“Excuse me, Traceless?  My name is Rhonda Vue, with the EDN Show.  Do you perhaps have a few minutes?  If you’re available, I was hoping to ask you a few questions about the the ‘dungeon monster zoo’. It’s a fascinating concept.”

"Oh, good morning, nice to meet you! I'm always happy to talk about Ontario Monster Park."

“Wonderful!  Give me just a moment, we’re going to set up.”  Rhonda gestures at her camerawoman.  “I understand that you’re more comfortable with a conversation going.  Is there anything you’d like to bring up before we have a camera rolling?”

"You probably don't want to ask for my talking monstercat to show up, he's not as friendly as I am."

“I had heard the rumors.  Is he really as forthright as they say?”

"You can read authentic Cricket dialogue on my blog, though of course that's filtered for the choicest bits."

“I will admit, this was a chance encounter.  I got rather distracted by the dungeon photography on Eventualities.  Some of them are beautiful.  Or haunting.”

"Reporters lurking outside of dungeons serious enough for espers to be involved usually don't try to claim it's a coincidence, especially if they have a camera operator along."

“Well, it’s not exactly a coincidence.  They say you make your own luck.  I was hoping to be able to talk to an esper, but I didn’t plan on it being you, specifically.  I did get lucky, though, Ontario Monster Park is genuinely fascinating.”

"I'm very proud of it, though on paper my relationship with it is a mostly informal matter."

"We're just about ready, Rhonda."  The camera has indeed been set up, there's a big parasol-looking light reflector set up to ensure Rhonda and Traceless get good lighting.

"Thank you, Sam.  Anything you want to cover before we go live?  If there's anything you say that you need to cut, just tell me right away.  I'll clap my hands to make the sound engineers happy, and we'll cut it."

"That's very generous of you, I'll try not to need it. I'm good to go till my partner's ready."

"Excellent.  Cameras rolling?"  Upon receiving an affirmative, Rhonda claps.  "Three, two, one, and go."  Rhonda turns to Traceless, takes half a breath and settles.  Her posture widens and opens up a little bit, standing at an angle so that both Traceless and the camera can see her face.  "Good afternoon, Traceless!  Thank you for joining us on the EDN Show.  I appreciate you taking the time to have a quick word with us."

"It's no trouble at all, you caught me at a good time!"

"Well, if you hang out near enough dungeons, you're bound to talk to an esper eventually!  Normally in an esper interview, I like to talk about their powers, their experiences in dungeons and the like.  But your unique relationship with Ontario Monster Park really caught my eye.  Can you tell us a little bit about it?"

"Ontario Monster Park is a zoo devoted entirely to the care and display of dungeon monsters. It stocks exhibits exclusively from confirmed-destroyed dungeons - except for the plants, most of the plants are normal - and it's out on an artificial island on the lake so it's at minimal risk of being visited by a dungeon itself. My power set is pretty good for live capture and I supply a plurality of the exhibits. While a lot of monsters die when their dungeons do, there are lots that don't and every one can tell us something more about the magic we've shared the universe with since the seventies. Conventional zoos are sometimes willing to host monsters - Ripley's in particular has a fair few - but they have an unrelated research mission because monsters can't tell us much about conventional biology and evolution, so having a dedicated institution seems to me essential for advancing the state of knowledge."

"That makes a lot of sense.  And for those of our viewers at home who might not be familiar, your power is stealth, correct?"

"I have a few but that's the main classification that matters for this! I can sneak up on a monster and put a cage around it before it knows what's happening."

"No wonder you're responsible for so many of the captures, if you can just appear a cage around a monster.  From its perspective, at least.  What's the most interesting critter you've gotten to the Park?"

"The Park's got a talker! I have a roommate who is also a talking monster, but living at the zoo itself is a robot bird named Mori. He runs on electricity and enjoys doing art commissions and talking philosophy."

"Well.  That definitely qualifies - I like to ask open-ended questions because I never would have thought to ask after THAT.  How about plants?  You mentioned there were fewer plants than animals.  What are they like?"

"Plants are easier to harvest than monsters - you don't need powers to do it, for a lot of them - so there are plenty living on Earth, but the Park doesn't specialize in dungeon plants; we've mostly only got them to supplement the habitats for monsters from the same dungeon when that happens to be convenient. They're lower maintenance, as a rule. You still have to take care of a plant, but you don't usually need to worry about it escaping, and most of them don't need to be fed anything but water and sunshine if they can live out of their dungeon at all. So they wind up scattered across various labs and there's not as much call to have a specific facility for them."

"That makes sense.  It sounds like you've been doing this for a couple of years now.  Have there been any captures that were harder than - " Rhonda mimes putting a cage over an invisible monster. " - boop, you're in Monster Jail now?"

"Yes - anything really big is hard just to move, espers are strong but I can't carry an entire rhinoceros. Some monsters are fast enough, and flighty enough, that I can't catch them just because they can't tell I'm there; I have to guess where they're going and have a cage in the way and get it closed smart quick, or I have to try many times, or I have to figure out how to get them to roost, or, once, I caught an injured monster and crossed my fingers that if it lived it'd heal - it didn't live, so I don't know if I would've been right. Plenty of monsters are pretty dangerous just to be near, and need specialized cages and I have to go in with extra protective gear. I would rather like to have some kind of lava monster but I've never even tried that."