Hailey laughs and nods. "Yep. Having to murder monsters for our rent is a small price to pay for getting to look this hot all the time," she gestures indicatively at them both, "am I right?"

Hyacinth laughs, then nods. "Yeah, pretty much."

"So what about you, Sin? What are you into?"

"Iiiiiiiiii..." 

Hyacinth looks away. "D/S stuff, mostly. I — definitely would like to try some S&M stuff sometime too, I've said that. I just — you were my first, genuinely. Never felt comfortable before I put this body on, and everyone could see it. So..."

She blushes. "... I, um. Was pretty predictably into forcefem stuff... some of it kind of rough... and I've read a decent chunk of hentai including some actual sex education material... it was kind of a... special interest of mine. And the more I learned the more I wanted to be... hot like the girls I read about..."

Hyacinth drops her face into her free hand and blushes helplessly. The fact that her other hand's occupied by her staff means she can't really hide her embarrassed face though.

Hailey snickers, smirks, and leans over to kiss Hyacinth's cheek. "Cute. Very cute."

This is really not helping the blush situation!

Hyacinth manages to speak up. "But yeah, um. I was really into... sissy hypnosis... And the kinks that come with that. Chastity, maid play, um, cuck stuff, humiliation, degradation... Being forced..."

Hailey grins sharply, cups Hyacinth's chin, kisses her deeply, and then nips her lower lip as she pulls away. 

"Well, now I've got an idea for what to do if we ever figure out how to run separate avatars simultaneously. Tie you up with your hand between your legs and make you watch while one Pirate fucks another into a mewling puddle."

Hyacinth lets out a flustered mewl and bites her lip and looks down at her feet.

Hailey just smirks, wraps an arm around her, and keeps walking. "Adorable."

... everything is still okay...?

She leans a little heavily on Hailey and tries to focus on where she's going.

Judging by the fond grin on Hailey's face and the tight squeeze she's holding Sin close with, all of this seems to have been taken as good news and prospective fun.

... She walks in silence for a little while. 

Even a well-intentioned cis person might not believe her if she said she was a girl, on this evidence. At least, she thinks so...

Her family certainly didn't believe her, and they didn't even know...

Eventually Hailey looks over and notices the expression on Sin's face.

"Wait a damned minute... I know that look. Are you shame-trapping yourself about this stuff?"

"Um... depends on what you mean by shame-trapping...?"

"I mean getting stuck in 'I'm bad' and 'this means I'm not valid about that' and 'it's not okay that I like this' and 'she's going to hate me or disbelieve me or be disgusted now' and similar bullshit."

"... Oh."

She rubs the back of her head. 

"... I guess I am. Sorry."

Hailey huffs and pokes Sin firmly on the sternum. "Don't apologize for it. That just reinforces it, and besides you're not hurting anyone but yourself with it. Tell us so we can hug you about it, dork."

"I just... the Patriot Church people, they talk about autogynephila and shit and say that — trans people are all sex perverts and get off on being women. And that describes me. I am a sex pervert who gets off on being a woman. And that's just..."

She looks down at herself. "It makes you wonder if the other things they say are true too. That I'm deluded. Sick. Wrong. That there's something broken in my brain that makes me act like this. And... in the worst case, you know, that I should actually die for it. You know the doctrine."

"Those assholes are the proverbial stopped clock. They got lucky and found one girl who kinks on it, but they doesn't mean a single other fucking thing they say has any validity. The entire basis of their bullshit runs on sex-shaming and pleasure-shaming and the naturalistic fallacy."

"I know I should believe that. It's the safe thing to believe. The comforting thing to believe. But..." 

She tears up. "It's hard enough to believe I'm worth it without wondering if they're right."

... She needs to get herself under control. 

She slots her basic meditation skill over the healing bolt in what is quickly becoming her utility slot, and throws herself into it for a long moment. She walks slow, rhythmically. Even steps, supported by her staff.

It helps. 

"... What I mean to say is... I was raised to believe in truth. Not just what people preach, not just listening to authorities. Actually looking at the evidence. And the evidence I have on the fact of the matter in my case is closer to the Patriot Church's model than anything I've ever heard advanced by a pro-trans advocate."

She shakes her head. "That doesn't mean the patriot church is right. They could be taking a true piece of evidence to a completely wrong conclusion as they so constantly and obviously do. But I'm not able to just dismiss the question because that's wilfully ignoring evidence. The data I have is not in accord with either side's testimony. So I'm left in the dark trying to find my own way."

Hailey nods thoughtfully. "I can respect the truth-seeking there. Let's look at it this way. They're against polyamory, homosexuality, trans acceptance, and the worst ones are even against sex outside that's not for procreation and ever questioning scripture or pastors. The cited reasoning in all cases is that it's 'unnatural and against scripture'. What's the common thread between all these things? Also, you're familiar with the naturalistic fallacy, right?"

"Yes, I'm familiar. And I acknowledge the point. It's just... I don't want to be stuck pretending that my life went the way that the trans advocates would like it to be. I don't want to become a weapon in the Patriot Church's hands, but at the same time I don't want to pretend my reasons were clean and sanitary and good. My reasons were a mess. I just feel that society's not yet ready to accept "Yes, I am a sex pervert, and I am going to live my life in accordance with the kink role I prefer, and anyone who disagrees can get bent" as a real, serious proposition, you know?

She huffs at the thought of society's predictable reactions and nods. "Yeah, they likely aren't ready to accept that. And too bad for them. What would it mean for there to be a true distinction between valid and invalid reasons to be trans, though? How would that world look different from one in which 'invalid reason to be trans' wasn't a coherent idea?"

"... You've got me there. I just worry. Keeping this secret is hard, and living in the meat sack has been harder, and there are times when I just want to put everything down and hide."

Hyacinth leans a little against Hailey. 

"I just want to be able to be my true self. But it feels like no matter where I go I'm an outcast."