"I'm sorry," he says, cuddling her.

"Apology accepted." Pensive snuggle.

"It's hard to - talk about my feelings if I feel like you're just going to..." She trails off, then shakes her head, makes an unhappy sound, and scrunches again. "I don't - my feelings don't have a conveniently placed off switch labelled 'In case of emergencies'?"

Pensive snuggle.

"So it's not whether I tolerate being in love with you or not. I am and that's probably not going to stop?"

"...if you couldn't tolerate it then—I wouldn't want to keep you in a situation you found intolerable."

"... I don't know what that ends up meaning. You, what, drop me off on the continent and wave goodbye?"

"I don't know either. Something."

"Oh." Pensive snuggle.

Yes. Snuggle.

"And to think," says Eselle, deadpan, "we could have been having sex all day."

—he snickers.

"I love you," he says, hugging her and kissing the top of her head. "You're so—I don't know. Lovable." Nuzzle.

She snorts and relaxes a little.

"Thank you. I love you, too." Snuggle. Still kind of pensive, but less upset.

Snuggle. Much snuggle.

... Yeah, she thinks she's going to have to come to terms with the fact that her boyfriend actively tortures people without his help. He's not really helpful towards this endeavor.

But he's good for snuggling.

Snuggability is definitely an attribute he has.

"Well," he says after a few minutes, "I've stayed in bed all day and now I want to go fly. Will you be all right here by yourself or should I let you out somewhere?"

"Here's fine," she agrees. She makes an attempt at a smile and it doesn't quite fit. "Have fun flying."

He kisses her forehead and pets her hair and hugs her and gets out of bed.

"Thanks," he says, calling up floor-flowers to put clothes on him as he heads for a balcony.

The forehead kiss, hairpets, and hug all together earn a much more sincere smile from her.

"Love you," she adds as he goes, because - that seems like the thing to add, when one has just had an unpleasant conversation with a loved one.

He glances back at her and smiles. "I love you too."

And then he's off.

She flops backwards onto his bed and spends a little while contemplating the ceiling. Well, that sure was an unpleasant conversation that just made the both of them extremely unhappy without actually solving anything for either of them.

Okay. Let's sort through this mess logically, now that she's got time and space to think. What are her problems? Well, first, it bothers her, to have someone she loves go off and actively hurt people. She doesn't like people being hurt, and it's - it's weird for people she cares about to hurt people. Like the world is not arranged as it should be if the people she loves hurts people without good reason. She also likes being an undisputed positive on the world, able to just say that she made the world better for having been in it. This - feels like it calls that into question a little. Except, no, that's a logical fallacy. Loving someone who does terrible things is perhaps a bit fucked up, but the world isn't lesser for it. There's no grand debt she must repay for the sin of who she ended up wanting to be with. She wants to make the world better, period. No connection to who she loves.

While she would really like for Sekar to stop hurting people, and will probably try to make that happen in the future if it looks possible, it's not precisely a deal breaker. Which is a thing she sure learned about herself, isn't it. What a fucking bizarre thing to not be a deal breaker, he literally tortures people, holy shit. After a bit more analyzation, no, she's not broken for that. She just probably has taste that veers into questionable. She could spend a while hating herself for that, but, in short: nah.

Okay. That's probably her sorted. Ish. But there are two people in a relationship, so - how does she think Sekar was feeling?

... It would kind of suck to finally find someone who loves you, after several thousand years of being alone, who then went 'me or a major character trait.' Like, yeah, the major character trait is 'I want to torture people,' but. That probably hurt at least a little. The idea of being a simpering lovesick fool doesn't appeal, but he wasn't asking her to be okay with the torture. He just - didn't want her to find him intolerable.

He clearly wants what's best for her. Even if it would hurt him.

And for the rest, she's just thinking in circles and probably needs his actual input on.

It's a couple of hours before he lands and comes inside. He looks... a little tired.

She looks up from the paper she'd been absently doodling on and smiles a little when she sees him.

"Hey," she says softly. ... Does he look like he would like a hug, because she'd kind of like to hug him.

He does seem a little in need of hugging, yeah.

"Hi."

Well then he will be so hugged. Hug.

He wraps his arms around her and exhales a soft sigh into her hair.

"I love you," he murmurs.