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The West Coast Guardians Selfcest Controversy
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♦ Topic: The West Coast Guardians Selfcest Controversy

► [IncreasinglyAccelerated]

Posted on September 6, 2022:

Springlock, pan-flash star of the crowd-funded hero team the West Coast Guardians, was caught by a flyby drone last night passionately making out with someone who appears to be an identical copy of herself. The Guardians have yet to comment—which means that, obviously, it’s the perfect time to unleash our most unhinged theories.

So what are we dealing with here: a vat-grown clone? An alt world version of her? Is Springlock her own time displaced mother? Did she hire a shapeshifter or spontaneously manifest self replication powers? Is this the scandal that finally sinks the West Coast Guardians—or a calculated publicity stunt meant to juice their sagging popularity?

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jsmith
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► [JustThreadIt], posted on September 6, 2022:

I do not believe anyone here is falling for how blatantly overblown this is. Heroes have doubles, or decoys for see-your-face magic, it's a thing for basically any public figure by now. And it's entirely unsurprising they'd sometimes make out, has no one here seen last year's Maisie Rottenhouse documentary?

► [coelotilapine], posted on September 6, 2022:
Reply to: [JustThreadIt]
I do not believe anyone here is falling…

Honestly neither of these might actually be Springlock, now that I think about it

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Rockeye
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► [SeveralIdeas], posted on September 6, 2022:

First. Third. Also my random guess is some sort of mimic or succubus realizing the only thing Springlock loves is herself. But why is it even a big deal? What people do with themselves and consenting alternate universe copies or mimics or whatever, is their own business imo. Wouldn't mind more pictures tho.

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Pano
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►[IncreasinglyAccelerated], posted on September 6, 2022:

Reply to: [JustThreadIt] I do not believe anyone here is falling…

But! BUT! Have you considered that, a month ago, Springlock didn’t explicitly deny that she might have been in a relationship with Hyperviolent Hyperviolet of the Time-o Spectronaught’s in this interview (10:37)? Time travel shenanigans! It’s totally possible!

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jsmith
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► [coelotilapine], posted on September 6, 2022:
Reply to: [IncreasinglyAccelerated]
But! BUT! Have you considered that…

ooh! I'm not inclined to treat public non-denials as meaningful, but I like your mind. I wonder if he has a longer time limit than he's publicly declared, you would have to be very fast at kissing to get enough of it in as I know it to be!

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Rockeye
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► [TallOrange], posted on September 6, 2022:

This looks like fake footage to me. You can tell by the way they're moving, it's floaty, no sense of physicality, and the one on bottom isn't deforming the couch nearly as mush as she should.

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