The sane people have to think first, so they never had a chance.

—GREAT PHARASMA PLEASE GRANT ME YOUR PROTECTION AGAINST THE UNDEAD RIGHT NOW IN THIS ROOM*

*cave

Uh, hello

Hi, do you know why all you guys have been killing everyone?

And is there anything we could do to convince you to go away, or else you can keep the city but let us walk out?

Oh, my landlord's sister's youngest child tried that!

Didn't work.

Well of course it didn't, if we're negotiating it won't be with the shadows directly, it'll be with the secret cleric of Urgathoa controlling them!

Maybe if we get everyone a piece of paper, and if you're the cleric of Urgathoa you write down your demands, and otherwise you leave it blank, and then we mix them up so nobody can tell who wrote -

OR SHE COULD JUST REVEAL HERSELF NOW I GUESS, THATS FINE THIS IS ALL FINE PLEASE DONT KILL ME

IF YOU BREAK MY SHADOW WHEN HE'S NOT EVEN FIGHTING BACK YOU WILL BE HIS REPLACEMENT

Hi, do you know why all you guys have been killing everyone?

And is there anything we could do to convince you to go away, or else you can keep the city but let us walk out?

There was this thing about killing all Korvosans, some people got creepily into it. Now I think people are mostly just hungry.

I don't have the level of... sway, we'll say, to let you out of the city.

I'm not really in charge... no, we'll intensify that. I'm really not in charge.

If this shadow isn't even important why are we talking with it? I don't negotiate with peasants.

Do you know a guy who does? Is there stuff you like eating besides people's strength?

...what if we pretended to not be Korvosans?

Orner Reebs did some Communes about stuff, remember? They like eating inferior people too.

There was this thing about killing all Korvosans, some people got creepily into it. Now I think people are mostly just hungry.

I don't have the level of... sway, we'll say, to let you out of the city.

Currently they won't get to eat any of us, and we'll all starve too inside the Vault. What if we agreed to let you eat half the Korvosans?

Brilliant. And then when they come to negotiate again we can offer them half again, and we can keep doing it forever because they'll never get to eat all of us.

I don't think Korvosans are infinitely divisible.

There's still food up there even as we're starving down here.

Since they can't eat flour and we can't* eat people, what if we agree to do a little trade? Then nobodies hungry.

*because we'd turn into ghouls

Can shadows carry flour sacks?

I don't think Korvosans are infinitely divisible

We just gotta reproduce faster than they kill us! Hey guy who was praying to Calistria, will she give us any miracles for that? Or Pharasma maybe, she likes both birth and death, right?

I'm looking at the sheet and it just has "-" for a strength score.

Does that mean they can't carry anything?

I think we want Lamashtu for that, not Calistria. So we should dig down to the abyss to talk to her.

We should find and kill that guy's brother. So he goes to Heaven.

Oh, is Lamashtu being down there the reason those Mendevians became lizard people, that makes sense 

Weren't we supposed to be talking about rescuing the people on the surface? I vote we raise an army to go save them, and then to make sure it works without them all getting killed we mount them on fast flying creatures and then make sure they have plenty of class levels. Ranger sounds ideal.

I doubt Lamashtu living in the underdark was what turned the Mendevians into lizard people.

Don't you start now too.

The lizard people are real.