"

He really, really doesn't. Maybe Zagreus would be able to figure out a way past his hoplon, if he were at full strength and not constantly harried by the Bull of Minos, but it's the sort of thing Zagreus would have to really work for. As it is now, well. It is at least a mercifully short trouncing, and soon enough Theseus is standing over the young god with his spear pointed at his throat.

"If you are so foolish as to come so far to lose to us again, you will need to do better than that. This was hardly a fight worthy of our adoring audience!"

And then he makes for the killing stab—

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-and amidst all the cheering, somebody throws a fist-sized rock at his head.

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Somebody has excellent aim! Thonk.

"Ow!" says Theseus, who is not wearing a helmet because that would get in the way of his pretty face, "Audience, I am unhappy at the length of the bout as well, but that's no reason to take it out on me!"

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"You sanctimonious bullying prick I hope your next bout cuts your balls off-"

The opinionated shade is restrained by his neighbors before he can lob another rock. Somebody starts the "THE-SE-US!" chant back up, and it goes from ragged back to overpowering in moments.

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...well at least someone else realises what a raging asshole Theseus is.

"Finish this, king," he spits out, saying the word in the way only a god can mean it.

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He does.

As deaths go, it's not too bad. Definitely beats burning to death, or ripped apart by witch magic. So that's nice. Probably. That's probably nice.

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He barely feels it. At least he barely feels it as he dissolves into the Styx, slipping into unconsciousness and being taken back to his father's halls.

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A familiar-looking shade pops out of the pool a few seconds after he does, and looks around appraisingly.

"Huh. Déjà vu."

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There are many shades coming out of that pool fairly often, so the Prince of the Underworld, who walked all the way past the line of shades and is now looking around for something, does not immediately look.

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The god of sleep, however, does—almost as if it's his job. He blinks when he sees that new shade with a "I've seen you before," then looks at his little list. "Huh! Killed by other shades, that doesn't happen often!"

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"I have a talent for making friends," the shade says modestly.

Then his eyes light on Zagreus, and he lights up, cutting in line remorselessly to get closer to him. "Prince Zagreus! I saw - um - I was - hello, my Prince!"

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The Prince had started walking towards whatever is to the left of Hades's desk from where the shade is standing but stops when he hears his title called. "Oh, hello," he greets. "—did I see you in the coliseum just now?"

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"Um! Yes, actually! I was - the one with the rock. And the swearing."

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"Oh, the one with good taste. I appreciated the rock, King Theseus definitely had it coming." He stops walking when he's close enough to the shade that they don't need to shout and—he's short. Not objectively, but for a god? Definitely diminutive.

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Well, the shade is short even for not-a-god. He's very slight, as well - just generally unimposing. He's very pretty, though! And he's got a bit more color, a bit more vitality than most of the shades around the Halls.

"I'm - that is, my name is Agatinos. It's really an honor to meet you!" He extends his hand halfway towards a handshake, then thinks better of it and starts to bow. "Um, both as the Prince and - sort of the opposite of that?"

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Zagreus makes sure to grab Agatinos's hand before he finishes drawing it back and gives it a firm shake. "Well, it is a pleasure to meet you both as an individual and as apparently the only shade in all of Elysium who is not actively trying to kill me, cheering for my death, or passively standing around while any of those happen! And—the opposite of being a Prince?"

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"Um - your. Very public undermining of your lord father. By repeatedly attempting to escape his dread domain. I think it's good."

Agatinos cannot quite help looking nervously at Zagreus' lord father, who is maybe fifty feet away, as he says this. But he does not whisper it, just says it matter-of-factly.

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