The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

Did you ever hear what happened to King Eodred of Korvosa?

...You do have a point.

What did I say earlier? 'It's probably wise, if you find yourself saying that someone you killed should have taken some word or other of advice, to take it yourself, lest someone later say it of you.'

What's eighty-four?

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

I guess I'll make a note to hire more male prison guards... 

Eighty-five?

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

What if there aren't any buttons you can push to get the thing that you hope to get through the horribly complicated plan? I believe in tying off loose ends and in nailing down everything that shouldn't be moving, in simplifying everything that can be simplified, but at the end of the day I've still got to operate the ancient artifact and complete the rituals and satisfy all the people I need to keep happy and abide by the terms of everything I've signed.

If there was a button to press which would make immortal and almighty, I'd press it, but there isn't.

Hmmm. Starstone?

That's a button that kills you and eats your soul. I only play the lottery if it's rigged in my favor - not just from practicality; it's a moral principle.

Oh, speaking of which! I should host a lottery in Korvosa to raise money for my magic swag. 

I'll swear publicly under truth-telling that the prize will go to someone truly random. 

Wait, what happened to your moral principle? 

I won't buy a ticket. What's eighty-six?

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

Grounded?

It's a safety precaution for doomsday devices which run off electricity, but not really relevant to you.

Even if it won't come up, I still want to hear about it; this is fascinating to me.

I'd generally associate electric doomsday devices with the sky, like the Cloud Castle of the Storm King.

Why do you want them on the ground instead?

Similar to how heat wants to move from hotter places to colder places until everything is the same lukewarm temperature, electricity wants to move from places with a lot of electricity to places without much electricity until everything has the same low charge. Especially, electricity wants a path to the ground, because the ground can absorb and disperse a lot of electricity. If there's room for something or someone to get between the electricity and the ground, it might move through them to get there.

Huh.

I guess that makes sense of why storms shoot lightning bolts down at us instead of up into the sky above and in all directions, which is a question I never thought to ask.

Actually, thunderstorms do shoot lightning above clouds (albeit less lightning than they throw at the ground, and for a completely different set of reasons), and it's really cool. 

This is the wikipedia page about it. 

Choryon doesn't know any of this, though (and neither did I, before readers informed me).

Eighty-seven?

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

...I might be missing something.

I could very easily be missing something!

But I don't see how this is good advice.

I remember an encounter where there a bunch of casters stationed on a catwalk above these bubbling vats of nastiness, and Altronus wanted to trade salvos from the ground but I found the opportunity to climb up there and bullrush them into the vats too tempting to resist.

It totally worked, too, although, that did mean there was no one to stand in front of our backline when the zombies attacked.  

Without commenting on the competence or incompetence displayed by Korvosa's cult of Urgathoa in capitalizing (or failing to capitalize) on the advantage, I think that terrain hazards are, generally speaking, an asymmetric advantage for the people accustomed to using the space. 

I think the reason Peter's against uncovered vats with catwalks above is a combination of two factors. The first is that people will die accidentally outside during your day to day operations, which is the reason why uncovered vats of hazardous chemicals are a bad idea eye are el, and the second reason is just a restatement of rule 76 - the trope is that if the villain gets in a showdown with the hero near a ledge they could fall off of to their death, the villain takes the tumble.

But you're in a Pathfinder game, and in Pathfinder, combats are resolved based on dice rolls and smart tactics, so this isn't as relevant to you. In fact, including more walkways and bubbling vats of hazardous chemicals is plausibly just a good call, even if you're not doing anything with the chemicals? My team is incredibly practiced at killing all kinds of people and monsters in featureless rooms or open spaces - it's pretty much routine - but mixing things up means we have to think on our feet. 

Or we might feel drawn to do foolish things just because it's fun to interact with the terrain, even if it'd be smarter to stick to the tried and true!