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ichorous april has a time in mass effect
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"Well, so much for that," sighs June. "I don't wanna eat a gunship, it'll be terrible for my digestion. Somebody give me a better option."

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Garrus flicks something on his omni-tool, and holds very still for a moment.

"Sure thing, boss," he says, and pops out of cover, and takes aim.

Two things happen at approximately the same time.

1) The gunship fires a rocket-propelled grenade.

2) Garrus' rifle emits the low thoom of a high-powered shot.

Two more things happen, at approximately the same time.

1) The gunship's window spiderwebs, and it spirals down into the enemy camp, where it explodes very hard.

2) The grenade impacts Garrus' face.

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June makes a furious hissing noise when the gunship fires, and is already bolting recklessly out of cover by the time the grenade hits. The blast sends her skidding backward, but she keeps her feet and keeps going, somehow, to reach Garrus mere moments later.

"Don't be dead, don't be dead, I am going to do something really stupid if you're dead," she mutters under her breath as she checks for vital signs.

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Vital signs: thready but present! His face is a mess, though; one of his mandibles no longer has scales, and it's hanging at a very uncomfortable-looking angle. At least it looks like his shields held his skull intact.

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"Shit. Let's get back to the ship - I can take his legs?"

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"...Yeah. Yeah, let's go." She glances around for signs of armed opposition and—can't immediately tell if everything that was just trying to kill them is definitely down, though that gunship crash site looks pretty final. "If you guys carry him, I can murder everything in our path as necessary?"

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Pieta carry of the heavily armored biometallic birdman.

"Shi? Help Shepard kill anything that moves."

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Zanna hits the compression button on Garrus' sniper rifle and clips it to her back in one fluid motion, then nods sharply. "Roger."

They hit the stairs.

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June is extremely tense and seems to be having trouble remembering that one is meant to take cover when one might get shot at; she just sort of stalks across the bridge, sniper rifle in hand, looking like she expects anyone who defies her to spontaneously implode from the sheer force of her wrath.

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It looks like anyone who survived the initial blast cut their losses. She is not shot at, as tempting a target as she may be.

They reach their aircab in short order. The pilot, having stayed only about a kilometer from the blast site, is presumably on Cerberus' payroll; if not, he's probably going to be now. Miranda deposits Garrus in the back and waits for the others to get in. Then she growls, "Docking bay Theta-52. Now."

This instruction is heeded, without a word about the cobalt blood pooling on the faux-leather seats.

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Someone who leaned in very close to June, or had very good hearing, could perhaps catch the faint sound of her muttering "don't be dead, don't be dead" under her breath.

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If Miranda's hearing is that good, she's smart enough not to say anything about it.

They reach the docking bay in short order, and Miranda hauls Garrus through the loading doors.

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"Greetings, Operative Lawson," chimes EDI's voice. "I paged Dr. Solus and Dr. Chakwas per your message; they are preparing the medbay for surgery."

The door hisses open after what may be the slowest sterilization scan of all time, and an operative with an antigrav gurney straps Garrus down and hovers him away.

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"I am going to go break some exercise equipment," June announces. "Call me if he dies."

And she heads to her quarters, where she presumes she will be able to dig up and subsequently annihilate a punching bag.

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A punching bag can fabricate itself and descend from her ceiling! And then it can be quite thoroughly annihilated. The process can be repeated several times. The bags can mimic a traditional sandbag, a 20th-century rubber-pellet model, or the more modern gel variants.

After a few iterations, EDI chimes. "The surgery is complete, Commander Shepard. Mister Vakarian is unconscious but in stable condition."

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"Oh thank fuck," she says, collapsing abruptly onto the couch.

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"Shall I notify you when he regains consciousness?"

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"Sure, thanks."

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"Understood."

EDI hesitates.

"...you might want to sleep, Commander."

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"Who says I sleep?"

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"Understood," EDI repeats.

The little blue hologram winks out.

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She grumpily assaults another punching bag, but her heart's not in it and she doesn't hit hard enough to launch it into a wall this time. After a while, she does, in fact, sleep.

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When she wakes up, EDI flickers back into being.

"Mr. Vakarian has woken up," she says. "He has been released from bed rest but is not to engage in strenuous activity for the next galactic standard day. He specifically asked 'if Shepard chewing me out counts as strenuous activity'; Dr. Chakwas replied that it was medically necessary."

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"Oh good!"

Hup, out of bed, quick shower, clothes on, time to go yell at the friend.

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Dr. Chakwas is standing outside the medbay drinking coffee out of a regulation beverage cylinder, and raises her other hand in greeting as June approaches.

"Commander. It's good to see you again - I do hope you're taking care of yourself."

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