"All right. Would you like to come back with me to Ambaróna for the onboarding process and to help us set up a good planet for evacuation."

"Sure. I'm Curufinwë's ride home -"

" - he can meet his alternate universe versions and get caught up on modern technology. If that's all right with you -"

     "Sounds great. What's wrong with my Arda -"

"I will look that up and get back to you."

      "...ah huh."

"Should I be concerned?"

"There is some cause for concern."

"What, do the Valar come over and mind-control everybody even people who don't live in Valinor -"

"No. We think the Enemy is unusually subtle, too, and people who never went to Valinor plus all the ones who did end up - way more fucked up than the normal versions. Usually when we find an Arda we just give his grace's family access to everything and -"

       "I don't think the Valar fucked with us enough to make us untrustworthy."

"They did."

"Who's we, anyway?"

"The interdimensional organization I work for. I work for a Maitimo but mine doesn't have a sex slave. And, like, wouldn't, because he is not evil."

"He, uh, cut it out with the sex slave thing."

" - that's good. Less awkward if we don't have to make him. But still - usually we just hand them the multiverse, and they hate it if we don't do that, but when they have that poor judgment we can't."

"Hmmm?"

"...it's not going to go over that well, but, uh, I guess if you're the ones who have the multiverse to hand out it's your prerogative to an extent..."

"We know it's not going to go over well. There's - somebody who specializes in mostly getting along with them anyway. If you want to make the case for doing something different I can make sure it gets forwarded to the right people - evil Maitimo's alts really hate him, it bothers them to see their - talents - appropriated to get their people to go along with appalling conduct -"

"He cut it out. Findekáno went on vacation. Can you give him the multiverse?"

"The Findekáno? Yeah, they're fine." And she teleports them and drops off the Curufinwë and now they are in her office. "The one who was a victim of the other evil Maitimo was not super in a place to run multiverse operations but if yours is we'd be delighted to have him."

"He might want to finish his vacation first, I'm not sure."

"Are you familiar with computers?"

"No."

"All right. If it's okay with you, I am going to tap you with this Allspeak wand, which will do magic translation, and then I have papers for onboarding new dimensions and we can go through them. Does that work?"

"That sounds fine unless the translation magic is complicated in some way."

"It is not. - if you have dyslexia or dyscalculia it will fix it and it's a little weird if you are illiterate."

"Neither applies."

Tap!

The paperwork asks what polity he is representing and in what capacity and how they got here and what their lifespans are like. The disaster/emergency relief paperwork asks about the scope of the disaster and the timeframe for aid and the kind of aid and lists possible kinds of aid in case there's something they were unaware was an option.