"Okay. Shoo, I'm trying to learn all the things."

He shoos. He adjusts potion-robots.

 What's the article like, when it comes out?

Lurid. Abbreviated, though with the transcripts of rescue fork interactions offered as a side publication in full. Does technically mention that Cam put back about half the population of Valinor; does not extend him the courtesy of "so far".

Ah, people. Well, non-Elf people. Elves probably don't even have tabloids. "Do Elves have tabloids?"

"Hmm? Yes, of course. They cover what I wear to tax negotiations, that kind of thing."

"And never accuse you of secretly being a lizard?"

"There was someone who was insistent that Huan liked shapeshifting to impersonate the royal family, and hosted debates over which things we said were us as opposed to said by Huan impersonating us. Eventually I think Huan snuck into his house somehow and ate all his rugs and he moved to Alqualondë."

Hee hee.

"Why do you ask?"

"I have been against my better judgment reading Hell tabloids."

"Uh, why?"

"I want to have a better sense of information dissemination in Hell, how and in what ways new stuff will be disruptive, whether there are responsible people with any steering power on the public zeitgeist-"

"You wanted to know where that one guy conjures his news from."

"Yes."

"There's an old Earth saying, 'the Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it'. Hell even more so."

"I assure you I wasn't going to try to shut anyone up, that really doesn't work even before the, uh, net."

"What are you trying?"

"Giving them more material. The Enemy is a very sensational topic."

"...what if they turn up how to fork people? That would be very bad unless we can get fork protection for the world."

"Yes, it would. Unlikely, not made significantly more likely off the information that the world had an evil god who was torturing everybody, if it did depend on that remaining a secret it was going to happen anyway, ditto for the secret Valinor now exists again, and while it'd be an annoying waste of time Minor and I can do airtight law enforcement."

"More attention means more likely, but maybe not overwhelmingly so. Can you, though?"

"I'd also rather it be old news before we increase the population of demons a hundredfold. Anyway, I bet you can confund someone into taking a summons and I'm certain you could Imperius them. We stop time in Hell, and if they won't answer a circle we summon all their nearest neighbors, get a door to right where they're at, fetch their victims and give them a binding."

"...Fair enough."

"We don't have another mortality solution, when we find people who hatch from eggs or something are we going to refrain from teaching them summoning?"

"We might leave them until we've been through more worlds in case we find another mortality solution."