Awwwwww. That kind of makes her feel like hugging Songbird Aziza again but they're back in front of everyone now. 

:I think the existence of another world with some gods that are a lot better than ours - admittedly some of them are a lot worse than ours too - but I think that was the most important part. But the friendship with Vanyel was...critical, really, to us not ending up at war with each other anyway.

- I hadn't thought about it before but I am actually kind of worried? About him? I think he must be - reasonably okay - most of the time, because I cannot imagine how he kept taking actions for two thousand years otherwise. But with all this - and he's coming back to the middle of an emergency with a lot of people desperate to hand responsibilities back to him.: She shakes her head slightly. :And I - my first thought when you asked that question was 'how would I know, that seems like his problem'. I think a lot of people might feel that way. And I think Vanyel might not think to ask the question, because he feels like Leareth can do anything, and while I love him dearly he can be incredibly dense sometimes.: 

"Well, that can be my job, then, because casting all of my spells for the entire day doesn't take up much of my time."

Some part of Shavri's mind is stumbling, with an almost indignant feeling of 'but you can't just do that!', but also: awwwwwwwwwwww. 

:Good luck: she says, smiling, and it's a genuine actual smile this time. 

It's getting pretty close to dawn. A good time to make at least the clerics, who are about to be uninterruptible for a candlemark, drink some tea first. ...And if Seldan is awake then maybe she can try apologizing, and run it by him whether she's right that Blai would find it pointless and weird or if he thinks there's something she could say that might remotely help. 

Seldan is awake! Not, like, very. But he cracks an eye open when Shavri approaches. 

:Hey.: She pours some fresh slightly-ginger-infused water into his trough, recently changed out for a clean one. :Drink up. ...By the way, I did want to apologize for, er, being reminiscent of Blai's seminary instructors. I'm not - sorry in the sense that I think I should definitely have done something differently, and I think it was probably worth it - but I do feel badly, and I know it was miserable for both of you, and - I guess I just want you to know that I know that and I wish we'd - had a better way.: 

Seldan's first thought is 'cute??' and his second thought is 'oh no she was really upset about it, she going to be feeling guilty for months' and the third thought was another that oh no, the first two thoughts have thoroughly ruined all of his Shavri-related revenge fantasies and he hadn't quite felt done with that, it was sort of soothing, at least to the part of him that really wants all problems to be solvable with his hooves. 

He's not bouncing it directly at Blai, but he's also not bothering to put up shields or in any way try to make this a private conversation. 

Blai is sort of concerned that this is an accident on Seldan's part, it does not really seem like Shavri's trying to talk to Blai directly at this time??

...She's not but Seldan thinks it's a "not trying to talk directly to Blai" in the sense that she doesn't want to force it to be an Interaction where Blai feels Expected To Respond; she's got to be perfectly aware that, like most Herald-Companion pairs, they're usually in rapport. Having an actually-private conversation with a Herald's Companion is, like, a thing? But you have to be very clear that it's what you're asking for. (Seldan would in fact be tucking it behind his shields anyway if it was, like, someone else's very personal secrets that have no relevance to Blai? He's done that some with the Companion-gossip. But, given that this concerns Blai and Seldan as a pair and no one else, he thinks this is a perfectly reasonable thing for Blai to listen in on if he wants and not do that if he doesn't want. ...He's pretty sure that Shavri is about to ask him if Blai wants a direct apology, anyway.) 

Seldan sometimes makes very accurate predictions. (And Shavri is in fact expecting a good chance that, at the very least, this whole conversation will be eagerly repeated to Blai about three seconds after she leaves, though she is perhaps-deliberately agnostic as to whether Blai is listening right now or, like, still dozing.)

:Is there - anything you think I could and should say to Blai that would - benefit him, and not just me and my feeling bad?: 

Not really??? If he imagines Literally Vicar Rey showing up he could concoct something useful for her to say but it'd be, like, "I have repented of my wickedness and now serve the poor soup", which doesn't really apply to Shavri???

Yeah that’s what Seldan thought. He suspects there’s an - interpersonal smoothing-over, ruffled-feeling-soothing, friendly-acquaintanceship-repairing purpose of apologies for things you aren't necessarily repenting of but were still - bad - that doesn't really...land...for Chelish people. And that Shavri correctly intuited that giving Blai a direct face-screamy apology speech wouldn't make him feel any better and would mostly be about her. And so instead she's doing this slightly plausibly deniable thing of talking to Seldan while Blai might or might not be awake or listening. 

...Also, Seldan is not Chelish and he DOES appreciate the purely ruffled-feeling-soothing kind of apology! His feelings were very ruffled! Shavri was extremely unpleasant to his Herald in the process of, you know, convincing him not to stop breathing. Even if some small part of Seldan wishes she'd figured out some new kind of nastiness to keep Blai conscious and breathing for another minute that might have made the difference on him not being dead for an entire several seconds - 

In his own schema of - the kind of acquaintanceship that all Valdemaran Companions have with all Valdemaran Healers even apart from any additional personal friendship - Shavri does owe him an apology. 

:Apology accepted: he tells Shavri. :I was mad at the time but I'm not holding a grudge. - It's a fascinating ethical dilemma you were faced with, though! If you were interested I'd be delighted to cowrite a treatise.: 

:- I'll think about it!: 

Seldan is very good.

Seldan agrees! He handled that beautifully! Shavri's ruffled feelings are also soothed now that they’ve achieved common knowledge that he isn’t holding a grudge and she won't feel quite so much need to feel like the worst person in the world and they’re back to friendly acquaintanceship terms and he did not at any moment lose his cool enough to bring up any desire to kick her in the head, which in any case he no longer has. 

Shavri fidgets.

:I want to buy you a Breath of Life scroll: she says abruptly. :I don’t know exactly how much it would cost but I think I can afford it, if I sell my diamond jewelry before the price crashes too far in Golarion - Joshel was saying - and it’s got to be less than a Raise Dead, right -:

Seldan is completely speechless for a moment! It’s actually very hard to do that to him!

:It's still well over a thousand gold!:

…Seldan can be un-speechless enough to relay this in case Shavri was very confused about how…he doesn’t even have words! how !!!!!!!!!!!????? an - apology present?? - this would be.

Shavri actually looks faintly relieved. :I can afford that.:

Not every week, it’s a substantial fraction of what she thinks she could pull together from her personal finances, but - when have her problems ever been so easily solved with merely gold? And those jewelry gifts from years ago that she hardly ever wears? She doesn’t even spend much of her Healers’ stipend and hasn’t for…a long time…what with how she lives in the King’s suite and doesn’t need to pay for a room herself, and it’s been so many years since she even had time or the emotional energy to go shopping for Midwinter gifts - and she feels a pang now, knowing that Jisa two years ago probably was a little hurt, but Jisa now wouldn’t begrudge this at all…

:I want to: she says. :It’s such an incredible spell!: 

:I really think we can make enough to cover it by parking in any Inner Sea city for a while and selling uses of the long distance telepathy!:

Shavri isn't trying to pick anything up from Blai directly, maintaining the pretense that she's having a conversation with Seldan that Blai isn't required or expected to respond to directly, but Seldan can pass that along like it's his own thought. 

:Sure, you're welcome to pay me back later! But in the meantime I won't miss it too much, and it sounds like you're expecting to be rather busy with the Constitutional Convention for a while, which might delay saving up? - Let me do this for you, at least as a loan, please? It's really such a delightful spell and it'll make me happy every time I think of it.: 

...Well, obviously she doesn't have to give them an apology BREATH OF LIFE SCROLL but Seldan is not actually inclined to say no!! What if they end up needing it at the Constitutional Convention before they've had any free time to save up? Seldan admittedly can't think of how it would come up but it might! 

She doesn't need to MORE THAN A THOUSAND GOLD apologize for keeping Blai BREATHING. On the other hand what IF they end up needing it at the convention. The archmages have enemies, the convention itself might be a target...