When they brought him into the fold, they told him that he'd have power, that he could be important, that when the demons conquered Golarion it would be safer to side with the conquerors than their food. He'd told himself it wasn't a big deal, that it wasn't like he was a murderer or anything, and — maybe at first it had been true, maybe at first everything he'd been doing really was as little as he liked to pretend. But when he's gotten to the point of tipping off a priest of Deskari about a patrol that would be particularly valuable to ambush, or keeping lookout for a companion trying to release weevils in the granary, does it matter whether his hands were ever personally on the scythe that killed someone? He remembers the look on Karola's face when they told her what happened to her brother, and he'd told himself he wouldn't have been long for this world either way, but even if that were true he could have had another month. It feels like there's some sort of horrible twisted beast crawling in his stomach, trying to corrupt him, but that's not even true, it was still him who made those choices.
He falls to his knees.
"I, I, I've been helping the Deskarans for years, I don't know what you want to know but whatever it is I'll tell you, there's a group of people gathering to the north of the city, I was going to regroup with them — I've been sneaking information for them, helping them take out Kenabres's defenses, telling them where to be if they want to get the jump on a group of crusaders, sabotaging their supplies — I'm so sorry, I know that doesn't matter but I am — two years ago I stole a crate of healing potions and swapped them out for water with a little dye, and they gave me some kind of magic dust to mix in so it'd still look magic — I'm sorry, I know it was wrong, I knew it was wrong then but I told myself it wouldn't matter—"