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ichorous april has a time in mass effect
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Trust. Yeah, right.

She keeps going, though.

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After another couple office hallways, she comes out into a room containing several mechs with their guns trained on a black-and-white-uniformed woman roiling with blue energy. She tosses a spherical biotic field at the mechs, eliciting a substantial explosion. Then she turns to face June, pistol readied but not aimed.

She breaks into a massive grin. "Boss! Damn, I thought you were dead!"

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"I'm not totally sure I'm not a zombie," she says, but she's smiling.

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"No, yeah, I was joking, you were totally dead. Burnt hamburger, I think was the phrase going around the labs. But - you know. Project Lazarus, all that jazz."

There's a distant explosion. "Uh, on that note, let's maybe get the fuck out of here."

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"Sure thing. You can explain what the fuck is happening on the way."

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Zanna leads the way, occasionally breaking up her monologue with gunfire and explosions.

"So. Let's start with the obvious: you, June Shepard, died. It was pretty fucking awful. The squad made it out okay - only lost noncombat crew. Which, you know, still sucks. But... CO dead, no ship, nobody's sticking around. Squad split up - Alliance crew got reassigned, sundry aliens took a hike. I was one of the ones got reassigned. They tried me on the Waterloo, the Agincourt, the Odesa - but, uh, turns out I don't do so hot with a rigid command structure when my CO isn't my best friend. I ended up honorably discharged and mad as fuck about it. That's when I got the call."

She fingers a vaguely familiar emblem on her lapel.

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June squints at it.

 

"So," she says. "Any good reasons why I shouldn't just let this place explode?"

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"It's... yeah, a few. Let me finish, okay?"

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"All right, I'm listening. Grudgingly."

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"So - I'm not - blaming you for dying. That'd be fucking stupid. But - you weren't there. You know? So when Miranda called me I maybe wasn't in the best place. And she told me that I was being a little bitch, and that if I didn't shape up I was going to die in a gutter, and incidentally did I want a job. And - I asked basically the same thing you're asking. Why the fuck would I work for Cerberus after the shit they've pulled. And... she said 'because the Reapers are coming, and nobody else gives a damn. If you want to talk about our methods, we'll listen, but the water's rising and you can either help or get out.'"

She sighs. "And - she was right. She's always right, it pisses me off. The Council doesn't give a shit about the Reapers - it was obvious before you died, but it got fucking Kafkaesque. The Alliance, some of them say they believed you, but it doesn't amount to anything. And. This is what Cerberus was made for. Literally. This is what it's always been about. Building a power base to fight the Reapers. They've done - really fucked-up shit. I know that. But - I dunno. They're doing what matters."

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"...the Council... doesn't give a shit... about the Reapers. Did they not fucking notice Sovereign shoving his stupid fucking spaceship tentacles up their collective sorry ass, or—" She sighs. "Ugh."

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"Yeah, they've moved to the official position that the Reapers are a 'fringe theory' that Saren subscribed to, and Sovereign was a Geth flagship. Nevermind that Morty knew in five seconds that it didn't match their profile, or that the Geth never had that kind of tech, or... nope."

She grimaces. "They gave you a memorial flame, by the way. On Akuze. I wish we'd let the Destiny Ascension get shot down."

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"...fuckers. I'm gonna go there and eat it—no," sigh, "I've got better things to do."

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"Good to hear being a zombie didn't fix your verbal tics. Goddamn, I missed hearing you threaten to eat random objects."

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She snickers, then shakes her head.

"Okay, for real though, the fuck is all this." (An encompassing gesture.) "Am I literally standing in the Cerberus necromancy facility?"

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"You are more or less literally standing in the Cerberus necromancy facility. When the ship went down over Alchera, Miranda... did something spooky to get her hands on your remains. And then she spent something like a billion credits on experimental medical technology, cybernetics, and a shit-ton of weirder stuff, and she... fixed you."

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There's a muffled gunshot from the next room, and the sound of organic matter splattering against a wall.

A smiling woman in an unusual uniform opens the door as a body slumps to the ground. "I don't want to take all the credit. Shepard was probably the most cooperative cadaver I've ever had the pleasure to work on."

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"Okay, assuming until proven otherwise that you fucked my corpse, got it."

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Miranda laughs. "If I'd any idea how charming you were in person I'm sure I'd have waited!"

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She flips her off, but in a more friendly way than previously. "Okay, are we getting out of here or what?"

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"Less you two wanna flirt some more," Zanna snorts, pushing past Miranda. She pauses, looking at the corpse also in the docking bay. "What'd Wilson do to piss you off, Lawson?"

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"Betrayed our location to an army of mechs," Miranda says, opening the door to a compact little shuttle. "Right, everybody in."

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June will get in the shuttle, although she keeps her scavenged weapon in hand as she does.

"So!" she says. "Rummaging around in here," she gestures vaguely at her own body, "bet that was fun and exciting. How many people died?"

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"Only one! And he was an idiot. When I saw the stuff in your bone marrow I immediately declared a lockdown, tested it on a mouse, and instituted the proper protocols for 'alien goo that gives you ultra-cancer'. Then, for whatever fucking reason, Valdez decided to inject himself with it. I think he'd noticed your corpse's regenerative properties and assumed he could get superpowers. We fired his remains into the nearest sun, after making sure everyone on the project got a good look at them."

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"...I think I missed something. Why does Shepard have carcinogenic alien goo in her bones."

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